Many of the more reasonable criticisms of the memo say that it wasn't written well enough; it could've been more considerate, it should have used better language, or better presentation. In this particular link, Scott Alexander is used as an example of better writing, and he certainly is one of the best and most persuasive modern writers I've found. However, I can not imagine ever matching his talent and output, even…
There are many, many reasonable criticisms of the memo that do not focus on writing style. Here are a few examples - https://www.wired.com/story/the-pernicious-science-of-james-... https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/aug/13/james-dam... https://www.quora.com/What-do-scientists-think-about-the-bio...
"The e-mail Larry Page should have written to James Damore"
https://www.economist.com/news/21726276-last-week-paper-said...