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Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

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Re: Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

#81

Post by spiffytech »

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child in the early 90s, before smartphones and PCs and all of this "overstimulation". My family has some home videos of school plays where the difference between my behavior and my classmates' is striking - a categorically different level of hyperactity and inattention. I spent a lot of my childhood working around energy and inattention issues. In adulthood the symptoms subdued and got more subtle, harder to spot, but once I knew what to look for, I still checked all the boxes and it can still cause me problems.

ADHD is very real, but just because someone struggles to focus or plan doesn't mean ADHD is the explanation. ADHD's impact is wide-ranging and nuanced, with possible symptoms like "emotional impermanence" (you forget or disbelieve how someone feels about you if they haven't told you very recently), or having "time blindness" (a poor sense of time, where it's hard to process anything more nuanced than "now" and "not now"). And ADHD doesn't always mean you outright "can't" function normally; sometimes you can but it'll just much more draining than for a normal person.

Here's an article I found fascinating about how ADHD brains behave differently at a physical level: https://www.additudemag.com/current-research-on-adhd-breakdo...

The Translating ADHD podcast is pretty good at discussing the lifestyle impact side of ADHD. That's an angle that neurodiversity research literature broadly doesn't cover much.

Re: Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

#82

Post by el_don_almighty »

My brain is not like yours

It rests like an eagle on the wind

An anxious eye triggers a thousand ideas

Driven by a single motion below

A twitching grass blade,

A shifting sparkle from the water's edge

No uncalled cure beckons my mind

No defect can I find

Fix me not you callous normal

And care for your own hollow cave

Re: Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

#84

Post by depressionalt »

dmitryminkovsky wrote: post #28
depressionalt wrote: post #16

It is real. I've dealt with it since before the internet was a big thing. Before the web, people used to tell me that books were too much of a distraction. I highly recommend you treat it as an actual disorder because the sooner you address it, the less it will affect important parts of your life, especially your relationships.

Thank you for you answer. What effects does untreated ADHD have on relationships?

ADHD has certain symptoms that can lead your significant other to believe you're a (socio?)psychopath:

- First, folks with ADHD tend to lack empathy. It's ironic because we also tend to be very sensitive to others' emotions, leading us to think that we are feeling empathy. It's not.

- Second, we have an absentmindedness that leads non-ADHD spouses to tear their hair. They often feel you're deliberately ignoring them. We often cover up for ourselves with pointless, white lies. Spouses can come to believe that you are perpetually dishonest.

- Third, we're impulsive. That leads us to do things we shouldn't. We also can't help ourselves from doing many things our sig others ask us not to do.

Besides that, our impaired executive function means we have extremely poor awareness time. On a short time frame, folks with ADHD are almost always late to every type of event. On a long time frame, we can be very poor savers and bad at planning for far-in-the-future events like retirement. Untreated, someone with ADHD will unfairly burden their spouse with all the planning in the household.

I found that a combination of medication, practicing mindfulness, and even having a mere awareness of your tendencies wins you 90% of the battle.

I've been in a relationship and now marriage for almost 15 years now – I cannot imagine what it would be like maintaining this thing without acknowledging the gravity of ADHD on many aspects of the relationship.

Re: Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

#85

Post by depressionalt »

DestroyADHD wrote: post #67
artdigital wrote: post #37

I want to punch people asking this question. I would pay a lot of money for a cure, but there is none. Medicine makes it a somewhat better, but I still struggle daily with ADHD. The first step is the diagnosis, the next step is to actually learn how it affects you personally and where on the ADHD spectrum you are. Some people are horrible with concentration, some others have no issue with that but are very emotionall…

You want to punch someone with a genuine curiosity about a disorder they were diagnosed for? Didn’t expect HackerNews to be this hostile.

It sucks to grow up and see people trivialize your condition. While its effect varies by person, I think most people on this side of the fence would agree that, had their family (and society) was aware of and acknowledged their condition much earlier in their life, it would have saved them a _lot_ grief, anxiety, depression, self doubt, and unnecessary failure.

Please don't receive parent as hostile, I can assure you they are not. We've all grown up being told we're lazy, overstimulated, and lacked discipline. Please understand that your question "Is ADHD Real? [..] I am still wondering .. this is a real disorder [..] ?" can be perceived as a gaslight, as it seemed less an earnest question and more of a comment, really.

Re: Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

#86

Post by depressionalt »

fredrikholm wrote: post #58

It is real. I was diagnosed late (30s), and have been on medication for about a month now and the difference is staggering: * My mind is silent without stimulus. I no longer desperately crave to cram every living second with input, I am OK with sitting down and doing nothing for a while. * I now live up to my own standards: if I think that I should do something, I am way more likely to do it (tidying, running errands…

How did you get through the earlier parts of life un treated? Did you do well in school? If you don't mind me asking, what made you get the diagnosis in your late 30s?

Re: Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

#87

Post by depressionalt »

artdigital wrote: post #40
dmitryminkovsky wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for you answer. What effects does untreated ADHD have on relationships?

Can be different things depending on the person. Some examples could be: Not doing house chores and your part, lack of empathy, not preparing things like trips with your partner, “out of sight out of mind” when they’re not in front of you, emotional impulsivity or overthinking small things into problems

> “out of sight out of mind” when they’re not in front of you, emotional impulsivity or overthinking small things into problems

I feel your pain. It's definitely helpful when your partner knows about your condition. Unfortunately, ADHD is never a long term excuse.

Re: Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

#88

Post by D13Fd »

I’m not sure the question makes sense. I think ADHD is a label for a collection of behaviors that differ from the norm.

My understanding is that the behaviors are real and actually do differ from typical behaviors, and that the general collection of behaviors are actually labeled ADHD. So in that sense it’s definitely real.

It seems like the question you really want to ask is what is the cause of those behaviors, and is it internal or external.

Re: Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

#89

Post by depressionalt »

DestroyADHD wrote: post #69
wickoff wrote: post #44

I don't think it matters whether ADHD is real or not. The question is whether stimulant medications improve some quality of life for some people. Seems like they do.

https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/12/28/adderall-risks-much-mo...

Did you read the actual article? The way you've written in this thread, you come off as a guy who thinks that he's the only one that did his homework about medication, and that those who take it are your moral inferiors. Why did you even start this thread?

Re: Ask HN: Is ADHD Real?

#90

Post by DoreenMichele »

Lack of planning abilities is an executive function issue and can sometimes be improved by tending to your health. Up your nutrition, exercise, etc

ADHD is a diagnosis given after other explanations have been eliminated. So if it seems to not fit that may be an accurate hunch.

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