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Why Russians do not smile (2002)
81–90 of 502 posts
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#82I really liked book by Erin Meyer "The Culture Map" it gives a lot more insight into those kind of things. She is American that moved to France and was working with multicultural teams.
"Americans precede anything negative with three nice comments; French, Dutch, Israelis, and Germans get straight to the point; Latin Americans and Asians are steeped in hierarchy; Scandinavians think the best boss is just one of the crowd."
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#83My personal take on smiles is that they're welcome if genuine, but can have adverse effects when forced. Many people think that displaying a fake smile for example at the workplace would help with interactions, especially professional ones, but rest assured that when I see someone faking a smile, particularly those working hard to look warm and sincere, I immediately feel I could be manipulated and get on the defensi…
I live in a culture where being nice and smiling to people is the norm. It's really nice interacting with strangers because they'll always nice and smiles at you (even road rage is particularly rare), but this also makes backstabbing office politics particularly painful, especially when you're still expected to display nice and smiling behaviour even after such backstabbing. I guess you can't have the best of both wo…
IME, there's basically no correlation between your facial expression and whether you respect and work well with others. Someone who just smiles at you all the time is going to either seem nutty, or at best look like he's being really nervous and trying to find humor in the interaction somehow. It's a sign of weakness and might make others take you less seriously. On the flip side a firm expression and stiff upper lip can also connote respect for others.
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#84But really, why do Americans smile?
To appear friendly and welcoming, and to show that you're having a good time. People often assume something's wrong if you never smile, or, worse, frown.
I'll try to give you European POV :).
People sometimes have good time (better than avg), sometimes bad time, and sometime neutral time (say.. thinking about some problem to solve, or repeating Swedish vocabulary to learn a new language, or trying to recall the name of a person you just met and you're supposed to remember).
If you're compelled to smile with every interaction, in order to show that you have good time, then it'd mean that you'd be mostly lying according to the aforementioned definition :).
Unless we re-define the 'good time', so it means 'not significantly bad', which seems to be the case here. It's just, that it requires a bit of effort to remember and to switch to when visiting US.
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#85I had the same impression traveling to Bolivia. I am Brazilian and we generally smile when speaking with someone. But in La Paz people usually had this serious look on their faces and a kind of difficult to approach semblance. I imagined poverty could explain that, but Brazil is a bit poorer than Russia. Maybe instead of poverty, we could think about hardship in a more general sense? I find very hard to believe that…
Russians can be the sincerest friends you know, smiling to you. They also can be your fiercest enemies, still smiling to you. Sometimes I think this is the source of the hollywood/McCarthy myth of bad russians. TL;DR: If all russians would play poker, the world would be broke.
But they don't smile!
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#86But really, why do Americans smile?
There's also a fake it till you make it aspect. If you're having a crummy day, forcing yourself to smile anyway can help you out of it. Wagging the dog's tail to make it happy so to speak.
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#87I wonder if any Russians can weigh in if this still feels accurate. I'm familiar with Polish Culture, which is less fun, frivolous, and happy than American culture, but a smile is certainly not an attack, just reserved for genuine occasions. Service people are in no way expected to smile unless there is some honest reason to.
This is a risky hypothesis, but could it have something to do with access to guns? In a society when every stranger can potentially be armed, it might be prudent to somehow display the 'I intend no harm' sign upfront, and smile might be a good proxy for that? The 'the armed society is a polite society' thing? Living in Europe, where owning guns is not common (and carrying personally very very rare), I don't feel comp…
I don't think that's the case at all, based on variations in the US. The upper-class parts of LA are known for superficial friendliness, while New York is not, but in neither region is known for its gun culture.
Meanwhile parts of the Midwest that had a lot of Germanic immigrants are perceived as being "cold" compared to the southern states, and both tend to have high rates of gun ownership.
When I first moved to Southern California, I found the smiles quite off-putting. Living here for over a decade, I'm sure I do the same now.
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#88I've heard different explanations. Someone told me if someone is smiling to you in Russia, they are probably scamming you. A smile given away too freely for no reason can be perceived as fake and suspicious.
Absolutely true, I have experienced this myself
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#89Earlier quoted context omitted.
Both beets and sugar cane are old world plants, and maize-based corn syrup wasn't used as a sweetener until the 20th century. It's true that refined sugar is terrible for dental health, but it didn't come from the americas.
It wasn’t known that beets could be exploited for sugar until the 16th century. Sugar cane was not known in Europe (outside Muslim-ruled areas of Spain) until post-Colombian times. In antiquity, the sole common means of sweetening food in Europe was honey, and later dulce de leche .
Or extracts from sweet fruit like this:
Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)
#90Austrian here, we are somewhat in between Russians and Americans, when it comes to smiling. But what I can tell you is that life is just so much better when people smile at you, even if it might not be a hundred percent genuine. My comparison stems from having worked with both Russians and Americans. Being around grumpy Russians all day long makes live really miserable.
I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…
I'm an American and I love smiling at strangers and receiving a genuine smile in return. It's the perfect minimal conversation: no words, just sharing a moment of mutual positivity and kinship. It's like you said the perfect thing, except you didn't have to think of anything clever.
It sounds as though people in some countries interpret it as if the smiling person is on the inside of a joke and you're on the outside, or even the object of ridicule. As if the default is hostile intent. It sounds like a terrible thing to assume about your fellow stranger, to be honest.
Maybe the point is that if you start off assuming maximum hostility, the reality is more likely to be a pleasant surprise?
At any rate, we have common ground when it comes to those meaningless questions. They're hollow and they ruin the perfection of a nice wordless smile or simple "hi" or "hey". The absolute worst is when you pass a stranger and say "hi" and they respond to your back as they walk off into the distance, "hey, how ya doin?"