How people learn to become resilient (2016) • Hacker News Board

Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)

#81

Post by leetcrew » Tue, Apr 06, 2021, 2:08 AM UTC

runawaybottle wrote: post #79

leetcrew wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

hard to attack something that is already the status quo and free.

It’s not hard to attack it. Cold turkey strategies can be a recipe for disaster.

I'm personally skeptical of AA due to a.) the fact that it is structured in a way that makes it impossible for it to evaluate its own efficacy and b.) the general cult vibe.

it's difficult to attack because, among other things, it is already integrated with the justice system. it fills the role of "okay, you're guilty of {drug-related offense}, but since it's your first time we're gonna cut you a break. we can't just let you get off scot-free, so you gotta go to these meetings and get this slip signed. maybe you'll end up turning your life around in the process." any discussion of a replacement probably has to start with "how much does it cost?" and "who's paying?".

Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)

#82

Post by esyir » Tue, Apr 06, 2021, 7:26 AM UTC

majormajor wrote: post #21

ceh123 wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Werner wrote. Perhaps most importantly, the resilient children had what psychologists call an “internal locus of control”: they believed that they, and not their circumstances, affected their achievements. The resilient children saw themselves as the orchestrators of their own fates. In fact, on a scale that measured locus of control, they scored more than two standard deviations away from the standardization group.…

I think we're all lucky that not everyone's goals are just to improve their own life, but that some people want to improve society too. If you were ill you'd want the doctor who told you both "here's how to cope" and "here's how we cure this thing," not the one who stopped at the first.

I think a major gripe I have with said movements is that they exclusively want the latter, to the point of hostility towards the former.

Example: the body-positivity/fat-acceptance movement, which is often hostile to the concept of "unhealthy body weight" and "losing weight".

Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)

#83

Post by anemoiac » Tue, Apr 06, 2021, 11:04 AM UTC

challengly wrote: post #78

oceanplexian wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would argue that privilege comes in other forms than wealth, and at a certain point no amount of wealth might make up for a rough childhood, or broken relationships, and those things can drive people too. Some people don’t work 70-hour weeks because of the money, or even because they enjoy it, but because on some level they are broken and it’s an acceptable “addiction” that lets them avoid confronting their inner d…

The greatest privilege is being born in the West in the modern day, to 2 loving parents. Even if poor, you already won the birth lottery compared to 99% of every human that ever lived. Other notable advantages: Intelligence. Attractiveness. Charisma.

Is anyone born into this position happier than 99% of everyone who’s ever lived?

Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)

#84

Post by psychtrauma » Tue, Apr 06, 2021, 11:31 AM UTC

Fellshard wrote: post #80

psychtrauma wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed. I have no reason to argue and no real need to persuade others - I just wish to observe and live my truth.

Then it is meaningless to communicate it to anyone else. But I don't think that's what you think; there's an internal contradiction there. I will leave it at that.

Your claim is that all meaningful communication is arguing?

I can and do recommend therapy to everyone.

Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)

#85

Post by akoncius » Sun, Apr 11, 2021, 7:53 AM UTC

watwut wrote: post #35

akoncius wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

on the other hand: you said you would rather not be resilient at all.. so how would you prefer to react to the exact same trauma you experienced previously? assuming that you cannot choose to not have that trauma at all.

The person you are responding to would prefer to never having to go through trauma and would be fine with never building that additional resilience. That trauma is not good price for the supposed resilience he got. And I can add that another benefit for him would be time and money saved on therapist. Therapy takes time and a lot of money. Being in situation where you don't need it is better, even if you lose on tiny…

yeah, I understand that people prefer to not have trauma in their life but it’s just impossible :)