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Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

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Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#781

Post by jassmith87 »

anthonypasq wrote: post #730
silverquiet wrote: post #714

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder - do you think the drop in fertility represents a rise in overall life satisfaction or a fall? I hadn't thought about it much myself, but it seems like it could go either way.

definitely a fall i would say. 80% of women who do not have children, either actually wanted children but couldnt have them, or regret not having them. the fertility crisis is a complete disaster on an incredible amount of levels for people and society. The fact governments arent doing more to address this is mind boggling check out this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3i0uJ9IcQ-0

Regret implies you wouldn't have regretted the other option, which is often not the case. It is entirely possible, and sometimes likely that you will regret your decision no matter which decision you make.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#782

Post by thfuran »

nostrademons wrote: post #687
pc86 wrote: post #637

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of problems highlighted in the Bay Are and other [insanely expensive, dense urban areas in the US] are unique to them. Nobody is calmly walking through a Walgreens in western Minnesota shoving everything they can into bags and walking out the front door while 30 people record it. Nobody is putting glitter bombs in bags for news articles in rural Missouri. Maybe shifts in housing dynamics happen first in cities…

Bay Area is usually just 10-15 years ahead of the rest of the country, because it's a region that culturally tends to embrace the future (good and bad) and run toward it. Bay Area in 2000 was complaining about illegal immigration, bilingual education, and the lights not staying on, all of which are contemporary issues facing the rest of America from 2015 onward. Bay Area in 2010 was in relative boom times from the te…

>the lights not staying on, all of which are contemporary issues facing the rest of America from 2015 onward

Texas is hardly the rest of America.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#783

Post by _fat_santa »

iamleppert wrote: post #768
atomicnumber3 wrote: post #16

Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…

I couldn’t imagine bringing a child into this messed up world. I really feel we are at the beginning of a mass extinction and future generations, no matter how rich and well off physically, will be destined to a life of suffering.

> this messed up world

IMO the world might be messed up compared to the 80's or 90's, but take a broader look and we have never had it better than today. The average person living in the western world today has a standard of living high above what even nobility or kings would have in the middle ages and I would venture to say even a higher standard of living than the Vanderbilts or Rockerfellers did during the gilded age.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#784

Post by NoMoreNicksLeft »

leoedin wrote: post #508
NoMoreNicksLeft wrote: post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Technically that makes everyone who's over the age of 60 a sort of parasite. That doesn't mean we look down on them. Is a childless teacher refusing to do their part to create the next generation? Arguably a good teacher can have more impact on society than any parent will. How about someone who invents a technology that has decades long repercussions. George Washington didn't have children. Was he a parasite taking…

> Technically that makes everyone who's over the age of 60 a sort of parasite. That doesn't mean we look down on them.

No, they just frontloaded their contribution. Nothing in the definition says that it has to perfectly meter out its contribution to the symbiosis so that there's never a second where it's not giving some little portion.

> Is a childless teacher refusing to do their part to create the next generation?

I've seen what teachers do, firsthand. It'd be better for everyone if they just sat it out and did nothing. So they're pretty far into the negative.

> but I'm not naive enough to think that people without kids are all parasites.

Nothing naive about it. It's just the definition of parasitism. Taking from the host, giving nothing in return. Sure, some may have some medical issues that prevent it... they have my sympathy. Maybe that's Georgie W's excuse, dunno. But for those that make it a choice, yes, 110% parasite.

> I think a healthy society has a balance of people doing different things

There's nothing healthy about a society that doesn't make the next generation.

> and it's definitely not for everyone.

The trouble is that it really is for everyone. If you think that someone else can have children for you, then you don't get to make society. Which might be a bit of a problem for you, considering that you live in it.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#785

Post by sirbranedamuj »

atomicnumber3 wrote: post #16

Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…

Anecdata: I am 33 and have 0 kids. I make good money but, due to poor financial literacy at a young age, I am shackled with a hefty amount of student loan debt well into my 30s. My 20s were financially precarious and it would've been irresponsible to bring a child into the mix. Would've been nice, but it just wasn't going to happen.

