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Letting go of the idea of keeping up

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Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#81

Post by castornest »

starkparker wrote: post #51

At one of my jobs the entire team read at least a book a week, often more and seemingly non-stop. Every standup started with every person talking about what we'd read that week. I'd never been a huge longform reader (more like a book a month, at best) and rarely had anything to contribute. Sometimes I'd say "our documentation" because that's what I'd been working on, and when I wasn't working _I wasn't reading_ becau…

^^^ I get night terrors thinking about gig in Boston fire city good sea food but wth is up with work environments that lure you in with free books and perks and it's like hell

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#82

Post by starbugs »

NalNezumi wrote: post #77
starbugs wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> So the conclusion is not that helpful. Isn't the conclusion from the article inherently transferable to what you described? (I was assuming a different topic as well.)

I'd say it is transferable only partially? But still not that helpful. It is helpful to people that are not aware of the source of the stress (often in the form of feeling overwhelmed) to be able to identify it. The article spend most of the words actually just describing this phenomenon. I think newly-graduated-in-tech-startup me in the past would've felt validated reading it. But the article falls short on any good…

> Not worrying about it might be close to just quitting (or silent quitting) and require a bit more mental change than "to not just worry about it". Even if that's the ultimate goal, the advice is as helpful as telling a homeless man how dreadful it is to not have a home, and then tell him to just buy a house.

I understand the sentiment and I know where you're coming from with this.

Still, if you want to be less stressed, the only solution that I have found is to just not stress over things. The moment you deeply believe that only stress will improve your life situation, you have made a decision for it to be so. This is the mechanism by which the stress then proliferates not only in you, but also to others. And you don't even get a guarantee that it's worth it. You may end up with only stress and all the goals you tried to achieve with it falling apart anyway. I don't think it's worth it. One needs to find a balance.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#83

Post by castornest »

anal_reactor wrote: post #78
starkparker wrote: post #51

At one of my jobs the entire team read at least a book a week, often more and seemingly non-stop. Every standup started with every person talking about what we'd read that week. I'd never been a huge longform reader (more like a book a month, at best) and rarely had anything to contribute. Sometimes I'd say "our documentation" because that's what I'd been working on, and when I wasn't working _I wasn't reading_ becau…

I can really understand how it feels from their perspective. Work feels much better when we do stuff that makes us connect as humans, and quarterly corporate events don't cut it. They created a culture where they did something fun together and had a conversation topic other than work, and there's this one guy who just refuses to participate and doesn't even try to find a way to include himself in the group. Sure, rea…

:(

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#84

Post by plank »

Novosell wrote: post #59
harrisi wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When you get in the habit of reading, it's remarkable how quickly you can do it. It's quite easy to read a book in a day when you read every day.

If you read short books of low complexity, aye. We need to start talking page count. Aint nobody reading 3 Robin Hobb books a week all year long.

I disagree. Reading lecture (! not literature or study books) I read 15 books each weekend in my teens, reading all science fiction and fantasy books in the town's library. And no, not all where 1000 pages long. But they weren't all shorter then 300. And yes, I regurarly went back during the week to catch an extra book or two.

I realize I might be a relatively fast reader, and this fast reading I only did in English (while my mother tongue is Dutch), but do not underestimate how quick some people can read?

I suppose I can concur in your 'low complexity' argument: I did not read Tolkien in my teens, and probably would have skipped all the poetry while reading.

Edit: Clarification: 15 books each weekend should be read as ==>> I traded my 15 books for 15 new books each weekend, reading them during the weekend and when not in school

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#85

Post by pdimitar »

Fairly first-world-problems kind of article but I get how the author's occupation might have easily led to that kind of stress, and I sympathize with them.

It spent too long just describing the FOMO and how it can creep up on your mental health though, for my taste at least.

It's true that the first step of fixing a problem is to identify it but I believe they could have just said "Even if it's your job to keep up, put limits in place because it will stress you to the point of ruining other aspects of your life".

So that article is kind of at the "beginner level in the area of how modern-day tech can stress you out", I suppose. Valuable for people who are stressed but haven't understood why just yet.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#86

Post by arvinsim »

anal_reactor wrote: post #78
starkparker wrote: post #51

At one of my jobs the entire team read at least a book a week, often more and seemingly non-stop. Every standup started with every person talking about what we'd read that week. I'd never been a huge longform reader (more like a book a month, at best) and rarely had anything to contribute. Sometimes I'd say "our documentation" because that's what I'd been working on, and when I wasn't working _I wasn't reading_ becau…

I can really understand how it feels from their perspective. Work feels much better when we do stuff that makes us connect as humans, and quarterly corporate events don't cut it. They created a culture where they did something fun together and had a conversation topic other than work, and there's this one guy who just refuses to participate and doesn't even try to find a way to include himself in the group. Sure, rea…

I do agree that work is much better if you are friends with your colleagues. That being said, one always need to be wary of bad actors that take advantage of people's openness.

