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Willingness to look stupid

danluu.com

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Re: Willingness to look stupid

#81

Post by cbg0 »

Some of the things mentioned in the article make me think the opposite of what the article is titled. The lack of transparency into the thought process of the individual shows that there is a willingness to not look stupid by giving away reasons which might seem silly, otherwise they'd be more direct in the way they ask questions so as to also reveal their thought process.

If you care about what people think of you, perhaps you should first ask if there's anything you can change instead of expecting more from others.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#82

Post by [deleted] »

josephg wrote: post #36

After a terrible breakup years ago I took a trapeze class. Before we got up on the trapeze bar, I spent most of the class telling everyone how bad I was going to be at it. When I got home I lay in bed confused. Why did I do that? This article is spot on. I was afraid of being seen to be bad at something. Have you noticed? We spend almost our entire adult lives doing things we’re good at. Anything we do that we’re bad…

[deleted]

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#83

Post by Ensorceled »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #2

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

I have to say, this example did make me switch my view of the author from some one who wasn't afraid to ask the "stupid" questions to being either a deliberately "just asking questions" asshole who likes to fuck with people or, to be more charitable, someone with a bit of a spectrum disorder.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#85

Post by darkmatterrat »

This whole post just reads as a shallow attempt to justify odd behaviour and poor communication and try to disguise it as some argument against vanity (while ironically being quite vain as his tone comes off as high handed).

I wonder how many times he thought he knew better and it bite him in the arse? He did allude to it, but I suspect it far more often than he would be willing to admit.

> Car insurance: the last time I bought car insurance, I had to confirm three times that I only wanted coverage for damage I do to others with no coverage for damage to my own vehicle if I'm at fault. The insurance agent was unable to refrain from looking at me like I'm an idiot and was more incredulous each time they asked if I was really sure

This is typically more expensive as people that get third party insurance are usually newer (and younger drivers) so the insurance company will charge you more because their algorithm for determining cost will factor that in. So I don't doubt he was getting strange looks because it likely cost him more money and you don't get the obvious benefit of full comprehensive.

This and the laptop situation screams of "I made a strange request and didn't explain my motivations and then I wondered why I got strange looks".

It is just him communication poorly. Which isn't anything to brag about.

> On the flip side, the person I was living with at the time didn't want to wear the mask I got her since she found it too embarrassing to wear a mask when no one else was and become one of the early bay area covid cases, which gave her a case of long covid that floored her for months

The whole mask effectiveness isn't as straight forward as he thinks it is. His flatmate after the mixed messaging from the media probably thought it was a wash and decided to just fit in with everyone else and was unlucky as a result.

I have no idea why this guy is so popular. Whenever I read anything from him he seems completely unlikeable.

EDIT: Rephrasing.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#86

Post by rsp1984 »

After reading the first couple paragraphs it felt like Dan was telling stories about my life, not his, down to the detail it's almost creepy. Specifically this paragraph stood out:

Back in college, there was one group of folks that, for whatever reason, stood out to me as people who really didn't understand the class material. When they talked, they said things that didn't make any sense, they were struggling in the classes and barely passing, etc. I don't remember any direct interactions but, one day, a friend of mine who also knew them remarked to me, "did you know [that group] thinks you're really dumb?". I found that really delightful and asked why. It turned out the reason was that I asked really stupid sounding questions.

And that group of people, when they failed tests or scored badly, it was always the test that was "unfair".

I wanted to write a blog post about this very topic for a long time, but it has now become obsolete because there's no way I could do a better job than Dan. Outstanding.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#87

Post by kaydub »

This title spoke to me. I work with some very talented engineers. I often feel like I'm asking stupid questions. A couple coworkers treat me like I'm an idiot. But I don't really care. I'd rather know than have an ego.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#88

Post by bambax »

> I added more air filtration capacity when I moved to a wildfire risk area

Well, okay, but maybe the non-stupid thing is to not move to a wildfire risk area.

In general the list of circumstances where the author was willing to "look stupid" to strangers because he was, in fact, clever and seeing into the future, is mildly irritating.

Feynman's first wife put it better: "what do you care what other people think?"

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#90

Post by NiceWayToDoIT »

cycomanic wrote: post #42
sillysaurusx wrote: post #2

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

I have to say this part (and quite a few other parts of the post) come across as quite arrogant. I mean if he really wants the computer with the smallest box, why can't he explain why. I agree with the general gist of the post: don't be afraid to ask stupid questions. However, the post has an underlying "feeling" of "my questions are not really stupid, I'm just so smart that others don't realise". I know that I ask p…

I think it is measure of time, for author it looks simple to put everything in few words instead of having long explanation, I find this typical in IT, where my coworkers all the time trying to compress explanation in fewest words possible. Maybe laziness or type of optimization, but usually back fires as other people ask you multiple questions, arising from their own point of view.
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