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Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

bbc.com

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Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#81

Post by miika »

Sometimes it seems to me that many of us are in a state of permanent entertainment. It has become our default mode so any break from it may trigger even anxiety..

In my life I find that what works the best for my kid and for myself are physical activities such as climbing, swimming and walks in forest.

I'm trying to find ways to replace dopamine with serotonin (replacing pleasure with happiness) and it seems that usually involves some form of physical activity where mind needs to focus on the movement and surroundings, so that there is simply not much room for thinking and desires.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#82

Post by theGnuMe »

WA wrote: post #61
theGnuMe wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dad, can I bring my iPad? Me: no Dad, my iPad is dead. Can I use your phone? Me: no And so forth. Not hard.

My kid usually wants to know how I make decisions and never settles for a single "no" or "because I said so". I can tell them "because I want you to find some other stuff to play with", which might result in complaining for a while. Saying "not hard" is definitely not true in many cases. It's doable, but it's still hard.

Whatever works for your family. The more you set the boundary though the better. I guess the ideal parenting method is to reinforce good choices and not reinforce bad ones.

The best trained dogs are those trained only by positive reinforcement so…

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#83

Post by dolmen »

netsharc wrote: post #80
lordofgibbons wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anecdotally, I just took a long vacation in a country without much cell connectivity, and had a great time. It was very eye opening. But ever since coming back, I've been extremely unmotivated to work. I'm not sure if this counts as work burnout, but I'm sure the vacation had an impact.

Where's this. My first thought was North Korea, I wonder if people there are hella creative, but I guess sadly they're too busy doing things the medieval way to have free time. Second guess is Mongolia, where the steppes go on and on forever...

You don't have to go to such extreme places to be forced into being disconnected from the Internet. I'm sure you'll find such places much nearer to your home.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#84

Post by taneq »

skrebbel wrote: post #71
user3939382 wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You could argue by providing those things you’re forcing them into perpetual stimulation. It’s a matter of perspective. The difference is that like sugar, unless we’re using our rationality to override the impulse, we’ll always pick stimulation though that’s not necessarily healthy.

I’m a geek. My kids are geeks. To not provide them access to a computer because there’s bad addictive things on computers is like not teaching kids to read because there’s harmful books. In reality, things are never so black and white. When I tell my kids “no youtube, no gaming, but you’re allowed to use Scratch” there’s a risk they’re just browse scratch’s endless catalog of games made by others, plenty of which are…

Cue the Penny Arcade strip about screen time.

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#85

Post by kvetching »

miika wrote: post #81

Sometimes it seems to me that many of us are in a state of permanent entertainment. It has become our default mode so any break from it may trigger even anxiety.. In my life I find that what works the best for my kid and for myself are physical activities such as climbing, swimming and walks in forest. I'm trying to find ways to replace dopamine with serotonin (replacing pleasure with happiness) and it seems that usu…

It's truly not a fair fight. There are literally trillions of dollars being spent to hijack our attention

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#86

Post by kstenerud »

082349872349872 wrote: post #13

> All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. —BP

It's unfortunate that he spoke in terms of absolutes with this quote.

Yes, there are a number of problems that can be solved by sitting quietly, but there are many more problems that cannot.

- A fire

- An angry girlfriend

- Racism

- A border dispute

- Monopolies

- Corruption

- War

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#87

Post by 082349872349872 »

atoav wrote: post #63
082349872349872 wrote: post #13

> All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. —BP

I'd go one step farther and say all of humanity's problems stem from humanity existing and needing resources to exist.

> In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. —DNA

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#89

Post by teekert »

Screw getting bored and “fixing” it with a screen. I’ve been seeing a new trend: Parents with kids on the backs of their bikes (something everyone does here, but now) with the kids glued to a screen… So, instead of learning (without getting bored at all!) about the reality that they are one day going to have to navigate by themselves, they watch some cartoon, blaring annoying audio to people around them in the process.

What’s wrong with humanity?

Re: Children should be allowed to get bored (2013)

#90

Post by mihaaly »

bigoldie wrote: post #45

I often think that a lot of people are depressed and/or in a burn out because they don't give themselves a moment to do nothing. A moment were the brain can get up to speed with all the bombardments of information. In the past we had moments we were bored. Now, we always have a phone or other screen were we can indulge on dopamine.

While I was younger and before the social networks I often looked puzzled when someone told me he/she is bored. How could that be? Usually there are much more to do or to think about than the time we got. I had to utilize all I got including sitting on the toilet or falling (trying) asleep at night. I may be mistaken but the maniac way of feeling ourselves good when we go out together may be a related matter. The having a schedule 20:00-24:00 or later Saturday night when you WILL feel good because it is the time for feeling good! Not only good but very good! Party pooping is not allowed! Quiet conversation or just being together quietly sounds more genuine most of the times. But all depends on the mood. Spinning around on the head may occur of course if the mood allows. But rarely on fixed schedule.

It is about the same now but I genuenly have much more to do, miss the times of doing nothing. Whenever I have to travel that is the time of reflection. Instead of pushing my nose into the mobile I stare outside or try to observe others without being creepy. It is easier nowadays, 90% of travellers use mobile. They don't know what happens around them. Luckily this mobile and tablet revolution passed me by, likely because of my occupation. I have all day at the computer I can use 30-60 min away, it is not enough actually.

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