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Dancing is stupid

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Re: Dancing is stupid

#81

Post by jayski »

throw_pm23 wrote: post #23
Trasmatta wrote: post #19

There's something about dancing that people get really weird about if you don't want to participate. As if it's their god given duty to convince you that, no, you really DO like dancing, and you'll have a great time if you just loosen up and have fun. I wish people would just respect "no thank you" and stop trying to push people to do something they clearly don't want. As is, I have to avoid events with dancing. And…

What about those who didn't want at first, then tried it after some nudging, and ended up enjoying it?

What about those who dance like Elaine Benes?

I'm just not made for dancing. I suck at it, and even if I "loosen up" I'm still awful.

It's best for all if I just sit in the corner with my phone reading hackernews. Trust me.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#82

Post by darkerside »

jayski wrote: post #81
throw_pm23 wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What about those who didn't want at first, then tried it after some nudging, and ended up enjoying it?

What about those who dance like Elaine Benes? I'm just not made for dancing. I suck at it, and even if I "loosen up" I'm still awful. It's best for all if I just sit in the corner with my phone reading hackernews. Trust me.

Dancing is interpersonal, but not for Elaine. Look at how people enjoy your dancing and react to it. That's part of it.

Our just dance like nobody's watching. Elaine sure does.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#83

Post by darkerside »

Trasmatta wrote: post #52
hcks wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Refusing to dance at an event where people are is literally an anti-social act. Please note that I am NOT making a moral judgement whether or not you should always act in a pro-social way.

This is exactly what I mean. What other activities to people start claiming "you are being anti social" because you don't participate? Why do people treat dance as if it's a sacred act that everyone must participate in? Respect people's choices. Let people be adults who have the right to choose.

By that definition, there are no sacred acts that everybody must participate in. Why do we even have that word or phrase? Because we know there are some things out is antisocial not to do. You don't have to do them, but yes, you will be judged for not participating.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#85

Post by kubb »

serverholic wrote: post #40
kubb wrote: post #8

It's common for poorly adjusted people to develop a sense of superiority as a defence mechanism.

Or perhaps people are different and they find themselves pressured and bullied by “normal” people.

It's ok to be different, but thinking your better is often unhealthy and a symptom of trauma.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#86

Post by darkerside »

Trasmatta wrote: post #61
throwaway22032 wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you go to an event in which most people do X and you refuse to do X then you're marking yourself as an outsider, unsurprisingly people find this suspicious/odd. You could apply it to anything. If I went along to a LAN party or an arcade and then said "I don't play video games" people would think I had a stick up my arse and they'd be right. If you really don't enjoy it then it's normal to not go along to those sor…

This comparison doesn't make sense. Dancing is present at many events that you would have legitimate reasons to want to attend for reasons other than dance. That's not really the case for a LAN party or an arcade. > If you really don't enjoy it then it's normal to not go along to those sort of events I guess I'll just never go to a wedding again, or a live music event, or a house party, or any of the other random eve…

People don't usually drag you to dance if you're in animated conversation with another. They do it when when you seem lonely and bored. Trying to get you to engage with the people around you.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#87

Post by bananarchist »

Cabronavirus wrote: post #51
throw_pm23 wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What about those who didn't want at first, then tried it after some nudging, and ended up enjoying it?

[flagged]

Tbh I love when people drag me into something I’m reluctant to get involved in When it’s time to dance sometimes I feign disinterest or shyness, just for the attention

Re: Dancing is stupid

#88

Post by Trasmatta »

darkerside wrote: post #83
Trasmatta wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is exactly what I mean. What other activities to people start claiming "you are being anti social" because you don't participate? Why do people treat dance as if it's a sacred act that everyone must participate in? Respect people's choices. Let people be adults who have the right to choose.

By that definition, there are no sacred acts that everybody must participate in. Why do we even have that word or phrase? Because we know there are some things out is antisocial not to do. You don't have to do them, but yes, you will be judged for not participating.

> there are no sacred acts that everybody must participate in

I mean, I would say this is trivially true?

> You don't have to do them, but yes, you will be judged for not participating.

Why do you deserve to be judged for not dancing, but not for something like joining an 8 player Mario Kart race?

Re: Dancing is stupid

#89

Post by darkerside »

maleldil wrote: post #69
hcks wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, and it is sad to see people thinking that something as universal as dancing (that literally exist in every culture in some form) is "not for them". It sadly implies that this person went through bullying and rejection.

Why is it so difficult for you to accept that others don't share your taste? I've never been into dancing but decided to take some classes with friends because that sounded fun, and realised that I truly don't like dancing. It has nothing to do with rejection. This claim that "you poor thing, if you hadn't been rejected you'd see how good this is" sounds really condescending.

What kind of dancing? Seems like not liking music, or not liking sex, or not liking outdoor settings. It's really hard to tell if you just haven't found the one that speaks to you yet. Maybe those two things are actually indistinguishable.

Re: Dancing is stupid

#90

Post by crazygringo »

Trasmatta wrote: post #19

There's something about dancing that people get really weird about if you don't want to participate. As if it's their god given duty to convince you that, no, you really DO like dancing, and you'll have a great time if you just loosen up and have fun. I wish people would just respect "no thank you" and stop trying to push people to do something they clearly don't want. As is, I have to avoid events with dancing. And…

A lot of people genuinely feel super self-conscious about dancing and do need that convincing to give themselves permission to dance. And once they do, they love it. A lot of people need to also have a couple drinks to loosen up enough to enjoy it as well. I was in both of these categories for a looong time.

So it's not a "god given duty to convince", it's just that it's a genuine act of friendship and support that a lot of people need. The thing is, unless you know somebody incredibly well, there's really no way to tell who needs the convincing and then will enjoy it, and who doesn't and won't enjoy dancing even after they're convinced.

So people try to convince you for a bit, and if you still refuse, then they leave you alone. It seems like a workable compromise. Same as trying to invite you to a party three times and then giving up when you say you're really not coming.

So I agree it's annoying when you really don't want to do something. But I hope you can understand that it is other people genuinely trying to be helpful, in a way that is often helpful for others. Sometimes people really do need help to overcome shyness, even when they already want to.

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