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Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

nohello.com

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Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#81

Post by piva00 »

throwaway598 wrote: post #4

> It's as if you called someone on the phone and said "Hi!" and then put them on hold! Typically you both say a greeting then a conversation starts. > Instead of being polite, you are just making the other person wait for you to phrase your question, which is lost productivity. Please don't count every second of your life in productivity lost to someone else. The root of the problem might be frustration with not gett…

My sister has this annoying behaviour on chats, she will send a "hi, how are you?" and wait for a reply to then proceed with the conversation. I don't reply messages promptly, usually leave it to be replied when I have idle time to get in the context of it, it's not a productivity thing but just something that eases me.

Sometimes it will go days with just that message lingering "hi, how are you?" until I reply to then after a few hours/a day I finally get what she wanted to ask. It's just annoying, I've told her I much rather receive a "hey, how are you? I need some help with X" or whatever else it is the conversation to be. It's just easier and effective async communication (we live in different timezones).

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#82

Post by danaris »

smeej wrote: post #25

I've worked entirely remotely at companies of a variety of sizes since 2017 and didn't know people do this. Who are the people who do this? I don't mean to imply they don't exist. I genuinely want to know who they are. Like is it a generational thing? A role thing? Someone else's thing?

IME, it's partly a generational thing. People who grew up before instant, asynchronous digital communication became common seem more prone to treating chat conversations like a phone call or face-to-face conversation.

But I think a lot of it is also just individual and regional foibles. Some people feel very strongly that a conversation must begin with meaningless pleasantries or it's horrifically rude. Some people feel like it's rude to just ask you a question without first asking if that's OK—even if that's your role.

We could really do with a lot more explicit communication about communication in our culture, corporate and otherwise, setting boundaries and expectations up front.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#83

Post by danaris »

thom wrote: post #28

It’s funny because I do hate this behaviour at work. But also my youngest son is always saying “can I tell you something?” instead of just telling me and I find it adorable. Right up until the fifth or sixth repeat at bedtime, at which point the answer becomes “in the morning”. We should try not to begrudge people their human foibles. Your time is precious, but probably not in the ways that you think.

Asking to ask in person is in a different category. You are always immediately present and able to answer.

The whole point of this is that it is being done in an asynchronous medium, where the participants may never actually be online at the same time, but can still communicate just fine.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#84

Post by TrianguloY »

I've used that page in a retrospective. Didn't said who exactly it was to avoid issues, but I though it was obvious.

It didn't changed anything, I guess it's like others mention, it's something that some people have been done since childhood, and it would be very difficult for them to change that.

I now just simply ignore any "hi" or "hello" message as if I've never received them, and only reply actual questions.

To each their own.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#85

Post by ivorbuk »

Getting upset with people for disturbing your concentration whilst having an IM open is like moving to a house by the airport and complaining about the aircraft noise.

There are great tools on these things that help you prioritize and snooze notifications and ensure yourself some quiet time.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#86

Post by jonathanlydall »

reportgunner wrote: post #65
jonathanlydall wrote: post #23

I think it's a South African thing, but just about any call I receive from a number I wouldn't be expected to recognize, be it from cold calling spammers or legit service providers, starts with "Hello, how are you?" to which I respond with "Sorry, do I know you?". I wish call centres and companies would explain to their agents that it's not like approaching a customer who has walked into a physical shop where the cus…

By an insincere "how are you" they are extracting information on your current mood to engineer a proper communication protocol that is required to extract as much value for their personal objective as possible. I'm not disagreeing with you, just explaining their motivations to do it.

While it may be an intentional strategy for cold calling spammers, I doubt it because >99% of calls I receive do this, even from companies who I want to be calling me back, I think it's mostly a (pretty bad) cultural norm.

Also, for me it seems like a terrible strategy as I generally feel like responding to the greeting with: "Well, actually quite annoyed at this moment due to the appallingly poor way you've just started this call."

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#87

Post by [deleted] »

smeej wrote: post #54
Chris2048 wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

true, but the same is true for email. I use IM as more informal, (AND/)OR conversations with likely back-and-forth, that may require the other person to be present to be of use.

So ask them for a time they're available to do that. Don't just ping them and hope to get lucky. Even if they have time to send you a "Hi" back, that doesn't mean they have time to talk to you, so you're going to have to ask that anyway.

[deleted]

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#88

Post by gregoriol »

Chris2048 wrote: post #41
gregoriol wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Chat is natively async: you don't need to know if people are there to ask a question, they might answer at any point in the next few minutes or hours. If you do post just "hi" in a message, your question should come within seconds after.

true, but the same is true for email. I use IM as more informal, (AND/)OR conversations with likely back-and-forth, that may require the other person to be present to be of use.

The risk is that by the time they get back to the chat and answer your "Hi", you might be gone and so their "Hello" answer might be useless to sync you both. Examples others provide to request a timeframe to discuss the subject would be much more efficient

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#90

Post by endre »

lijok wrote: post #9

Even better when it's your superior sending a "Good morning" before proceeding to type something for 15 minutes, putting you into a state of elevated anxiety.

"Good morning" .. "we need to talk" .. .. and then proceeding to type something for 15 minutes.
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