When I was first bullied in school it was scary and I was made to feel a victim by my parents and teachers – bullying is bad and therefore me being bullied made me a victim.
This got worse the more I tried to get other people to do something about it. I'd tell my parents and teachers and the more I asked for help the more they'd take sympathy and try to help, but as those who have been bullied are likely aware rarely does telling the teacher actually put an end to the bullying.
A few years later I change schools and made a friend who was a bit of a weirdo. People didn't like either of us so we got on. He had a completely different view on bullying to me though. When he got bullied he'd always fight back. He wouldn't always come out on top, but he always fought back. And then he started doing the same for me when I was bullied. And seeing him do this I started to fight back with him.
First the first time in years I felt like I was no longer powerless to bullies. Now it was something I could fix. Obviously I still didn't like being bullied but it became way easier to do with once I realised it was my problem to solve. The shame and helplessness was no longer there and I started to stand up for myself. Obviously sometimes there was nothing we could do. If a group of kids want to beat you up, they'll do it. But we'd always find a way to get them back later when they were on their own.
When I look back on my bullying now I view it as the single best thing that ever happened to me because it gave me the self confidence to take action and solve my own problems.
To this day people will say mean things to me from time to time, but I have a ridiculously thick to the point that I rarely ever react unless people start getting physically abusive. While I might still get nervous when someone is physically aggressive towards, I don't feel powerless or a victim anymore. The only thing that goes through my mind is, 1: how do I ensure my safety, and two: how do I get this person back for what they've done.
What I've seen among many of my friends who were also bullied though is a kinda low self esteem and low self worth which holds them back. They avoid social interaction. They avoid conflict. They struggle to deal with their emotions. Etc.. And honestly I think that's partly because they were taught that they were victims from a young age and they're subconsciously embraced that as they've grown up where I was lucky enough to break out of that cycle.
The other thing I'd say here is that I don't understand why we treat crimes committed by children so differently. If a child is physically abusing another individual they should be arrested. Not punishing bullying in my opinion is why it's so common. The teacher saying, "please stop punching James in the face or I'll call your mum" obviously isn't going to do anything. It's utterly absurd the level of abuse we allow kids to get away with.
I guess to summarise what I'm saying, I think the reason bullying is such a big issue is because kids are taught they're powerless victims whilst nothing is ever done to actually stop the bullying from continuing. My school used to tell me if someone is being physically abusive to me I should say, "please don't do that, I don't like it". What we should actually do is tell children they must either physically defend themselves (if they can) or get out of the situation. Then once they're safe they should immediately call the police to report the crime. If we want to stop bullying this is how we'd do it.