Earlier quoted context omitted.
You're confusing bad actors with bad behavior . Bad behavior is something good people do from time to time because they get really worked up about a specific topic or two. Bad actors are people who act bad all the time. There may be some of those but they're not the majority by far (and yes, sometimes normal people turn into bad actors because they get upset about a given thing that they can't talk about anything els…
I think that's right. One benefit this has: if you can make the moderation about behavior (I prefer the word effects [1]) rather than about the person, then you have a chance to persuade them to behave differently. Some people, maybe even most, adjust their behavior in response to feedback. Over time, this can compound into community-level effects (culture etc.) - that's the hope, anyhow. I think I've seen such chang…
I use this tactic with my kids when they do something wrong. Occasionally I slip up and really lay into them, but almost all of the time these days I tell them that I love them, I think they are capable of doing the right thing, but I didn't love some action they did or didn't do and I explain why. They may not be happy with this always, or with the natural (& parent-imposed) consequences of their actions, but it reinforces that they have a choice to do good in the future even if they slip up from time to time. If all of us were immutably identified by the worst thing we ever did, no one would have any incentive to change.
Thanks for the thoughtful & insightful comment, dang.