81–90 of 260 posts
If we tallied up all technical projects in the Western world that failed, how many would be failing due to lack of kindness versus, say, straight-forwards incompetence? Because 100% fall in the latter category in my experience. One of the problems with engineers counter-signalling engineering values (like actual technical competence) is that we live in a world where those values are extremely underrated while every m…
If we tallied up all technical projects in the Western world that failed, how many would be failing due to lack of kindness versus, say, straight-forwards incompetence? Because 100% fall in the latter category in my experience. One of the problems with engineers counter-signalling engineering values (like actual technical competence) is that we live in a world where those values are extremely underrated while every m…
Then the second person is blindsided when the first person goes and does something utterly selfish, as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
And the first person is baffled that anyone wouldn't expect someone to do that, since they assume anyone would do the selfish thing. And they still think of themselves as a kind person. Where their definition of kind is presenting a certain vibe exterior.
I call the first person a "sunny sociopath", after characters we'd often see in TV shows set in California.
If we tallied up all technical projects in the Western world that failed, how many would be failing due to lack of kindness versus, say, straight-forwards incompetence? Because 100% fall in the latter category in my experience. One of the problems with engineers counter-signalling engineering values (like actual technical competence) is that we live in a world where those values are extremely underrated while every m…
These kind of over-generalist advice are pretty meaningless (especially the title, content being more specific). You do not always want to be perceived (because that's what you're going for) as kind, it is situation specific. You do not want to be kind during negotiation, because that means you're usually missing out on a better deal. You do not want to be kind when dealing with bad behaviour. I've too often seen mis…
Perhaps the human beings in question refused to participate in that game and therefore went "missing"? People using the term "missing stair" are very often sanctimonious, obsessed with power, and just do enough of faking kindness to fly under the radar. And they treat others like inanimate objects.
No, please, I come to Hacker News to get away from platitudinous, short, vague LinkedIn advice.
just a few people are going to miss the smartest in the room, but everyone is going to miss someone kind How is the goal of having people miss you related to achieving business goals ? On the contrary if the smartest is able to produce a lot, people are going to miss him On that topic, I’d rather have people trying to not become offended for little things, seems easier than faking kindness for personal benefits
People don't like working with jerks. I don't. It's hard to achieve business goals if no one wants to work with each other.
Life is often a game of making sure you have enough at bats to eventually succeed.
From a self interested utilitarian view, people will remember you warmly for being kind and be happy to work with you again / give you another shot, far more than they will if you are smart & difficult.
Being incompetent and kind isn't my suggestion here. It is simply that if you are as smart and hard working as you think you are, it's not that hard to also be a little kind. If it is so hard for you, you may want to try working on it.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
So you want to be kind only for utilitarian motives, not because it’s a good thing in principle ?
It sounds like you're saying it's far better to be kind for altruistic reasons. Is that right? Some persons (me included) suspect that humans rarely if ever act with true altruism; that it's actually a nicely dressed up form of self-serving hedonism. And so for us, the challenge becomes how to get ourselves to act good / kind despite that. One way is to find ways to intentionally tie kind behavior to our own self-int…
It's a rather huge theoretical distinction that at least in the West goes all the way back!
In general, one shouldn't confuse ethics itself with the whatever one might think is the most viable ethical system! It isnt a product to market. Utilitarianism is no less silly the anything else, and has its own ridiculous edge cases and all that.