Live data from Hacker News

Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

susanjfowler.com

771–780 of 1001 posts

Re: Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

#771
post #571

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We should teach our sons to truly respect women. We should teach our sons to be respectful honest decent human beings. We should teach our sons to not be assholes who think they are entitled to a woman’s body. We should teach our sons to be humans with emotions and empathy for others. We should teach our sons to not be toxic despicable entitled pathetic beings. It’s on us (men). If we behave badly, it’s squarely on u…

You're missing a huge part of the problem here. People with power are the ones who need to be "taught" (punished). This behavior can only occur repeatedly when someone can get away with it, because they have power. If they don't have power, they are punished (often harshly), and a rational person will not repeat that behavior. Your blanket approach is completely ridiculous. You act like the problem is that men aren't…

I have zero power now but have the potential to have it. If I don't know how to behave like a decent human around my female coworkers and peers right now, I would have no idea how to do this when I have more power (e.g. become a manager). But, then, I'd have the power to cause irreparable emotional and societal damage. If I don't know how to act like a rational reasonable human being who respects others no matter their background or gender, this won't change. All that will change is that I have the authority to cause great damage.

I don't know much and I certainly don't claim to know much. All I know is that if we (men) don't curb our own behavior, we're the one squarely at fault.

I'm so tired of this "not all men" attitude. As someone who gets paid to make fact-based decisions all day, I cannot possibly ignore this ridiculous argument that women are at fault. No, way. Yes, anything is possible but the scenario you're proposing is so rare that is an anomaly. Get off that horse, dude. Stop being on the wrong side of history.

Re: Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

#772
post #756

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good luck. I'll never join. I know what you guys want (because enough of you have stated it on HN): no more H1Bs and to make sure I never find a job again because I'm a foreigner. I'll scab that union till kingdom come.

Actually I'd prefer if my country would just naturalize you instead of running you through an exploitative guest worker program that hedges your visa status on continued employment. I have absolutely no desire to prevent you from getting a job (and I'd like the union to have a spot for you and ensure you share in the benefits we create by collectively bargaining).

Sure, you might. But any such union will have a large number of disaffected people and as HN has shown, a large number of these people blame H1B workers.

Their problem is that this visa exists. My problem is getting naturalised. Our incentives are not aligned and they've made that clear.

I want no part of it and I will actively participate in union busting to the greatest of my ability for this reason.

I don't think you can achieve greater than 2% penetration amongst employed engineers and I know that your system will threaten the 1.7% of engineers who are H1B workers. I think I'm in a reasonable position here and I'm not about to weaken myself. And I think everyone else is going to work through the same calculus.

Sorry, it's not you. It's who are likely going to be your comrades.

Re: Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

#773

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hijacking this top comment to provide some personal experiences. I started as an engineer in the spring of 2014 and this was definitely the case there. Top engineers were being poached from Google/FB and these people were trying to carve out territory in a quickly growing engineering team. The misogynistic culture, in my mind, comes from most of the early employees being former frat bros. Culture was extremely heavy…

Just curious, what happens to employees who don't drink?

They dehidrate and crumble.

Re: Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

#774

Whenever I hear about a case of a woman being harassed at work, I can't help but wonder how I would react in a similar situation. I am male and I have never experienced workplace harrassment, but if a female co-worker started writing things like those in the story I can't imagine that it would annoy me the slightest. If she was attractive, I would probably be flattered. If it _did_ annoy me, I would ask the person to…

Your comment pretty much sums up the prevailing misogynist attitude that gives rise to the kind of workplace culture Susan Fowler is describing.

> if that didn't help, I might contact her husband as a retaliation

I honestly can't believe you wrote that. If it was an exact replica of the scenario with the genders reversed, the husband probably wouldn't mind anyway (well, maybe would be bothered by the inappropriateness of it, but open relationships are open relationships and you can't assume the husband would think that it was a bad thing because you don't know what his idea of relationship ethics is), but your response to workplace harrassment would be to harrass their spouse instead? Not to go through HR? On a purely practical level, can you imagine working on that person's team after you'd done something like that?

> Is it a female-thing to take these sort of situations so seriously, or maybe a personality trait?

Okay. Imagine that you turn up somewhere to work. You've got your tech skills and your experience and you're all ready to go. Then your manager's initial interactions with you makes it quite clear that she views you as a prospective sexual partner. She's not got to know you first, you've not had time to demonstrate your professional capabilities to her, she's just propositioning you out of the blue. Would you really not find this problematic?

Please bear in mind, being female in US and British culture can be pretty unpleasant at times, with a continued attitude held by a lot of men that it's perfectly okay to proposition strangers in the street in loud voices, or shout suggestive comments at them, or demand "just a smile, love" or a conversation like it's their right to have a conversation with you, or that you _owe_ them a conversation. Imagine you're a woman in the tech industry, where women are chronically under-represented.

For you or me, as men, we might find such an incident as this slightly novel and interesting. If we've spent our _entire lives_ dealing with unwanted and unsolicited sexual advances and comments and innuendo, with media representations of our gender as little more than objects of male desire, and then we get such comments, can't you imagine that we might just feel a _little bit fed up_?

FTR I'm a gay white cisgender male living in England, so I'm still doing this on 'easy mode'. I've encountered almost zero homophobic behaviour in the workplace, for which I'm very grateful. But I've also always worked in companies which made explicit statements about supporting equality and diversity, and in a country in which it was made illegal before I started my professional life to discriminate on the grounds of sexuality. I've not had to test that legislation, but at least it is there, and we also don't have at-will employment.

