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My dead dad’s journal

seanblanda.com

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Re: My dead dad’s journal

#81

Post by bserge »

jl6 wrote: post #61

To all those who keep a long-term journal: what’s your end-game? Trash it? Publish it? Actively gift it to your family? Passively let the family read it if they find it? If it’s an electronic journal, what steps are you taking to ensure or prevent access after you’re gone?

I have a massive collection of thoughts in old OneNote files and Google Keep.

I just write them down for myself. I should probably make them available to everyone somehow, I'm pretty sure many will find them interesting.

At least I do, rereading the really old stuff :D

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#83

Post by exciteabletom »

HeyZuess wrote: post #10
oh_sigh wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not sure what your system is, but if you have one, make sure your email provider isn't the kind that deletes addresses if no one has logged in in a year or two.

Thanks, good tip. I am using gmail and occasionally log into the accounts to ensure the emails are being received, and there are not problems with the account.

You should forward every email to an account on a different provider as well. For redundancy

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#84

Post by BurningFrog »

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #39
BurningFrog wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Unfortunately it seems to me that addiction tends to defeat good cognition, awareness, intention, all the rest of the apparent defences In those who become addicted, sure. But that's a small minority. For most of us, something, whether it's good cognition, awareness, intention, or something else, apparently does defeat addiction.

I’m fairly sure this is a logical fallacy. Addiction is so prevalent among people who are far more intelligent, capable, and strong than I am. There’s nothing special about me other than a fortunate environment and genetics as far as I’m concerned. Pretty much every addict I’ve spoken to about their addiction and personal matters (not a small number) has had terrible experiences in life. It’s almost guaranteed. Weird…

My point was not at all that we non addicts are superior.

I was trying to make a methodological argument: If you only look at addicts, your data will say that addiction is inevitable. You need to look at the whole population, to see that some get addicted, and most people don't.

Then you can figure out how the groups are different and start to understand the casualties. I'm sure this has been done, but I haven't heard much about results.

I think your trauma theory very likely is part of it.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#85

Post by beervirus »

wsc981 wrote: post #41
johnwheeler wrote: post #30

Especially powerful for me was > My dad didn’t have a tidy ending. I won’t. And neither will you. Our lives will not be a slow positive upward slope before we die in our sleep surrounded by our loved ones.

Not exactly the same, but that quote reminded me of quote from the Donnie Darko movie: “everyone dies alone” [0]. I believe this is very much true. —— [0]: https://youtu.be/8j1IMBM-QyE

Firefly too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txk7MxsyVMw

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#86

Post by playpause »

asadlionpk wrote: post #50
nemo1618 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You might also enjoy FutureMe: https://www.futureme.org You can send emails 10 years into the future! :)

I have been using futureme for over a decade now. Highly recommend.

Interested in any details you’re willing to share about how you use it. How often do you send one, and over what kind of timeframe? Been wanting to use it but never know what to write.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#87

Post by nemo1618 »

playpause wrote: post #86
asadlionpk wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have been using futureme for over a decade now. Highly recommend.

Interested in any details you’re willing to share about how you use it. How often do you send one, and over what kind of timeframe? Been wanting to use it but never know what to write.

I used it as a journal. Starting in 2007, I wrote myself one email for each day of 2020. I didn't write very frequently, so it took the entire 13 years to finish. It made for a nice present to my future self. :)

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#89

Post by steve_adams_86 »

BurningFrog wrote: post #84
steve_adams_86 wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m fairly sure this is a logical fallacy. Addiction is so prevalent among people who are far more intelligent, capable, and strong than I am. There’s nothing special about me other than a fortunate environment and genetics as far as I’m concerned. Pretty much every addict I’ve spoken to about their addiction and personal matters (not a small number) has had terrible experiences in life. It’s almost guaranteed. Weird…

My point was not at all that we non addicts are superior. I was trying to make a methodological argument: If you only look at addicts, your data will say that addiction is inevitable. You need to look at the whole population, to see that some get addicted, and most people don't. Then you can figure out how the groups are different and start to understand the casualties. I'm sure this has been done, but I haven't hear…

Ahh my bad, your phrasing was fine and I definitely inferred the wrong intent from it. Sorry, I should have read it with less baggage.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#90

Post by schrijver »

owlninja wrote: post #45
wsc981 wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not exactly the same, but that quote reminded me of quote from the Donnie Darko movie: “everyone dies alone” [0]. I believe this is very much true. —— [0]: https://youtu.be/8j1IMBM-QyE

In a similar vein this Jason Isbell lyric always sticks with me > There's one thing that's real clear to me: No one dies with dignity

Some absolutely do. Of course they are sad, and afraid, but they’re lucid about what’s happening. They make their affairs in order and they say their goodbyes. And they die with dignity. I’ve seen it up close, and it’s impressive.

For the longest time I thought it wasn’t possible. I’d read Simone de Beauvoir’s Une mort très douce, where she chronicles her mother’s death, and the conclusion is more or less that even with a live well fulfilled we all end up raging against the dying of the light (a reference to Dylan Thomas). It sounded very reasonable to me. But now I know it does not have to be like that.

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