81–90 of 105 posts
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With 2649 days on HN, how do you not realize that the only reason someone would downvote your post is because you're pre-empting downvotes? That one addition to your post turned it into a passive-aggressive rant. Well done speaking your mind, I guess?
That's not true. People dv here for pretty petty reasons all the time.
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I think she blogged about this because it's a very small incident, but it had a very powerful effect on her. I worked at a womens' clothing store for a while and I often felt like my opinion wasn't valued. The staff was mostly made up of women and I was treated inappropriately in the form of sexual harassment and unprofessional workplace conversations. I tried my best to keep out of it but I must admit I made mistake…
> I think she blogged about this because it's a very small incident, but it had a very powerful effect on her. If it's a very small incident, why is it such a big deal for her? Especially compared to the real harrassment by her mentor in the car? > Over time this began to really bother me simply because of how small and benign it should have been. Well, did you ask your coworker why she did that? Being an adult also…
As a followup to the thing I went through: I did confront my coworker. I spent a few weeks feeling like I couldn't bring it up because it's so small. This particular lady had always treated me funny so I didn't expect the conversation to go well. She said this was how they did it at her house (separating mugs) and I shouldn't care about it. I was the only dude on the staff so it just felt like I was being isolated from the group with mugs! I felt immature for even bringing it up. She stopped doing it for a while but when she switched shifts I'd get in the next day and see she'd done it again... it still makes me irrationally angry.
Now I just don't drink coffee, haha. XD
Also some seat belts are non-obvious, especially in a fancy sports car, and people help other people with seat belts all the time. Perhaps the driver has given a lot of people rides in his fancy car and has seen many people struggle with it. Perhaps x seconds didn't seem long to her but to him, who knows how it works, it seemed like she was having a problem.
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I feel like it is a diversity issue, albeit not of the usual kind, and it is not exclusive to groups whose identity is strongly linked to gender. All groups will try and preserve their own identity, because if they don't, they stop existing. I'm merely making an observation here, not condoning the actions of groups. This kind of behaviour may seem harmless in some situations, but then also fuels some of the worst ins…
I see where you're coming from but I disagree with the argument, because it only holds up under the assumption that they acted this way mainly to preserve the group identity. The simpler explanation is that the group made a democratic choice and she was unhappy with thre result.
The interesting thing is that most people assume that democracy is inclusive, because everybody has a voice, but in this case, the inclusive thing to do would have been to watch something that only one person wanted to watch, to make them as a minority, comfortable, whereas the democratic thing to do is to ignore the opinion of the minority as not relevant to the views of the group.
Where the discussion becomes difficult, I guess, is when the dividing line between majority and minority coincides with that of privileged (PS. I hate what this word has come to mean) and unprivileged.
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The implication is that the rest of the team felt comfortable enough in that environment that they could change the channel without even having to ask, while OP was loudly ridiculed for wanting to change the channel in a more polite way. The rest of the team felt comfortable with the team dynamic in a way that OP did not, and by ridiculing her, they made it clear that her desires were less important than theirs, thus…
What happend to democracy lately ?
you may be thinking about a 'Republic', in which the rights of the minority are protected, but THIS is democracy in ACTION.
And about Mike, the one that changed the channel for the joke, has she thought that he was well known for doing that kind of jokes and because of it he was confident doing them and people didn't mind at all?
Maybe OP got personal because of her own insecurities and didn't even bother to consider that her interpretation was wrong.
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Still nothing to do with gender.
That is not the point. She is complaining that they were 5 to 10 person watching a TV show, another guy comes in and wants to change the channel, not even considering asking the other people why they watched something different that day. Not about gender, not about sports, just shows total social incompetence.
I think the way the community has reacted to this post is pretty disgusting and I think says way more than the actual post does about sexism in engineering
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I thought the same on first reading. But now I think the author felt the first more strongly because it made her feel "not even worth consideration" rather than "merely" objectified, which presumably is something she might have more familiarity/ability to cope with.
Still nothing to do with gender.