Perhaps people of my age were lucky to have had this:
‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
81–90 of 669 posts
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#82There was a nytimes article about a famous author giving advice to young authors about keep trying, you can do anything. Meanwhile he didn't say he lived off a large inheritance. I think in the arts world its often the only real way and its a problem that people are encouraged to follow their dreams.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#83I think the parents of many 20 and 30-somethings played a role in so many young(ish) adults failing to launch. American parents could learn a thing or two about parenting from previous generations and from a lot of immigrant families: nobody owes you anything, plan for a rainy day, find a partner you love and commit to them, work hard, cherish friends and family even when it's difficult, etc. I think parenting has ov…
> It's a shame to see.
Really depends what you want from life doenst it? It becomes problematic when people do it without realizing the consequences.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#84I feel sorry for the person in the article, but it seems curious to me that this reached the top of hacker news...
Am I missing something?
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#85Her story is sad. She seems lost, and I do not think she was helped very well by Polly. A lot of people feeling lost nowadays end up on the wrong side of 40 with little to show for it. It is heartbreaking to watch and must be terribly difficult for the families and people involved.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#86I don’t think the message “35-year old is still very young” is useful. Life is really hard and is contant suffering. You might die at 95 year-old, but you might die tomorrow. Taking responsibilities instead of blaming the world is often the only way to go.
35 years is still very young in the sense that you can still begin a new career.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#87Perhaps people of my age were lucky to have had this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdQbb3FXSEI
Full Lyrics:
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99 Wear Sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Sunscreen would be it
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience... I will dispense this advice now...
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...
You are not as fat as you imagine
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours
Floss
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults, if you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
Stretch
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life... the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary... what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's
Enjoy your body,use it every way you can...don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own
Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good Be nice to your siblings, they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get the more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard, live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise politicians will philander you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable politicians were noble and children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Don't expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth
But trust me on the sunscreen
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#88Earlier quoted context omitted.
Conceding your every point for the sake of argument: what use is any of that to 'Haunted' right now? It's hardly going to come as a surprise that adult life involves tradeoffs; she's speaking from a place where she has belatedly recognized that fact, and feels as if she's made every one of them wrongly. If the purpose is to help 'Haunted' - or those reading along who find 'Haunted' painfully relatable - make more of…
"Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does." — Jean Paul Sartre, (French existentialist)
'Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.' — apocryphally also Sartre, but really who cares? Wisdom is wisdom.
To your quote: responsibility, sure, but its corollary is authority, and they exist together in precisely identical degree. Just as we bear the burden, if it is one, of the stories we write of our lives - we do nonetheless retain the ability to write whatever stories of ourselves we choose.
Sartre may consider that a condemnation. I can imagine no more liberating conception of life.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#89I might have started from the "I’m drinking too much" part and raised that as the most important thing to address. Sometimes it's the result, sure, but more often it's the cause.
Re: ‘I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life’
#90This is not meant to sound like an off the cuff comment, it is not, a lot of thought has gone into this: Remember this piece before you argue with someone that they should move away from their friends, family, their support systems for work or other development opportunities. It Takes A Village, and your local support system is not to be underestimated. In the end, all we have is family and/or loved ones ("chosen fam…
>Remember this piece before you argue with someone that they should move away from their friends, family, their support systems for work or other development opportunities. Blood is certainly thicker than water as they say, for good and for evil. I used to think exactly as you stated the above and I don't mean to suggest how rigid you are but my recent experience with family is that relationships must go both ways, a…
This is a great point, though it's also why I had bought into the move away from your network for opportunity mentality for so long.
Of course I'll leave my immediate family for opportunity - in my case, they're terrible people who posed a detriment to my future.
On the other hand I never learned how to function as part of a community of people (family, friends, whatever), and am left feeling like I have no support system. Which is apparently super important, but I only realize that now at 30 instead of earlier. :(