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Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

theatlantic.com

81–90 of 149 posts

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#81

Americans are scared of saying the wrong thing. Meanwhile I say things that would get me arrested in the uk and fired in the US, daily, and I have lots of friends and an active social life, in person, no phones, no problems. If you can't tell your friends what you think, social places become a second workplace, of course you don't wanna go

I'm not certain what you're euphemistically alluding to but I'm fairly confident I don't say it. I have a very active social life and don't need to... do that... whatever it is, nor do I worry particularly about whether or not I am saying this "wrong thing."

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#82
post #59

https://archive.is/39Wfh

Here's another version: https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/news/the-decline-of-hanging-... showing the graphs: "% of teens who say they go out with friends 2+ a week" which are essentially static throughout 1976-2010, then dive 20% over 2010-2020 after social media and front-facing cameras became common (and all before Covid). To the commenter below, the article is not "some Atlantic journalist's opinions", it's citing…

The phrase "...in the US" needs to be added any time someone talks about this. From what I can tell, Europeans have managed to maintain their social bonds even post-Covid and post-cell phones.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The article has data, would you care to comment on that or just speak in platitudes?

It cites a social science study that claims to provide data. Are popular press articles about social science studies considered credible again somehow?

A lot more credible than platitudes.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#84
post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When talking about statistics one can not credibly say, If you are interested in getting an educated answer, crunch the numbers yourself along with your own life experiences and come to your own conclusions…. Anecdotes do not constitute getting an educated answer.

If by educated you mean "Following the preachings of powers-that-be." , sure it's not an educated answer, it's a wrongthink answer. But if by educated you mean taking the numbers and crunching them yourself together with your life experiences, values, knowledge, and wisdom you've accrued, then whatever conclusion you draw is an educated answer. See also: "Educated guess." Personally, I've been burned far too many tim…

“Educated guess” does not mean what your statements imply you think it means.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#85

It's not just phones because the trends observed by Putnam preceded all of that. The changes that occured between the 1970s and before and the 1980s and after add up to be major watershed in American and more broadly western culture. You can blame neoliberalism but I think the real change is deeper than that. It's the shift from modernity to post-modernity. And post-modernity is an apt term because the name itself is…

You put your finger on something that I've been thinking about for a while. I'm curious if you have any thoughts on "what's next"?

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#86
post #50

Even though the direct effects of the pandemic have mostly disappeared, it still does not undo the years of staying at home that we have become accustomed and habituated to. Rapid inflation didn’t help, either. For those lucky enough to survive layoffs, they doubled down on work either dedicating more of their time or attempted to insulate their risk by becoming overemployed. Those who have time for friend outings ma…

All these “we” statements should be “me” statements. So many people are ready to take what they’re given, but you can opt out. Find in-person work. Throw out your phone. Live close to your friends. Drop in on your neighbors. Become a regular at the gym. Become a regular at the bar. Talk to people on the bus. Notice which flowers bloom in what order in the spring. If all you seek is comfort you’ll find it as you sit a…

> All these “we” statements should be “me” statements.

And all of your sentences ought to have "I think that" at the beginning; while reading OPs message as a sign of victimhood instead of a statement of fact gives you the opportunity to sharpen your sense of self against it, it gives the appearance of signaling more than it gives actionable advice. otoh, if the former was your goal, I misread intent.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#88
I feel like it’s a long term trend exacerbated by COVID. And not so much by COVID itself, but by closures of establishments where people would previously congregate. Two watering holes myself and a few of my friends frequented both fell victim to lockdown insanity (blue state, smh) and lack of government support in the interim. There’s nowhere to go anymore without first driving for 20 minutes, finding parking (nearly always insufficient), and paying twice as much. Between kids, wives, and jobs, hanging out simply became a logistical impossibility.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#89

This feels like the "be careful what you wish for" consequence of WFH logic. Yes, you can never leave your house and do everything via Zoom! After all, why commute to a pointless office when you could be at home meeting people online? If you start thinking this way, suddenly most interactions that can be done from home start to seem like a waste of time. The question I always ask WFH advocates is this: when was the l…

After almost 4 years of WFH, I totally despise it. I miss in-person collaboration and going to lunch with coworkers. I work for an all remote company, unfortunately. I’m thinking about renting a spot at a coworking space.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#90
post #50

Even though the direct effects of the pandemic have mostly disappeared, it still does not undo the years of staying at home that we have become accustomed and habituated to. Rapid inflation didn’t help, either. For those lucky enough to survive layoffs, they doubled down on work either dedicating more of their time or attempted to insulate their risk by becoming overemployed. Those who have time for friend outings ma…

All these “we” statements should be “me” statements. So many people are ready to take what they’re given, but you can opt out. Find in-person work. Throw out your phone. Live close to your friends. Drop in on your neighbors. Become a regular at the gym. Become a regular at the bar. Talk to people on the bus. Notice which flowers bloom in what order in the spring. If all you seek is comfort you’ll find it as you sit a…

That is the point being made, though: this shouldn’t be a “me” activity and it used to be an easy thing to maintain, not one you had to deliberately swim against the tide to make.
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