I don't think that my specific situation applies to everyone, but I also don't expect I'm alone on this one.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#786

Post by baq »

atomicnumber3 wrote: post #16

Anecdata: I am 31 and have 3 young kids. They have 0 cousins and, on top of that, 0... second cousins? Cousins-once-removed? Whatever the one is for my cousin's kids. My kids are my grandma's only great-grandkids. And I have... 6 cousins. On top of that, at my last job, on my team of 15, I was the only one with kids, and only 1 of those 15 engineers were under the age of 30. At my current job, my team is 8, and again…

Being a good parent is a hard job and yet if you want to be one, you're expected to pay for it with both your money and your time.

No wonder the middle class people don't want to have kids. The poorest think differently - they treat kids as an investment because that's the only investment they can have at all. The richest also treat kids as investment, for different reasons. The middle class is childless - can't afford to have the best standard of raising children, so they think they shouldn't have any - and they don't.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#788

Post by NoMoreNicksLeft »

dghhddgg wrote: post #269
NoMoreNicksLeft wrote: post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

He is no more parasite than you are. He is working, creating value for society, capturing only a portion of the value he creates, and deploying that value through consumption of experiences and services. The fact that you would prefer he spent his money on children, instead of on other experiences, is irrelevant. Your desire to control other peoples spending, and to vilify them, for it, shows only that you are an imm…

> It is somewhat sad, that an immoral, authoritarian, freedom, hating, asshole, such as yourself might have children. I

Already have two. My daughter tells me she wants to have six. That seems ambitious, I'd be happy if she has three.

I guess from your perspective this really is sad. That makes me happier than I already was. If you weren't so sad, maybe you could do something about it. My descendants will tell each other stories and legends of the sad childless people who couldn't be bothered to shape society and create the next generation of people, and how they'd just throw barbless insults at those who did.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#789

Post by red-iron-pine »

mlrtime wrote: post #635
Runways wrote: post #263

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Texan here. Your ad hominem attack is BS. Our house prices, North of Dallas and deep in the suburbs - far from the bay areas and Seattles, have doubled. That includes my home. People in our profession usually have to live by big cities, like Dallas. But the homes are ridiculously priced and it's insane. My juniors have no hope of owning a home that is big enough to raise a family without years of saving. And they're…

There is still more affordable housing in TX than anywhere in the US. Texas is building more than any other state (Florida is close). I just drove by a new development [in TX], with brand new homes that start at 1800/mo for a 3 Bedroom. Financing by the developer. So if you get out of Dallas or Austin you will find affordable housing.

if you get out Dallas or Austin... where are the jobs?

the number of people working remotely, even now, is still comparatively small.

doesn't matter if the housing rates are 50% lower if your only options are minimum wage at some chain (dollar general, chik fil a, etc.), or scraping for one of the few non-wagie gigs.

that doesn't fix the problem, that just means you're getting paid less, while house prices may have roughly the same ratio of income-to-cost that you'd find in DFW or ATX.

and in exchange now you need a car, need to drive constantly, and have fewer amenities and choices (maybe save for access to churches or walmarts).

shit, even far flung burbs of Austin like Taylor and Hutto are getting pricy compared to when I was last out there. Hutto Hippo oughta make a reappearance and start eating the carpetbaggers who keep moving in around there.

Re: Cousins are disappearing. Is this reshaping the experience of childhood?

#790

Post by baq »

2024throwaway wrote: post #707
nemo44x wrote: post #697

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Every single parent I'd wager that made those sacrifices and raised their family would tell you it was the best thing they ever did and that they'd do it again. If you've never been a parent you can't possibly understand it at all.

I am currently a parent and still don’t understand it. Why risk one medical bill ruining everyone’s life? They aren’t that cute.

That's a terrible situation unique to US - but lack of children is not unique to the US, so there must be more to it.
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