Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Chris Seaton has died

twitter.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

81–90 of 213 posts

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#81

Post by WhackyIdeas »

brigandish wrote: post #34
WhackyIdeas wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But if you have been feeling that way for many years, with non-stop feelings of dread, it’s hard to see things getting any better.

Lack of hope is the real killer, that's why it's so important to give a depressed person hope. Not optimism, hope.

You can’t give a depressed person hope though. And even if you could box hope up, how would you make it last? At the end of the day, depression is a chemical imbalance and hope isn’t going realistically fix that - maybe that depression is a result of brain injury, like a nasty bump on the head that has permanently damaged the way the brain works… Depression is a long way off being solved.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#82

Post by ngd »

When I was 15 I had to move high school after the death of my mother. I started to socialise at school and joined the investment club. It was a tough time for me and I desperately wanted to make friends and fit in. I wasn’t really into investing but a young man by the name of Chris Seaton was building their website and I loved computers so I wanted to help. Chris taught me how to program, first HTML websites, then PHP based apps, then C# and VBA native apps. Im pretty sure Chris invented the password manager before it was a thing too.

I spent the next few years at high school and sixth form trying to sit near Chris in lessons and talking to him on MSN Messenger and ICQ incessantly about programming, he taught me a lot and set me on a path to choosing computer science as my degree, I just copied him to be honest.

I’ll miss you Chris

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#83

Post by jacquesm »

petercooper wrote: post #64
orra wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a shock, yes, but worth knowing it's a common one. “They can't be dead: I just spoke to them” is a common response to death. Unfortunately, death can be rather sudden.

I find the statistics surrounding death to be quite sobering. I was at an annual event with 1000 other people and for whatever reason got to wondering if everyone would return the next year. Being a nerd, some calculations occurred and it turned out that would be pretty much impossible as at least a few attendees would die (of any cause) before then. It's rather stoic but makes me appreciate things a little more. The…

The Ruby community also seems to attract a lot of fantastic people. I'm not a part of it and never have been but from the outside looking in it looks like one of the most welcoming eco-systems out there.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#84

Post by silisili »

Jensson wrote: post #80
silisili wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with this. Someone reaching out because they have a problem or need someone to talk to is perfectly welcomed. Someone who does so daily becomes a big f'ing drag on your life, pardon the expression. My father did that to us kids after divorce, and our relationship has never been the same. (For those curious, he didn't hurt himself, just became an angry, sad, drunk yearslong drag on us all).

Quoted post unavailable.

I'd have preferred he not leave drunken angry voicemails every time I didn't answer the phone, and sought professional help. Which he did, eventually, but after 2 years of verbal abuse and telling us we were dead to him.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#85

Post by entropicdrifter »

theGnuMe wrote: post #52
layer8 wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If he indeed committed suicide out of depression, I would imagine that maybe he realized after years of relative successes that nothing, no achievement, no appreciation/gratitude by others, will cure his depression. At least that wouldn’t be an uncommon pattern for high-intellect people with severe depression.

This is very common actually. Phil Stutz (a famous psychiatrist) calls it the Snapshot. Basically the Snapshot is the misbelief that if we achieve certain things we will be happy. It's a form of wishful thinking. Instead you have to focus on and enjoy the journey because basic reality is pain, uncertainty and constant work. There's a Netflix documentary on Stutz (called "Stutz") with Jonah Hill that is quite good alt…

As someone who suffers dysthymia and occasional major depression on top of it, I'll never stop being grateful that I figured this out early on in life.

When I was 11, I got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do. A couple years after that point I grew disillusioned with continuing to practice martial arts altogether because I realized that the achievement didn't make me happy. In some ways, it made my depression worse at the time and it just took me a few years to figure that out.

