81–90 of 117 posts
Cleanup your room. Cleanup your appearance (hair, beard, cloths, etc). Taking care of yourself reaffirms to your brain that you value yourself, and will get you moving again in the right direction. If I may "guess" what's going on: You are becoming a father but you weren't planning on it, or the mother is not the right person for you, but you feel obligated and so you have no choice? First of all, you always have a c…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Becoming a father should be able to help with that. Gotta admit, on the first read I missed OP's announcement that he's about to become father already. Just for the record, do not have a child as an attempt to escape depression :)
I disagree. Having a fulfilling life in service to others and your family drives away depression.
If you are the mother you're more likely to experience postpartum depression. Even fathers experience depression. I have had to work full time, do household chores on top of keeping the baby happy, who didn't sleep well at all at night and even now does not. You're going to miss deadlines, fail to meet expectations, do lousy job of your assignments. All of that will or will not affect you, physically and/or mentally.
Cleanup your room. Cleanup your appearance (hair, beard, cloths, etc). Taking care of yourself reaffirms to your brain that you value yourself, and will get you moving again in the right direction. If I may "guess" what's going on: You are becoming a father but you weren't planning on it, or the mother is not the right person for you, but you feel obligated and so you have no choice? First of all, you always have a c…
Make your bed as soon as you get up. (To add to your first sentence)
I mean, unless you mean the process of putting on clean sheets. Obviously, I do that when I wash them (which also obviously isn't every day).
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Make your bed as soon as you get up. (To add to your first sentence)
Why on earth would I ever "make" a bed. The only reason I ever do it is if guests are coming over, and on their bed. I mean, unless you mean the process of putting on clean sheets. Obviously, I do that when I wash them (which also obviously isn't every day).
Reasons that you'd want to do this: hygiene (air doesn't get where you sleep - both a good and bad thing), and design (looks as it should).
Here's my advice from my personal struggles, maybe it resonates: You need a North Star, something that helps drive the decisions you make. I found my North Star by realizing that similar to how I had my father's tendencies, my kid would have mine.
I didn't want my impression on my kid to be my depression and lack of enjoyment for my life, which meant getting up, exercising, being compassionate, and doing what I loved.
Waking up every day saying "Let's be a better father for little HakuG" is all I needed. I don't even have a kid yet, but it still drives a large majority of my decisions.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why on earth would I ever "make" a bed. The only reason I ever do it is if guests are coming over, and on their bed. I mean, unless you mean the process of putting on clean sheets. Obviously, I do that when I wash them (which also obviously isn't every day).
Make a bed means to move the duvet/top sheet so it covers the whole bed. Reasons that you'd want to do this: hygiene (air doesn't get where you sleep - both a good and bad thing), and design (looks as it should).
Meanwhile, design is a circular argument. It only "looks as it should" if you think you should make the bed.
Show up daily, even in a small way. BJ Fogg's Tiny Habits stuff goes over this exhaustively, but basically it's better to go to the gym to do 1 minute of exercise than to not go at all, as it's more about building your identity than doing the actual thing effectively.
You should consider changing your relationship with your regret, so you can use it as this "pointy stick to motivate yourself" instead of this dull, directionless pain that pervades your life. This book is great [0].
Ask yourself "would I regret NOT doing this?" often. Would you regret not looking at this Orange Website, even if you feel the urge? Keep looking at your life through this lens to understand what you'll regret, and steer your ship accordingly.