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How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

npr.org

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Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#81
post #78
post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does not seam to work very well either: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jul/23/canada-indigen...

You have to know there is a huge difference between showing and managing your initial anger response, and plotting a murder.

>managing your initial anger response

And whats with long term anger response?

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#82
post #18
post #9

So a large part is to lie? I don't know. I mean, yes, I get angry by my children, and I don't know any parent that does not. Probably I get angry too often too early. But I really try hard never to lie to my kids. I even show them that I am angry because I think that's part of the game. Kids need to learn that other people have emotions. But telling stories about horrific creatures to avoid dangerous places? I don't…

Do you not let your children read fiction books, since they are just filled with lies that the author imagined? Your comment about 'never lying' sounds like you take it to almost a pathological level.

Please don't cross into personal attack. Especially on parenting, which is the most intensely personal topic of all.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#83
post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>In all of those cases deception is the purpose of lying, the other purposes described aren't alternatives to deception, they are the purposes for which one seeks to deceive. That's what Christian morality says. There are other cultures which don't see the way you see. Western philosophy doesn't even answer the question "Why truth?"; only Nietzsche raises that question. In Christianity, truth doesn't need any further…

> That's what Christian morality says. No, it's a simple fact: each of the examples provided is a further end that relies on deception in order for lying to further it, not an alternative end which lying can serve independent of producing deception. Christian (and Christian-derived) morality assigns particular moral significance to that fact, which other cultures might well disagree with.

To deceive someone is to tell them an untruth for personal gain. There are cases where an untruth is told for the greater good, or for the good of the listener. In those cases, there is a divergence between lie and deception.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#84
The Briggs book referenced in the article is a really interesting read. I tracked down a copy after several articles like this one appeared shortly after her death. I assumed that the book primarily focused on child-rearing, but while that aspect of their culture is certainly an aspect of the book, her study of the concept of "ihuma" and how it applies to interactions between her host family and other adults in the same band were even more interesting to me, and her general observations about day to day life both on and off the ice were very enjoyable. It's not a tale of adventure unless you're really excited by cleaning fish, but as a voracious reader of native american culture it provides a great glimpse into a way of life which tragically would not last much longer.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#85

The article seems fairly problematic. https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/b0so4h/how_... EDIT: Well this is proving to be a pretty wild ride. As far as I can tell both this post and its replies (by TheAdamAndChe and ebg13) are getting voted down, which is very surprising to me (I would've expected either/or not both). That leads me to believe there's something wrong with my link. Does HN know something a…

Please don't go on about downvotes like that. It's tediously meta and breaks the site rules: https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#86
post #53
post #9

So a large part is to lie? I don't know. I mean, yes, I get angry by my children, and I don't know any parent that does not. Probably I get angry too often too early. But I really try hard never to lie to my kids. I even show them that I am angry because I think that's part of the game. Kids need to learn that other people have emotions. But telling stories about horrific creatures to avoid dangerous places? I don't…

In the Western culture, lying is primarily connected to deception. In cultures where Semitic religions have not influenced, lying and deception are not same: one can lie, without intending to deceive. That's how one has to look at. One can lie for multiple reasons. For instance, to avoid conflict; or because one is not in a mood. Deception is one among many reasons. Why the western culture focuses so much on the unit…

That’s untrue. Kids in western cultures are taught to lie. It’s white lies, for example your mom baked your a cake and it didn’t taste good. Parents still say you need to say it was good no matter what.

A white lie is told to “avoid “conflict” as you stated above.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#87
post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> That's what Christian morality says. No, it's a simple fact: each of the examples provided is a further end that relies on deception in order for lying to further it, not an alternative end which lying can serve independent of producing deception. Christian (and Christian-derived) morality assigns particular moral significance to that fact, which other cultures might well disagree with.

To deceive someone is to tell them an untruth for personal gain. There are cases where an untruth is told for the greater good, or for the good of the listener. In those cases, there is a divergence between lie and deception.

> To deceive someone is to tell them an untruth for personal gain.

No, it's to cause someone to believe something that is not true.

Personal gain is a common goal served by deceit, not part of it's essential character.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#88
post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> That's what Christian morality says. No, it's a simple fact: each of the examples provided is a further end that relies on deception in order for lying to further it, not an alternative end which lying can serve independent of producing deception. Christian (and Christian-derived) morality assigns particular moral significance to that fact, which other cultures might well disagree with.

To deceive someone is to tell them an untruth for personal gain. There are cases where an untruth is told for the greater good, or for the good of the listener. In those cases, there is a divergence between lie and deception.

I never got that connotation from the word 'deceive', I thought it just meant misleading someone, not necessarily for your own gain. Furthermore, I grew up christian and was never told all lying was for personal gain.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#89
post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>In all of those cases deception is the purpose of lying, the other purposes described aren't alternatives to deception, they are the purposes for which one seeks to deceive. That's what Christian morality says. There are other cultures which don't see the way you see. Western philosophy doesn't even answer the question "Why truth?"; only Nietzsche raises that question. In Christianity, truth doesn't need any further…

> That's what Christian morality says. No, it's a simple fact: each of the examples provided is a further end that relies on deception in order for lying to further it, not an alternative end which lying can serve independent of producing deception. Christian (and Christian-derived) morality assigns particular moral significance to that fact, which other cultures might well disagree with.

What you say is true, but stating the fact this way is already framing the conversation. To see this just reflect how you feel when you hear the "deception", it's already a loaded term. Given most of us here grew up indoctrinated in western thought, we're now fighting up-hill to demonstrate a meaningful distinction which eastern cultures take for granted.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#90
post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you have any evidence that those murders occur _within_ their communities by people raised like this?

>Do you have any evidence that those murders occur _within_ their communities by people raised like this? No, do you have any evidence that they are NOT raised like this?

The Inuit are around 4% of Canada's Indigenous population, so I'd be surprised if many of the people committing those murders were raised with this particular traditional Inuit anger-management strategy.
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