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New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

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Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#81

Post by yieldcrv »

IncRnd wrote: post #71

I've gone through a divorce that went through the courts. I've also gone through mediation that was required by that court. For unrelated matters, I've gone through mediation, court proceedings, expert witness testimony, etc. My first advice is to never go through a court proceeding when it can be avoided. My second advice is to speak to a lawyer - early - to preserve your rights and those of your children. That's no…

> speak to a lawyer - early - to preserve your rights and those of your children

also, do this years before a relationship so you set up your finances and asset structures before all of this starts getting built in a marriage!

pre-emptive legal help is orders of magnitude more powerful than reactive legal help

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#82

Post by pyuser583 »

cafard wrote: post #15

In one of his books, Gerald Weinberg said that his sister decided that it was time to give up divorce work when one of her clients (or the client's adversary) produced a list of goods for partition including a partly used container of dish soap under the sink. And my brother (a lawyer) told me of an attorney in the Mountain West who gave up divorce work as too stressful and went on to defending clients on capital cha…

I just watched friends divorce. They brought a lot of unnecessary suffering in themselves. They didn’t want an app.

The number one thing to know about divorce with kids is that you lose control. They couldn’t stand that. The idea that the other person was 100% in charge of the kids.

They began making extremely vague allegations of how the other parent does unspecified “bad things” that need to be “reported.”

They eventually ended up believing their own propaganda and are convinced the other parent is abusing the kids on their days.

It’s a total mess.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#83

Post by notch656a »

optimiz3 wrote: post #44

Separately, as advice to potential couples: get a pre-nup. Resolves any awkward beliefs about money up front. Discloses assets and liabilities so no financial skeletons in the closet. Establishes who has what before the nuptials and frankly fast forwards your relationship to see if it is strong enough to handle a "difficult" conversation and negotiation. Lets you establish what claims your spouse will have to your fu…

I mean this is a decent point, but I have to point out the following:

>Lets you establish what claims your spouse will have to your future earnings

A pre-nup can't really cover this base. For the typical working class folk the way future earnings after divorce are extracted are through child support, which in its current incarnation functions as back-door alimony and can't be cancelled through a pre-nup.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#84

Post by IncRnd »

SamoyedFurFluff wrote: post #78
IncRnd wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I absolutely agree. Nobody goes into a divorce thinking they want it to take a long time. Just get it over with, and keep as much trust as possible. That goes double when children are involved. It's not the kids' fault their parents are getting divorced, but they are the ones most impacted.

I would like to propose a caveat: some people go into a divorce with the intention to ruin the other person. This can make divorces long and ugly, because the purpose isn’t to get it over with but to right some perceived injustice by punishment.

Thank you. That's a good point.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#85

Post by verandaguy »

I once worked for a Candian startup whose main product was (at least initially) an app that did the same thing. Slick UI, PDF parsing, the whole thing was fairly polished, and if the press releases were to be believed, our product had captured something like 10% of the province's whole amicable divorce market.

Unfortunately, the product ended up not being viable. The company pivoted around the end of my short time there. Hope this one has more luck.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#86

Post by philliphaydon »

chrsig wrote: post #72
no_wizard wrote: post #57

Does this handle potential alimony? That’s the thing that scares me about getting divorced. A friend of mine confided in me that their partner hasn’t worked since they been married and is afraid that ending the relationship would put them in a deep alimony situation. Unfortunate side effect of living in a high cost are sure but I understand their frustration

It shouldn't be that scary. I've been married coming up on 10 years in January. I've been the sole income provider for a large majority of the marriage. I wouldn't be able to make the income that I do without the contributions my wife has made to making my life easier, and in general keeping the more administrative aspects of life under control. I'm in a marriage with her because I love her and respect her. Part of t…

You don’t have to answer but I would like to ask.

> I wouldn't be able to make the income that I do without the contributions my wife has made to making my life easier, and in general keeping the more administrative aspects of life under control.

