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Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

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Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#81

Post by cleandreams »

I got burned out with the combination of a high intensity job, care taking a dying spouse, and managing the decline and dementia of a parent. Both deaths occurred near each other. I had always been highly productive and successful but at a certain point I couldn't really focus anymore. My brain felt empty. I had trouble learning things. Luckily I had had one of those golden jobs in which I made a small fortune. I retired early. Now I feel fresh again and I want to get back into the mix. It took a couple of years though.

What did I do? Grief workshops, therapy, gym, meditation, grief groups, community service, deeper friendships. It works. It just takes time.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#82

Post by swatcoder »

SoftTalker wrote: post #65
AnimalMuppet wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Unfortunately when it comes to preparing for interview leetcode is pretty much required at all stages. I have never had a leetcode-style interview in 40 years. (I may have had one such question , maybe - hard to remember for sure.) So, no, it is not required at all stages. Disclaimer: I'm in embedded systems, which is very different from FAANG.

Also never interviewed at FAANG and never been asked to write code in an interview

I'm with you and the GP, but I suspect all three of us have pursued a balanced and satisfying career instead of the one with top of market compensation.

Some of the folks here don't see alternative options when FAANG compensation is some integer multiple of what the rest of the industry has been supporting for the last 40+ years, and I don't entirely blame them for that. I'm not surprised when some later find themselves miserable and feel like they're trapped by golden handcuffs and insufferable bureaucracy, but I understand how they got there.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#84

Post by py_or_dy »

Same, I noticed my decline about two years before I got covid (2019). Getting covid def didn't help. I've managed to work a pretty simple software dev job mostly fixing bugs and not under any time constraints. I think that helped, but then I just now got laid off because the company realized that they could outsource most of the software work to china and/or Philippines. That and the notion that along with AI, I don't think the American based software developer will ever be a thing again. Which that is making me depressed again...

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#85

Post by parpfish »

AnimalMuppet wrote: post #59
Bayko wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately when it comes to preparing for interview leetcode is pretty much required at all stages. For that the way that works for me is to never let go of it. I will solve 2 3 problems over a week even when I have a job. That downtime at work when you are at home or waiting for the next meeting...just leetcode. I absolutely hate LC and hate the fact that it is omnipresent but now no longer fear it. Except Dynami…

> Unfortunately when it comes to preparing for interview leetcode is pretty much required at all stages. I have never had a leetcode-style interview in 40 years. (I may have had one such question , maybe - hard to remember for sure.) So, no, it is not required at all stages. Disclaimer: I'm in embedded systems, which is very different from FAANG.

I’ve run into a leetcode once over the course of five job hunts. There’s always some sort of screener that may use a leetcode style interface, but the problem is something like fizzbuzz/write a function to say if a number is prime/etc.

The interview is about finding the obvious resume frauds and seeing if they can communicate their problem solving process, not finding a genius that’ll invent new algorithms

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#87

Post by dheera »

al_borland wrote: post #67
CuriouslyC wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think it's fair to use the term workaholic with founders. If you're not well capitalized you have to be a workaholic just to survive. There are a fair amount of narcissistic founders because extreme self confidence is table stakes for a startup, and people who have that level of confidence are statistically more likely to be narcissists than hyper competent just based on the frequency of the two.

It’s fine for the founder to work non-stop. That’s pretty much required for some period of time to get a company off the ground. They should not expect this same level of dedication from employees. No one is ever going to care as much as the founder. Just like a teacher or baby sitter is never going to care as much about a kid as the parents (assuming good parents here).

I know founders do this (as a former founder myself), but it's also super unhealthy for the founder to do this for more than a few weeks at a time. Our bodies and minds are not designed to handle that.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#88

Post by haswell »

siamese_puff wrote: post #34

What to do? My company dropped support for therapy, I pay $4k a month in rent and feel I probably just won’t wake up some days. I wouldn’t mind taking a break, but the nonstop posts about not being able to get a job don’t help. Have never felt more trapped.

When you say your company dropped support, do you mean they were providing it directly and now aren’t, or it’s no longer part of your health insurance?

I’ve worked at places that did both. Check your health plan. Most decent ones have mental health coverage.

Don’t let coverage stop you from getting help. From experience, there comes a point when staying just won’t be an option. Your body will make the decision for you.

I started a sabbatical right before all of the layoffs started. It was a little spooky at first but it was also the best decision I’ve ever made.

Also worth looking into taking medical leave. Easier if you’ve been speaking with a therapist and/or doctor who can help justify the leave. I almost did this but didn’t want any pressure to return.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#89

Post by haswell »

chrnola wrote: post #45
siamese_puff wrote: post #34

What to do? My company dropped support for therapy, I pay $4k a month in rent and feel I probably just won’t wake up some days. I wouldn’t mind taking a break, but the nonstop posts about not being able to get a job don’t help. Have never felt more trapped.

Same. I would rather put up with being burnt out than subject myself to interviewing. Ridiculous.

That’s the burnout talking. Took me a number of months on sabbatical before I realized that the idea of interviews no longer made me want to crawl into a hole.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#90

Post by siamese_puff »

blueyes wrote: post #12

I got super burned out working in startups for about 8 years. didn't realize it on the inside. now that i'm out, i look back and realize i was in a constant state of stress and anxiety. i got my sleep back, started exercising, started doing ice plunge/sauna, cut stress, limited exposure to stupid messaging streams like slack. it's a new world. i had to remake myself chemically in tiny steps and it took about two soli…

While working?
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