Ask HN: What exactly is a mindfulness meditation?

The only version of meditation I can speak to is probably better called focus training.

Just sit in a darkish room, no noise, close your eyes and just say in your head "breathe in" as you breathe in, hold for like 3 sec and think nothing, then breathe out saying in your head "breathe out", hold for 3 sec while thinking nothing.

Repeat.

You wont get to round 2 without your mind wondering and thinking about something else. Just focusing on your breathing without thinking about work, friends, politics or when you stubbed your toe yesterday is an incredibly hard task.

That's 1 part of meditation.

Another part is then doing the same idea with your breathing but then to an "idea". I find when I try to do focus training, I run into thoughts that "bother me". Well, I'd say it's my subconscious trying to warn me about something. Thus, I'll do the same thing with just that thought, and funny enough the wandering thoughts will relate heavily to whatever that issue is. I then start to analyze the issue in now a really calm state. Eventually I come to either the conclusion to the problem in a way that brings me closure to never worry about it again or what my next step is, which again, gives me a sense of closure/stop worrying.

Breathe in/breathe out, my subconscious brings up another stress/anxiety ridden issue tormenting me. Time to meditate on that.

A lot of it is like surfing a wave. You're just letting your mind bring up thoughts. You cant consciously force it without inflicting a bias. Once you feel like you have all the evidence, then you can put it together. Eventually, you do this enough, the amount of time you spend focus training will be on your breath as you've dealt with all the things your subconscious is pressuring you about.

The second part is what I think is closest to traditional meditation, but I cant see how to get there without the first part.

Since you’re asking for personal experience - I’m just happier and a better person with mindfulness. I’ve been doing it for 20 years and it’s changed my life for the better.

It seems you might think it’s woo-woo / hand-wavey, which isn’t uncommon in the west.

It’s also not for everyone. my partner has severe anxiety and has never been able to successfully get into meditation. She’s found some success with Metta (loving kindness) but can’t sit in a breathing meditation. That’s okay, it’s something I would never pressure her on. People are just different.

For me, without meditation, my emotions and thoughts get out of control, like an animal’s. I jump to 10 things a minute. I get lost in thought and don’t even realize it. I have no emotional regulation if I feel anger or sadness, it’s like sadness just happens to me. I find it to be a very weird, out of control, and animalistic feeling.

For my personal experience, meditation at its lowest description is like exercise for the mind, and at its highest description is a consistent way of accessing a higher state of being.

Exercise - you’re working your muscles on a regular basis by walking, but without focus you make little progress. For me, if I don’t meditate regularly I find I lose control of my mind 5-10 times a minute. That means I can lose focus, am less happy, and have weak emotional regulation - it’s only when I don’t meditate or sleep that it’s even possible I’d be angry at someone or (horrible thought) consider yelling at my kids. If I’m mindful that kind of emotional reactivity is just not possible. Had a shitty father so that one is important to me.

State of being - meditation can consistently offer the insights psychedelics give you a glimpse into, but on a sustained basis and in a more true form. Many people in the west get into meditation by way of psychedelics and a desire to understand their state of being. It can be as elevated as the annoying diatribe of a college freshman who just did shrooms for the first time, but reliable, consistent, and more true.

Until meditation, I didn’t even realize emotions are physical embodiments (heart racing, shallow breath, pinched shoulders, etc) and last no more than 60 seconds. It’s my rumination and thought that creates moods, which can last for hours or even days. Mindfulness is a helpful way to ensure an emotions is felt fully but doesn’t last more than a minute, so you don’t make bad decisions.

There are many benefits of meditation, ranging from the corporate co-opting of it as “stress relief” to the Buddhist idea that “the mind is everything. What you think you become.”

It is very hard to describe without doing it, just like a runner’s high doesn’t make sense if all one does is walk. These are a few personal experiences that I hope are helpful.

Sam Harris’s “Waking Up” app is a great place to start. Do the trial for 30 days. He’s brilliant and the best entry point I’ve found for westerners who think meditation is too woo-woo.

> Other gurus teach that meditation is “doing nothing”. Okay, but then again there’s nothing special about it, we all do it from time to time.

That is great you can do that naturally. Personally, I struggle with doing nothing. Even when I am resting or waiting for something, I am on my phone or thinking about problems in my life.

Meditation helps me release those stresses and gives me permission to "do nothing".

Meditation is being fully aware of what's happening now.

Washing dishes can be a meditation. Talking a walk. Focusing on the breath. Repeating a mantra. Lifting weights. It doesn't matter what the technique is, the important part is that you are aware of what happening now and being present in that moment, from moment to moment.

For many people, focusing on the breath is an easy way to notice when the mind wanders, so they can bring it back to the now. It's an effective technique that helps your practice meditation through trial and error (bring the mind back when it wanders and repeat), but it's not a definition of meditation. It's a practice, just like you practice for a sport, with the goal of applying it to real life.

A good example of a meditation is what professional athletes do. Almost every athlete has some kind of "routine" that allows them to clear the mind before performing their act, be it lifting a heavy weight or hitting a ball. That's a type of meditation.

Another example of the result of practicing meditation is that it helps you to create a gap between trigger and response allowing you to make a decision. For example, when someone says something that hurts you, you may be tempted to respond back with something angry and hurtful. Often this happens by default or impulse due to strong emotions. It's not a conscious rational decision made by you. Practicing meditation can allow you to be fully present in that moment. Because you've practiced, you realize what you are feeling and thinking, what your choices are, and catch yourself before you respond back with something angry. You're in a mental state where you can make a rational decision about how to respond because you are aware of your own feelings and thoughts.

I think you should read 10% Happier by Dan Harris. He's a news anchor that tried meditation after having a panic attack on air. He's doesn't oversell the benefits (he says he feels about 10% happier) and he covers his journey from skeptic to practicing every day