Music has consistently sustained me since then. It's both an endless journey of self improvement and an activity that's possible to purely enjoy in the moment. It takes so much of your brain at once to perform music that you literally cannot be stuck in your head with your own thoughts, instead you reach a state of mind where there is no ego whatsoever, just total flow-state focus and the experience of the present.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#86

Post by starkd »

WhackyIdeas wrote: post #74
WhackyIdeas wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are moments of joy and content, but for myself I always personally know that hell is just over the hill. Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy things. But I suppose there comes a time when some people just get too tired of it all. I also personally believe the act of taking your own life is utterly courageous… every cell in our body’s are designed to want to live. Pushing fast fear of the ultimate unknown is something els…

Being downvoted for these points is a clear (and uncomfortable for mentally healthy people to digest) example of why depressed people often feel it’s pointless to speak and be honest about their thoughts. Because they feel no one wants to hear them.

There is a fine line between being honest with your thoughts and indulging in unhelpful solutions as anything other than unhelpful. Life is not about living on the terms you choose. You inherit the terms under which you are to live. Rejecting those terms is indeed cowardly. Being able to adapt is what takes courage. (And I say this with full awareness of my own limitations as well.)

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#87

Post by whats_a_quasar »

adamc wrote: post #61
leetrout wrote: post #7

Please talk to someone if you are feeling hopeless. U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-TALK (8255) National Suicide Helpline UK 0800 689 5652 His HN profile was also just his name https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=chrisseaton I wish the best for his family and friends over the next few months. This will be a tough holiday season for them. You never know what is going on in someone's life and no clue…

Having been on the other end of it... the reality is harsh. People say they want to know, but in fact... they mostly don't. The reality of it is hard to deal with. It can go on and on. People have a lot of misconceptions, sometimes for good reasons (it makes life easier to endure). It's a lot like the pushback on #metoo or #blacklivesmatter or . They want to make it your fault because then its not something they have…

This was definitely my experience. It takes so long and so much effort to get out of a deep depression that it strains everyone around you.

If anyone's gone through or is going through something similar, I highly recommend "The Noonday Demon." It captures much of the subjective experience of someone going through a depression, and how weird and frustrating the experience can be for everyone involved. https://www.amazon.com/Noonday-Demon-Atlas-Depression/dp/150...

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#88

Post by whats_a_quasar »

xtracto wrote: post #42
schneems wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had lunch with him on Wednesday and wish I said more. I also worry about the hidden pressures of praise. A overly critical inner life can interpret it as “I like you as long as you are useful” which is of course not the truth. I have appreciation for the creators in my life, even when they no longer create.

>I like you as long as you are useful” which is of course not the truth. I think that's the problem with depression disease: no matter what most people tell you, your brain will find a way to use it to dig the hole deeper. My wife has battled with minor depression and anxiety her whole life. I learned that more than trying to say things to cheer her up in the moment, i was more useful by looking for treatment. It's a…

This is a point that is often missed in the conversation about depression. In the middle of a major depression, literally nothing you can say to the person will cheer them up. The best you can do is be near them, express love, and try to help them maintain sleep/eating/exercise and therapy.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#89

Post by munificent »

swader999 wrote: post #50
kshahkshah wrote: post #20

My god this is awful. He was brilliant, accomplished, and kind. A few days ago he announced his 'permanent rest' ( https://twitter.com/ChrisGSeaton/status/1599108759183577088 ). I'd thought it meant from the Ruby community and that the replies asking if he needed help were reading too much into the wording.

The outpouring of love in the replies on that thread. It is tough to comprehend how that wasn't enough to prevent this.

Like many mental illnesses, depression interferes with your perceptions. It's not that that love "wasn't enough", it's that a person deep in depression can't even accurately see or feel that love.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#90

Post by WhackyIdeas »

starkd wrote: post #86
WhackyIdeas wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being downvoted for these points is a clear (and uncomfortable for mentally healthy people to digest) example of why depressed people often feel it’s pointless to speak and be honest about their thoughts. Because they feel no one wants to hear them.

There is a fine line between being honest with your thoughts and indulging in unhelpful solutions as anything other than unhelpful. Life is not about living on the terms you choose. You inherit the terms under which you are to live. Rejecting those terms is indeed cowardly. Being able to adapt is what takes courage. (And I say this with full awareness of my own limitations as well.)

What solutions are you referring to? I didn’t give any solutions, did I?
Post reply on HN