There is a reason why the advice to not date or get too close to colleagues resonate with many people. There are just some workplaces that are toxic.

Sometimes, it is just better to delineate work from your personal life and interests.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#87

Post by arvinsim »

sandspar wrote: post #80
kortilla wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People who “read a book a week” aren’t absorbing anything useful for technical work anyway. When I think about the best (as identified by both myself and widely within the org) engineers I spent the last couple of decades working with, exactly 0 of them went through a book a week. Reading that much means you’re just skipping across some other author’s ideas. The person that reads a single article about some new algor…

Reading a book a week isn't difficult. If you read at a hobbyist reader's comfortable pace then you can finish a medium novel in five to seven hours. Hobbyist readers with full-time jobs who read on the side can read from one to six hours a day. Think of the average person's daily phone screentime.

Reading a book a week in a vacuum is easy.

Reading a book a week that competes with your responsibilities and other hobbies is a challenge.

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#88

Post by starbugs »

anal_reactor wrote: post #78
starkparker wrote: post #51

At one of my jobs the entire team read at least a book a week, often more and seemingly non-stop. Every standup started with every person talking about what we'd read that week. I'd never been a huge longform reader (more like a book a month, at best) and rarely had anything to contribute. Sometimes I'd say "our documentation" because that's what I'd been working on, and when I wasn't working _I wasn't reading_ becau…

I can really understand how it feels from their perspective. Work feels much better when we do stuff that makes us connect as humans, and quarterly corporate events don't cut it. They created a culture where they did something fun together and had a conversation topic other than work, and there's this one guy who just refuses to participate and doesn't even try to find a way to include himself in the group. Sure, rea…

> I can really understand how it feels from their perspective. Work feels much better when we do stuff that makes us connect as humans, and quarterly corporate events don't cut it. They created a culture where they did something fun together and had a conversation topic other than work, and there's this one guy who just refuses to participate and doesn't even try to find a way to include himself in the group.

Could also say the group failed to integrate a person who had different preferences for their free time and then bullied them when they weren't present at work?

I think both perspectives are quite extreme and miss the mark.

If reading a book a week in my free time was a work requirement, I would be out and quick. That sounds ridiculous!

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#89

Post by amonith »

anal_reactor wrote: post #78
starkparker wrote: post #51

At one of my jobs the entire team read at least a book a week, often more and seemingly non-stop. Every standup started with every person talking about what we'd read that week. I'd never been a huge longform reader (more like a book a month, at best) and rarely had anything to contribute. Sometimes I'd say "our documentation" because that's what I'd been working on, and when I wasn't working _I wasn't reading_ becau…

I can really understand how it feels from their perspective. Work feels much better when we do stuff that makes us connect as humans, and quarterly corporate events don't cut it. They created a culture where they did something fun together and had a conversation topic other than work, and there's this one guy who just refuses to participate and doesn't even try to find a way to include himself in the group. Sure, rea…

The complains come from how fake it is. Companies force "corporate fun" where there is none. They try to influence your personal life. They want you to dedicate your entire life to the company and they want you to treat coworkers as family while laying off underperformers of ever increasing KPIs. Sometimes not even underperformers.

THAT'S soullessness and that "mandatory" team-building exercise of book reading is actually an example of that because when layoffs come the company won't care about any of that.

It's much better to work for a company that allows you to do the job (preferably remote) and f off asap, enabling you to forge real relationships out of work in an area you actually plan to live.

God I love remote contracts...

Re: Letting go of the idea of keeping up

#90

Post by resource_waste »

NalNezumi wrote: post #48

When I saw the title I thought the article would be about the dreadful stress of keeping up with new tech or research .. But it's about spare time reading? Granted the problem seems similar, but only because the author is in the field of reading (working in books related profession). I'm not sure how much it can be applied to just hobby reading. Stress of keeping up with tech/research comes from a sense of profession…

Thanks for starting the discussion.

> Stress of keeping up with tech/research comes from a sense of professional obligations (you'll fall behind to your professional peers)

Okay, I'm literally terrified about not being in the top 1% or top 10% of everything I do. Scared.

I have built my life around me with people that perform at those levels, so everyone from my wife to my best friends may disappear if I'm not performing at those levels. Not to mention, look at nature: The best do what they can and the weak suffer. It is sad, but its reality.

So I work always, every success opens up 2 new problems to deal with.

I was happier drinking Stoic koolaid.

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