Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

cbc.ca

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

791–800 of 1001 posts

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#791

Post by wyldfire »

iamleppert wrote: post #768
atomicnumber3 wrote: post #16

Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…

I couldn’t imagine bringing a child into this messed up world. I really feel we are at the beginning of a mass extinction and future generations, no matter how rich and well off physically, will be destined to a life of suffering.

> I really feel we are at the beginning of a mass extinction

Presumably that extinction would take place several generations from now? One great way to avoid or slow extinction would be to procreate.

> this messed up world

As bad as things might be, aren't they way way way way better than they were in previous generations? Before Russia invaded Ukraine we were on a really great streak of very little warfare on Earth (relative to decades and centuries before). Fewer people are facing malnutrition and disease from centuries before. Many countries are much more egalitarian and less corrupt than they were centuries before.

I think maybe you are taking too many things for granted that are really quite good in modern times.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#792

Post by racl101 »

vsnf wrote: post #553

The vibe in this thread is so hostile, and the most vociferous posts are from the pro-children side of the debate. I have no deeper comment to make here, I just find it a little shocking how aggressive half the posts are.

I don't see hostile comments and I'm not pro-children. I do, however, see strong opinions on this matter which is expected.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#793

Post by thinkingtoilet »

conradludgate wrote: post #353

Why are people so obsessed about it I have children? I'm married and we've decided we don't want to have kids. It really bothers me when people say "oh you're missing out, that's such a shame". Please think about what you are saying. It doesn't matter if I'm gay, infertile, poor, depressed, or just don't want them. Please keep your judgements to yourself or even just stop judging others.

I have kids and I actively tell people not to have kids if you don't really really really want them. It's not a pleasant experience most of the time. You do you. I'm not judging you at all.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#794

Post by anthonypasq »

jassmith87 wrote: post #781
anthonypasq wrote: post #730

Earlier quoted context omitted.

definitely a fall i would say. 80% of women who do not have children, either actually wanted children but couldnt have them, or regret not having them. the fertility crisis is a complete disaster on an incredible amount of levels for people and society. The fact governments arent doing more to address this is mind boggling check out this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3i0uJ9IcQ-0

Regret implies you wouldn't have regretted the other option, which is often not the case. It is entirely possible, and sometimes likely that you will regret your decision no matter which decision you make.

are hackernews commenters legally obligated to chime in with intense pedantry that is completely irrelevant to the larger point in order to feel like they are smarter than the person theyre responding to?

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#795

Post by red-iron-pine »

bluGill wrote: post #633
Defletter wrote: post #336

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's wild that, not too long ago, you could afford a house and a car on a single income as a mailman. That is unthinkable today. We understand there are ways to be successful, but it's like that saying: anyone can be successful, but everyone can't. I know a lot of people who spend their money on experiences because they genuinely believe they won't get a retirement, so they might as well enjoy their life while they c…

In 1950 you could afford a car and house on one income - but that house as much smaller than the typical house today. You also had one car not two, your wife (this was sexist times - men worked, women stayed home) probably didn't even have a drivers license. If she did she couldn't drive anywhere when you were at work unless she drove you to work. (thus door to door salesmen: sell things those housewives need but can…

In the 1950s the world had gone through two (2) gigantic world wars, one recently, which completely collapsed multiple global empires, killed millions -- especially the young, fit men who are the backbone of the economy -- and devastated multiple countries, many of which were big developed economies.

the US, and certain parts of Europe, were mostly spared this, and as a result could make crazy money because they were the only source of advanced labor around.

it wasn't like that in the Guilded Age or Roaring 20s or Great Depression -- there was a reason all of those labor movements and riots happened then; wouldn't have happened if a one-income mailman could buy a house.

that was a one-off, a time when half the world blew up a few years before.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#796

Post by baq »

cntrmmbrpsswrd wrote: post #617
silisili wrote: post #397

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes they can. People are just too selfish and think of kids as costing lattes and ruining their free time. Believe it or not, kids don't have to be expensive as reports have you believe. They can go to public school, wear hand me downs or walmart clothes, and eat what would have been leftovers. Most coworkers with kids I've spoken with complain about costs of daycare, babysitting, and Montessori schools. We pay for n…

The idea that not having kids is a selfish act is ridiculous and needs to end.

It is.

Who will buy your products and services 20-30 years from today?

If the question sounds ridiculous, trust me it isn't. You can look at demographics of China, or if you don't particularly care about that but care about finance, long duration government debt.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#797

Post by mistermann »

mdorazio wrote: post #647
lolinder wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is unnecessarily confrontational and inaccurate. According to census.gov, the current national homeownership rate is hovering at about 66%, which is about the same rate that it's been (+/- 3%) since they started tracking in 1964 [0][1]. This isn't restricted to old people either: 49% of 30 to 34 year olds and 58% of 35 to 39 year olds owned a home in Q4 2023 [2]. There are certainly regional differences in housi…

Ownership is not affordability, which is the point of the parent poster that you're ignoring entirely. Recent headline: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/homes-for-sale-affordable-housi...

> Ownership is not affordability, which is the point of the parent poster that you're ignoring entirely.

Exactly....it'd be hilarious if figuring out this abstract phenomenon is the key to figuring out the object level phenomenon.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#798

Post by Balgair »

11101010001100 wrote: post #727
sethammons wrote: post #475

Earlier quoted context omitted.

fwiw every 40yo I know who had kids at that age wish they did it earlier when they had more energy. Wealth building is easier in your 40s however for most

I didn't realize how physical raising a kid is. The chasing, the lifting, the playing ... they don't stop!

For those without kiddos:

Hold a 10lbs weight on your arm for three hours (simulates an infant trying to fall asleep in your arms). Do this for six months, three times a day.

Lift a 20lbs bag of rice off the floor to your hips once every 20 seconds for two hours (simulates a toddling-walking child wanting up). Do this for a three years, six times a day.

Get up off the floor in a hurry once every five minutes for two hours (simulates the toddler-child doing something they shouldn't). Do this, I dunno, forever.

Lift a 40lbs bag of dog food over your head every five minutes for 4 hours (simulates an older child wanting to play). Do this for 10 years, five times a day.

There is a lot of other 'cardio' like things mixed in too. But the above should give a sample of the physicality of child rearing. It's a lot of low weight, very high rep, long workout, long interval, isostatic exercise. You're mostly holding things near your center of mass for very long times, adjusting between arms. And you have to get up off the floor a lot in a big hurry.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#799

Post by bsdpufferfish »

conradludgate wrote: post #353

Why are people so obsessed about it I have children? I'm married and we've decided we don't want to have kids. It really bothers me when people say "oh you're missing out, that's such a shame". Please think about what you are saying. It doesn't matter if I'm gay, infertile, poor, depressed, or just don't want them. Please keep your judgements to yourself or even just stop judging others.

> but how do my personal decisions affect society?

You don’t live in a bubble. It does matter.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#800

Post by baq »

beltsazar wrote: post #345
bongodongobob wrote: post #75

You're baffled people aren't having kids? What bubble do you live in? People straight up can't afford housing much less children. The avg American is completely priced out of owning a home right now. Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. Visit an average family in the Midwest with a household income of < $100k/yr that doesn't own a home yet.

> Edit: the replies - y'all are out of touch. If you're in the minority, maybe you're the one who's out of touch? It's not that they can't afford having children—many of those who are less fortunate than them still have children. It's just that they think the cost of raising children, which likely affects their current lifestyle, is not worth it.

Spot on - opportunity cost of having kids is way too high for high earner middle class.
Post reply on HN