If you were to divorce would you find it reasonable for her to get 50%?

Because I would seem as tho she gave up (willingly in support of you) a career for you. And after divorce wouldn’t be able to maintain any sort of lifestyle as a result of having no career or work experience?

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#87

Post by notch656a »

pyuser583 wrote: post #82
cafard wrote: post #15

In one of his books, Gerald Weinberg said that his sister decided that it was time to give up divorce work when one of her clients (or the client's adversary) produced a list of goods for partition including a partly used container of dish soap under the sink. And my brother (a lawyer) told me of an attorney in the Mountain West who gave up divorce work as too stressful and went on to defending clients on capital cha…

I just watched friends divorce. They brought a lot of unnecessary suffering in themselves. They didn’t want an app. The number one thing to know about divorce with kids is that you lose control. They couldn’t stand that. The idea that the other person was 100% in charge of the kids. They began making extremely vague allegations of how the other parent does unspecified “bad things” that need to be “reported.” They eve…

Once you understand child support payments, and thus the ability to be jailed and eventually charged with a felony and have your civil rights revoked, are tied to custody you'll understand part of the reason for the high stakes. If you end up with The only debtor's prison there is in the US is the one for people with <50% custody. Therefore if the other parent makes claims of abuse, it's imperative you have counterclaims to make sure the other parent is in just as bad light to make sure you won't be subject to imprisonment at the whim of a judge at any misfortune you have.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#88

Post by s1artibartfast »

chrsig wrote: post #72
no_wizard wrote: post #57

Does this handle potential alimony? That’s the thing that scares me about getting divorced. A friend of mine confided in me that their partner hasn’t worked since they been married and is afraid that ending the relationship would put them in a deep alimony situation. Unfortunate side effect of living in a high cost are sure but I understand their frustration

It shouldn't be that scary. I've been married coming up on 10 years in January. I've been the sole income provider for a large majority of the marriage. I wouldn't be able to make the income that I do without the contributions my wife has made to making my life easier, and in general keeping the more administrative aspects of life under control. I'm in a marriage with her because I love her and respect her. Part of t…

This assumes that the husband wants to remain married and that the wife is contributing.

Congrats on your loving and supportive marriage, but that is not always the case.

I imagine it's a lot more scary for people in the latter group.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#89

Post by vecinu »

schrodinger wrote: post #65
vecinu wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You’re entitled to keep a larger portion of it (as you get a credit for it). Doesn't this depend on if you have a pre-nup especially in states like CA? I got married super early and had to divide everything equally even though I earned much more than my spouse.

Not in NY, an “equitable distribution” state. Our mediator informed us that my wife was entitled to maybe 10% of my ipo stock since she didn’t sacrifice or contribute to it (I had a normal salary). Sounds like ny is an exceptionally fair state!

Wow...that does sound quite exceptional. My wife got 50% of all my RSUs and all other equity I earned throughout my career. Nothing I could do about it since it was earned during our marriage and that's the law in CA.

Re: New divorce app to help couples split assets in New York without lawyers

#90

Post by notch656a »

philliphaydon wrote: post #86
chrsig wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It shouldn't be that scary. I've been married coming up on 10 years in January. I've been the sole income provider for a large majority of the marriage. I wouldn't be able to make the income that I do without the contributions my wife has made to making my life easier, and in general keeping the more administrative aspects of life under control. I'm in a marriage with her because I love her and respect her. Part of t…

You don’t have to answer but I would like to ask. > I wouldn't be able to make the income that I do without the contributions my wife has made to making my life easier, and in general keeping the more administrative aspects of life under control. If you were to divorce would you find it reasonable for her to get 50%? Because I would seem as tho she gave up (willingly in support of you) a career for you. And after div…

Seems reasonable to me she would get the 50% from during the marriage, but nothing after. Most people agree to share resources from during the marriage, not after the marriage. If the bread winner owes alimony, then the house-maker should owe maid service or something, but yet you never see that in the court order.
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