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Lately I've been using timers daily

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Re: Lately I've been using timers daily

#81

Post by nimbleplum40 »

Agree2468 wrote: post #65
akhosravian wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry to be that guy, but IME the fidgety & anxious feeling is almost always some need in one’s life that is being unmet. If you sit with that feeling it often becomes clear exactly what the source is. YMMV especially if you’ve experienced some serious trauma.

In my experience, sitting with the feelings pretty reliably leads to panic spiraling. I just don't think my brain is as capable of pulling back a level as yours seems to be. And I'm not sure how to change that.

Not an endorsement, but you could look into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Similar to CBT but a lot of it centers around learning to notice and accept negative feelings without spiraling. Rather than trying to avoid the thoughts, it’s about accepting them and still taking positive _action_ regardless.

Re: Lately I've been using timers daily

#82

Post by rubicon33 »

akhosravian wrote: post #44
Swizec wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I need to be very tired to just stare out the window. Get fidgety and somehow anxious. But a motorcycle ride or a nice drive? Even doing the dishes? Now we’re talking! The mind and body are occupied in a mostly autonomus task so the rest of your brain can process and digest. It’s great. Dare I say I almost enjoy doing chores now. Another great option for me is boxing. For those 3 minutes in the ring, you are _not_ th…

Sorry to be that guy, but IME the fidgety & anxious feeling is almost always some need in one’s life that is being unmet. If you sit with that feeling it often becomes clear exactly what the source is. YMMV especially if you’ve experienced some serious trauma.

I’m, yea… it is completely clear what the “source” is.

I need to MOVE. I was not made to sit in silence and do nothing.

I was born to move, physically. After a long run, some weights, etc… I can sit and focus or be in silence.

To me the ability to sit in silence is just a test to see if you’re in a settled state.

Re: Lately I've been using timers daily

#84

Post by alberth »

rpozarickij wrote: post #78
codyb wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know a few people who seem to always be in negative moods... and when I learn about them, it appears, that basically every waking moment of their lives, there is _some_ form of... signal just being beamed directly into their brain. Whether it's all day long with headphones on playing music, or podcasts, or TV. It's bonkers to me. I resolve so many of my own issues just... staring out the window, or staring at the c…

> I mostly sit with my noise cancelling headphones on, with no sound. And lately, I'm just moving towards not having them on at all when I'm not in meetings. I find it very difficult to sit in complete silence. It's as if the silence exerts some pressure on me. But I've recently discovered brown noise and it works wonderfully well for me. It has become my go to sound/noise whenever I'm doing something that requires t…

> I find it very difficult to sit in complete silence.

That's not what I'm suggesting.

What I'm suggesting is, when you drive - just don't have any music on. Just drive.

When you're showering, don't play a podcast - just shower.

When you're doing dishes, just do dishes quietly.

It's not dedicated quiet time. It's "don't fill in all parts of your day with information".

Re: Lately I've been using timers daily

#85

Post by TheCapn »

alberth wrote: post #84
rpozarickij wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I mostly sit with my noise cancelling headphones on, with no sound. And lately, I'm just moving towards not having them on at all when I'm not in meetings. I find it very difficult to sit in complete silence. It's as if the silence exerts some pressure on me. But I've recently discovered brown noise and it works wonderfully well for me. It has become my go to sound/noise whenever I'm doing something that requires t…

> I find it very difficult to sit in complete silence. That's not what I'm suggesting. What I'm suggesting is, when you drive - just don't have any music on. Just drive. When you're showering, don't play a podcast - just shower. When you're doing dishes, just do dishes quietly. It's not dedicated quiet time. It's "don't fill in all parts of your day with information".

I agree, to an extent.

I find that if I need to be "attentive" then having something going on helps. For me it is podcasts while driving. Having nothing noise my mind tends to wander which isn't always ideal because my focus should still be on the road despite engaging my brain with passive knowledge.

But for the rest of your comments? I agree wholeheartedly. I used to have the headphones in walking dogs, listening to podcasts, but I've stopped doing that and find the time outside far more relaxing, because that is time I should let my mind wander and venture. At work? Music to fill the voids, but I mute it if I'm trying to roll over some sort of problem in my head. Other strategies such as leaving the desk or using physical mediums (writing / sketching problems in notebooks) help too, but that's not really where we're at in this discussion.

Ultimately I think people need to just be aware that how they troubleshoot and relax won't be the same as another's. But it takes discomfort and experimentation to find what works for you too. Try podcasts where you would use music. Try the opposite. Try nothing where you would try something. Find what helps, and always be willing to re-test with new/old atmospheres.

Re: Lately I've been using timers daily

#86

Post by glennonymous »

codyb wrote: post #30
alberth wrote: post #19

Stop listening to podcasts. Enjoy the quiet. I use to fill up my day with listening to podcasts during all non-work time (e.g. driving in the car, exercising, even showering). It overloads your brain if it's having to process info during every waking moment. You brain just needs quiet time to think, relax and explore. I'm way more relaxed, creative and find unique solutions to problems now, than before.

I know a few people who seem to always be in negative moods... and when I learn about them, it appears, that basically every waking moment of their lives, there is _some_ form of... signal just being beamed directly into their brain. Whether it's all day long with headphones on playing music, or podcasts, or TV. It's bonkers to me. I resolve so many of my own issues just... staring out the window, or staring at the c…

This is the exact opposite of my experience. As a chronically depressed person, my inner voice is pretty much my enemy. I listen to podcasts to drown it out. I mostly listen to podcasts that soothe me, that I have no need to listen to every word that’s said. This works even when I listen to a podcast with hosts’ banter I enjoy on such a low volume I can’t follow what’s being said, at all. I do this quite often, in fact. I listen to podcasts, when I’m not working, probably 75% of the time. I estimate it’s improved my mood by a similar percentage.

Re: Lately I've been using timers daily

#89

Post by captainkrtek »

This reminded me of this book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9778945-the-shallows

"The Shallows" by Nicholas Carr, I found it an interesting read, "As he describes how human thought has been shaped through the centuries by “tools of the mind”—from the alphabet to maps, to the printing press, the clock, and the computer"

Re: Lately I've been using timers daily

#90

Post by satysin »

alberth wrote: post #19

Stop listening to podcasts. Enjoy the quiet. I use to fill up my day with listening to podcasts during all non-work time (e.g. driving in the car, exercising, even showering). It overloads your brain if it's having to process info during every waking moment. You brain just needs quiet time to think, relax and explore. I'm way more relaxed, creative and find unique solutions to problems now, than before.

100% agree. I used to have podcasts or an audiobook on to listen to while I was doing 'boring' tasks but I found it was just causing my brain to work overtime and drained me of mental energy so quickly.

Now I just enjoy the sound of silence. Sometimes I may put on some music quietly to drown out another background noise but always something I know well so that my brain knows it and doesn't spend time or energy processing it for the 1000th time. I've found it can be any music providing I know it well enough.

I actually listen to fewer podcasts now because of it but I am much happier about that as I seriously began to worry about how my brain needed constant stimulation.

I was unable to just be still in silence.

I worry a lot of us are just overloading our brains with constant stimulation leading to faster burnout and mental health issues but that is a conversation for another day!

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