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Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

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Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#81

Post by stkdump »

avar wrote: post #79
sgerenser wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Breastfeeding once reduces SIDS risk by 36 times? If that’s even remotely accurate, which I doubt, I’m 100% sure it’s correlation not causation. People who breastfeed are much more likely to be higher income, more informed about keeping toys and blankets out of the crib, have baby sleep on their back, etc.

> People who breastfeed are much more likely to be higher income. The median income of a breastfeeding mother is probably at least 1/10th of US median per capita GDP. E.g. Rwanda has some of the highest breastfeeding rates in the world.

So the study (is there a study?) that found this result included Rwanda, and found that Rwandan kids suffer less from SIDS?

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#82

Post by rp3 »

elzbardico wrote: post #56

Just out of curiosity: is it common for Americans not to breastfeed? It may seem funny but for me mentions of bottles for newborns sound so strange

The U.S. doesn't have guaranteed maternity leave. Even 4 months is considered generous. Many people will pump breast milk during the day, and deliver it to the baby in a bottle.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#83

Post by rp3 »

daleharvey wrote: post #27
Ovah wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. I wish you would back up such a strong statement. In medical school we were taught the complete opposite. From my notes: - there's a x36 decreased risk of Sudden infant death syndrome if the child has been breast fed a single(!) time compared to no breast feeding. - no breast feeding vs only breast feeding: x15 risk of pneumonia, x11…

Emily Oyster wrote good books about how a lot of the popular claims around giving birth / raising children have quite a severe lack of data that supports those claims. For breastfeeding in particular there isn't much data to separate whether breastfeeding is actually helpful at all vs being in an economical position that would allow someone to breasfeed. https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-abo...

Did this author even read the papers she cites?

> In the first camp — the randomized trial camp — we have one very large-scale study from Belarus. Known as the PROBIT trial, it was run in the 1990s and continued to follow up as the children aged.

And then later

> The researchers analyzed the impacts of breastfeeding on allergies and asthma; on cavities; and on height, blood pressure, weight and various measures of obesity. They found no evidence of nursing’s impacts on any of these outcomes.

If you go to the PROBIT trial, you see it clearly stated that they did find an impact from nursing:

> Conclusions: Our experimental intervention increased the duration and degree (exclusivity) of breastfeeding and decreased the risk of gastrointestinal tract infection and atopic eczema in the first year of life.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#85

Post by Underphil »

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #2

Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…

My only advice to new parents is to largely ignore other parents' advice. Except mine, and only in this one instance.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#86

Post by EdwardDiego »

furyofantares wrote: post #14
asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #2

Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…

Here's one that always worked for me from about 6mo to 18mo: If she was crying and I played Hamilton on my phone, she'd immediately stop crying. Then I'd figure out that had been wrong and solve the actual problem for her. This was a 100% thing, it felt like magic, but of course I'm not gonna dole it out as even remotely likely to work with another baby.

For my oldest child, it was Dominion Road by the Muttonbirds[0], that calmed him, and only that. It was sheer luck I found that out.

But, after having more children than you could fit in a regular car, I've realised that each child is an entire bag of quirks that don't apply to others.

[0]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCpXp6o8dnk

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#87

Post by EdwardDiego »

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #2

Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…

Every child is a whole new world, a whole new potential, and a whole new problem.

1. My first child couldn't be calmed easily, although I found a song that somehow worked. [0]

2. Second child could be soothed by slowly rubbing from his temple down past his eye to his cheek.

3. Third child hated that, but loved having her forehead rubbed slowly in a horizontal manner.

4. Fourth child just wanted a firm pressure on the top of his head (e.g., a palm, he'd also burrow up into your armpit for comfort sometimes, which was awkward when I hadn't showered that day)

5. Fifth child didn't need any of the above, just lots of hugs and kisses at bed time. Bless her.

The only generally applicable rules I found are:

* Sleeping on your chest when young where they can hear your heartbeart (I found it works best with Dad when breastfeeding, as the smell of Mom's milk tended to stir them up for a feed, even if they're struggling with wind and not able to feed) can be very calming. Ideally done skin to skin.

* Slow rocking while making a continuous "sssshhh" noise often helped - the fact I'd become a human white noise generator amused me.

* Patiently, calmly, love them. It's most important to do this when it's hardest to love them. Knowing that they can be total assholes and you'll still love them is what grows secure kids.

* Ask for help when you're struggling! A lot of your friends and family are probably desperate to help you, but they don't want to appear condescending, or to intrude. So give them permission, explicitly invite them to help, and your sanity will return, which will make you a much better parent for baby.

That's it. That's all my parenting advice after five babies.

[0]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCpXp6o8dnk

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#88

Post by Simon_says »

jordanpg wrote: post #32
asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

Quoted post unavailable.

Small price to pay for the truth.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#89

Post by ars »

atul_wired wrote: post #78

We learned the hard way that baby could be colic (with increased crying during evening hours) due to intolerance to cow’s milk/soy (via mother’s milk). It took us couple of months to get there (first stopped milk products and subsequently soy) and I wish we had known earlier. I’ve been meaning to write a blog post with the hope to help someone run through these possible causes as part of diagnosing the colic crying e…

Colic is really bad, it hurts the baby quite a bit, so they'll cry non-stop, which makes the adults crazy. If you have such a baby, it helps to remember how badly it's hurting them.

Have you ever had really bad heartburn? Now imagine that for hours on end, with no ability to do anything about it.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#90

Post by ars »

elzbardico wrote: post #56

Just out of curiosity: is it common for Americans not to breastfeed? It may seem funny but for me mentions of bottles for newborns sound so strange

It's a mix, some do some don't. About 30 years ago it was not common at all, but there has been a huge reversal.

The messaging right now is that breastfeeding is better, but be careful not to oversell it so that you don't make those who can't feel bad.

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