Re: Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

#775

>On my first official day rotating on the team, my new manager sent me a string of messages over company chat. He was in an open relationship, he said, and his girlfriend was having an easy time finding new partners but he wasn't. Totally normal behavior! Who hasn't spoken about their sex life the very first day of interactions? "Welcome to the team, we use Git for source control, all of our company knowledgebase is…

I would guess that this happens more often than you imagine. Women often don't share stories like this for fear of retribution at their current company or future companies, or because they think you won't believe them. In addition NDA's are often a condition of receiving severance. Most women in Silicon Valley have had experiences similar to those mentioned in the article (HR disbelief, multiple women reporting same…

Well, it sounds like she quit, wasn't fired/laid off, so a severence package probably doesn't apply (although if the rumors about how bad Uber is to work at are true, perhaps they do offer severance packages to those quitting...).

Re: Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

#776
post #772

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Actually I'd prefer if my country would just naturalize you instead of running you through an exploitative guest worker program that hedges your visa status on continued employment. I have absolutely no desire to prevent you from getting a job (and I'd like the union to have a spot for you and ensure you share in the benefits we create by collectively bargaining).

Sure, you might. But any such union will have a large number of disaffected people and as HN has shown, a large number of these people blame H1B workers. Their problem is that this visa exists. My problem is getting naturalised. Our incentives are not aligned and they've made that clear. I want no part of it and I will actively participate in union busting to the greatest of my ability for this reason. I don't think…

No comrades of mine would see guest workers or immigrants as a threat. I wouldn't join a union that didn't stick up for all workers, regardless of their citizenship status.

Maybe we have different perspectives on how popular the anti-immigrant position is in tech (and how many neo-reactionary/dark enlightenment dipshits there are), I guess I'd just ask that you keep an open mind about this and make a decision if and when workers approach you to join a union. I certainly wouldn't knock you for opposing a group that doesn't have your interests at heart, but the union I want to form would take solidarity seriously and would explicitly go to bat for women, people of color, lgbtqia people, disabled people, and immigrants.

Re: Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

#777
post #772

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure, you might. But any such union will have a large number of disaffected people and as HN has shown, a large number of these people blame H1B workers. Their problem is that this visa exists. My problem is getting naturalised. Our incentives are not aligned and they've made that clear. I want no part of it and I will actively participate in union busting to the greatest of my ability for this reason. I don't think…

No comrades of mine would see guest workers or immigrants as a threat. I wouldn't join a union that didn't stick up for all workers, regardless of their citizenship status. Maybe we have different perspectives on how popular the anti-immigrant position is in tech (and how many neo-reactionary/dark enlightenment dipshits there are), I guess I'd just ask that you keep an open mind about this and make a decision if and…

Very well. Fair enough.

I would advise any other immigrant reading that if they are approached by union representatives to demand a clause guaranteeing permanent residence reform and removal of the 7% limit before any anti-H1B action is taken. In the absence of this clause, all Indian and Chinese workers (at the least, and everyone probably) are placing themselves at risk of deportation.

Refusal to add such a clause or delay in doing so is evidence of actively undermining your interests.

Re: Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

#778
post #774

Whenever I hear about a case of a woman being harassed at work, I can't help but wonder how I would react in a similar situation. I am male and I have never experienced workplace harrassment, but if a female co-worker started writing things like those in the story I can't imagine that it would annoy me the slightest. If she was attractive, I would probably be flattered. If it _did_ annoy me, I would ask the person to…

Your comment pretty much sums up the prevailing misogynist attitude that gives rise to the kind of workplace culture Susan Fowler is describing. > if that didn't help, I might contact her husband as a retaliation I honestly can't believe you wrote that. If it was an exact replica of the scenario with the genders reversed, the husband probably wouldn't mind anyway (well, maybe would be bothered by the inappropriatenes…

> but your response to workplace harrassment would be to harrass their spouse instead?

Not as a first resort of course. But if you involve HR, you might get the 'harassing' person fired and take away his/her livelihood, even though that person might be very productive and an important asset to the company. Just because a number of people were offended. It wasn't like he was violent towards them or anything according to the story.

> Please bear in mind, being female in US and British culture can be pretty unpleasant at times, with a continued attitude held by a lot of men that it's perfectly okay to proposition strangers in the street in loud voices, or shout suggestive comments at them, or demand "just a smile, love" or a conversation like it's their right to have a conversation with you, or that you _owe_ them a conversation. Imagine you're a woman in the tech industry, where women are chronically under-represented.

Yeah, but what are you going to do about that? Some women and men will be flattered by such remarks by strangers, some won't. We have very different sensibilities.

How will you solve the underrepresentation of women in tech? By forcing more women to take jobs they may not be interested in? By forcing companies to hire more women because 'gender diversity'?

> For you or me, as men, we might find such an incident as this slightly novel and interesting. If we've spent our _entire lives_ dealing with unwanted and unsolicited sexual advances and comments and innuendo, with media representations of our gender as little more than objects of male desire, and then we get such comments, can't you imagine that we might just feel a _little bit fed up_?

But is that really the case? Do media generally portrait women the way you describe? Not in my experience. Do women go through life fighting every day dealing with these advances and comments? Not that I've heard from my female friends.

Re: Reflecting on one very, very strange year at Uber

#779

>On my first official day rotating on the team, my new manager sent me a string of messages over company chat. He was in an open relationship, he said, and his girlfriend was having an easy time finding new partners but he wasn't. Totally normal behavior! Who hasn't spoken about their sex life the very first day of interactions? "Welcome to the team, we use Git for source control, all of our company knowledgebase is…

> I can't fathom what kind of weirdo does something like this, male or female. People who get off on violating other people's boundaries.

Or who can get away with it.
Post reply on HN