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Tell HN: I'm nervous and don't know where else to go

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Re: Tell HN: I'm nervous and don't know where else to go

#81

Post by MrWiffles »

Hey buddy, first off, know that you're not alone and we've all been there at some point. You're going to get through this one way or another!

Two key little insights that have helped me through many a tough time in life and my career have nothing to do with technology but have made all the difference time and again. A few short stories...

When I was 16 I had a part time after school job at a local TV station that did live broadcasts. At one point I had a huge amount of pressure placed on my (very capable) shoulders - problem is, I didn't recognize the "very capable" part. Somebody pulled me aside one day, an older, wiser fella, and told me to stick to two rules:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff. 2. EVERYTHING is small stuff.

---

All my life everybody always told me I wasn't confident enough. "You just need to be more confident!" they'd say. But what the hell does that mean? What IS confidence, anyway? Is it the way you act? The way you walk, talk, dress? Your tone of voice? You can't fake it of course, so what does it MEAN to "be confident"? How do you just...BE that? It's not a damn light switch, and yet nobody could really explain that to me.

After decades of banging my head against the wall in futility, somewhere along the way (I can't remember where) I heard or read...something...that finally summed it up: confidence means TRUSTING YOURSELF. Trusting not only in your intent, your "goodness" as a person, but in your COMPETENCE, your ABILITY TO ADAPT AND OVERCOME. That you can think on your feet, that no matter what comes your way, that you'll survive, you'll adapt, you'll come out on top, that above all, YOU GOT THIS.

---

Come Monday, I guarantee you something unexpected is going to happen. An error is going to pop up, authentication is going to get denied, the proverbial shit will hit the fan.

Plan for that. Expect that.

Then realize: this is not the first time you've faced adversity, and you've won before. You can do it on Monday, too.

Follow rules one and two above, because believe me, YOU'VE GOT THIS if you just TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO ADAPT AND OVERCOME. If you do that, it really WILL be small stuff, because you can handle it and a hell of a lot more! Be smart - have a list of contacts at Epicor and internally handy for escalating issues ahead of time, have some links to kb documents available, manuals, etc., maybe some tools/downloads on a USB stick or something - be prepared, not arrogant of course - but stay focused on solving the problem. Any time you're feeling fear, redirect your mind to finding another solution for the problems you might face - find another potential problem and a prepare another solution for it ahead of time (to the extent you can).

Above all, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

You got this!

Re: Tell HN: I'm nervous and don't know where else to go

#82

Post by kelnos »

Damogran6 wrote: post #55
orzig wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Remember that “officially asking for help” is a very valid step to take. If it all blows up, you can at least point to the several unanswered requests that you sent off to various people. If they reply, and you are able to help it not blow up, you can all share some credit! If you somehow end up getting blamed for it anyway, I guarantee this is not a company you want to work for even as an intern. Find the one or two…

Asking for help also shows you're a team player that can reach out to get help in areas you're not an expert in. This is a good pattern to develop and can help you in the future.

And to echo/rephrase the grandparent's words, if asking for help is the kind of thing that people in this company would look down on you for, then this is absolutely not the kind of company you want to work for... not just "even" as an intern, but especially as an intern. Interns are supposed to have questions!

Re: Tell HN: I'm nervous and don't know where else to go

#83

Post by codpiece »

I once had to attend a parked but running helicopter in a wind storm while the pilot went the bathroom. He said "If anything goes wrong, hit the lit up button." Do you know how many lit buttons there are on a running helicopter?

People early in their career tend to take the weight of the world on their shoulders. You, as an intern are the very definition of a person early in their career. You are not responsible for the outcome of your boss's decision. You are responsible for your communication if something goes wrong. Keep a work log.

Communicate often and widely. Ask for help early. Get tech support on the line. Document your work log and keep your written communications.

You can do this. Document, communicate, breathe deep and realize you're not getting paid to be the throat to choke if something goes wrong.

Re: Tell HN: I'm nervous and don't know where else to go

#84

Post by kypro »

How did this situation even arise?

