> I produce music for a living - FIVE days without my computer is unacceptable Then get two computers as a backup? While here it's Apple's issue, it could just as well be your fault that the laptop died (e.g. dropping it). Then you wouldn't have any laptop, but also no justification to demand an immediate replacement or deem not receiving one "unacceptable"...
A laptop going into flames is generally a manufacturer's fault. If one were to damage the machine through fault of their own, they wouldn't demand a replacement.