I'm not suggesting this is your fault, but why didn't you ask for the process before your boss left if you weren't clear?

If I were to guess, I suspect this update is either not as important as you think it is - hence the lack of process or guidance from your boss. If it really is as important as you think then this isn't your fault. Your boss has responsibility to ensure there are processes in place to ensure this kind of stuff doesn't happen... If a junior dev is working under me and they merge some crappy code that blows up then that's my fault for not reviewing the code and it's also my problem to fix.

All you can do is your best. Send an email to your boss to confirm if you understand the process. If you don't hear back from him then ask around and see if anyone else can help you. Like I say, you can only do your best. If that's not good enough then that's not your problem.

Re: Tell HN: I'm nervous and don't know where else to go

#85

Post by noduerme »

mjgoeke wrote: post #74
throw_away_add2 wrote: post #21

Yes, calm down. I wish someone could have told me that when I was an intern. Many times. If the upgrade blows up, it won't be your fault because you're just an intern. There are multiple people making way more money than you are who are responsible for running the company. If those people leave an intern in charge of a mission-critical system and it breaks, it's their fault. If you do end up in the soup and you're ab…

This. And this is true for reasons I didn't understand when I was soley technical and younger. At the end of the day people - _teams_ - want people they can trust in. That doesn't mean you handle things flawlessly, or that your boss can necessarily "set it and forget it" with you. Being trustworthy and responsible means acting out of good intent. Take a breath, keep your head on straight, look at the slightly bigger…

>> Being trustworthy and responsible means acting out of good intent.

This is a great comment. It reveals the truth about how we grow into roles of higher and higher responsibility. I believe I was on the lucky side, though, that most of my bosses understood this about me. Part of it actually is the fact that they know you will take the world on your shoulders in their absence if the situation demands it. It's a test. If it goes off the rails, they're basically saying they can afford it and they don't care, but they want to know who stayed up all night trying to fix it. It sounds paradoxical and maybe jaded, but it's actually better for OP if the upgrade breaks shit all over the place and he's sleeping under a table 36 hours later responsible for managing the failure state. If everything goes off without a hitch, the boss won't even notice. That said, hope for the best, plan for the worst and go in with the best of intentions - but just like if you're an honorable person, you'd never take credit for something you didn't do, you should never take blame for something you warned people about.

People who see ahead and are capable to intervene and mitigate other people's disasters are literally priceless, and OP will go far just by having the attitude of foreseeing and managing crises created by other people's lack of engagement or imagination. This is also the origin story of every superhero and mob boss.

Re: Tell HN: I'm nervous and don't know where else to go

#86

Post by nde »

Hello db, I’m sorry you were put in this uncomfortable situation. Ideally, you would have received all the documentation, resources and training necessary to mitigate your feelings of stress. Unfortunately, the reality in our industry is that you’ll often find yourself in these uncomfortable situations. Good news is that you will grow from them.

The propensity to quickly learn and adapt to new situations is a critical skill in IT. Knowing when to apply your skills, however, is also critical. I advise you hone these skill.

Regarding your situation, you have a few options:

1. You can say “No”. It took me a really long time to realize that “No” is a valid (and often necessary) answer. If you don’t feel comfortable or able to take on this task, don’t. You wouldn’t pour gasoline on a forrest fire. Sometimes you are the gasoline and need to know when to say no.

2. As others have pointed out, candidly communicate your feelings around being uncomfortable but willing to take the time to learn. This will show that you are honest, can recognize your short-comings, but are also willing to grow.

3. You can smile, act confident and pray that nothing will go wrong. If things go well, either you’ll be a hero or no one will notice, but if things go wrong… people will notice. There’s a lot of comments here suggesting that being an intern is a get out jail free card… I don’t think it is. Yes, people more senior to you should know better; often they don’t, but you should (if you recognize it) know better and communicate.

Like others, I would recommend documenting your communications with your boss. If they happen over a call or in person, take notes during or promptly after the call.

Ultimately, I think there’s a difference between doing something you “think” you can do and it going wrong, and doing something you’re not comfortable doing and it going wrong.

Best of luck!

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