Ask HN: Are you ok?

It sounds like you're a teenager taking some college courses while finishing high school? Or an early admit for college?

I did that too. I started taking college courses when I was 11. It really sucked when I blew out the curve in the class and 18/19 year old kids wanted to beat me up for it (I can't entirely blame them, but luckily the prof was cool and threw my grade out of the curve).

I ended up only doing college in summers -- I never took the option to go full time in college. Some other kids in my program did. One of them really wanted to get into CalTech, but they denied him, saying he wasn't well rounded enough. So the next year he joined every club on campus and tried to be President of as many as possible.

He burned out and had to take a year off from all school.

I tell you all of this to tell you that you are not alone, there are other people out there who have been there with you.

> I feel like I over-invest in everything I do and it often hurts

If that's how you feel, you should cut back. Burning out before you hit your 20s isn't good. If you do one or two less clubs or activities, it won't really make much difference in your life.

> first I have a feeling of imposter syndrome when it comes to learning

We all do, especially when you're in college at such a young age. But just imagine how all the older kids feel seeing you there. They probably feel like much bigger imposters than you!

> I'm worried about being a class in which I have a hard time following the professor or the assignments seem unclear

Go to office hours and ask for help. Profs don't look down on you for doing this, they look up to you for being responsible. And if you still can't do it, just drop the class. There is no shame in dropping a class that just isn't for you.

> I'm struggling with questions such as whether I'll be able to get into top colleges,

You're starting college early, you'll almost certainly get into a top college if you keep your grades up. I had a 3.1 GPA in high school, but simultaneously had a 3.5 in my college classes, which counted as a 4.5 for admissions, so I still got into Berkeley.

> or even the worth of getting into such programs assuming that financial aid is hard to come by.

Usually top colleges make sure you can attend. Harvard is free if your parents make less than $60K a year, and I think Stanford is too.

And I don't think the private companies ever turn down anyone for loans. Getting money for college is easy (too easy), the big question is if you are getting sufficient value for that money.

Hang in there buddy, and don't stress so much. Enjoy being a care-free teen without responsibilities while you still can.

I'm not too bad, but I am worried about my father. He's almost 70 and still runs a stressful business with high liability that has been declining for several years. He went from having several million dollars in the bank to being in six-figure debt. Most of that went up in smoke keeping the business alive, the other part went toward trying to find a way to keep my step-mother from dying. Basically visiting anyone who could give them hope after the doctors gave up. I didn't have the heart at the time to tell them that these places they were going were politely robbing them of money.

He wants to sell his business for next to nothing because it's too stressful and instead wants to try picking up programming for his next business idea. I've been supportive because I think he'd actually be good at running a web-based business, but he is really awful with computers and won't accept the fact. I'm going to help him as best I can, but if that doesn't work out things are going to start getting pretty grim.

I'll add to the list here.

No. I see a therapist but it doesn't help. Ultimately I'm burnt out. The startup I'm working at doesn't have good numbers anymore (not like any startup I've been at ever has). I can't get a job at FAANG (I've done their onsites about a dozen times). I live in the most expensive region in the USA. I only receive a salary from a startup and stock is obviously worthless. My SO is committed to a lifestyle of either A) not working or B) having jobs that will never pay more than what she consumes. I'm supporting her through college by paying all of our rent, most of our food (which she requires to all be wildly overpriced), all of every vacation, and so forth. She is getting a degree that has no correlation with a job. She has no plans to get a real job. She is committed to a hedonistic lifestyle where her lover will provide everything for her. It's utterly annoying and immature. But she's smart and I hope she will learn. (And try to care about my suffering a bit to change her ways)

The fact that this dynamic will never change is what kills me most. I have no hope. I'm under so much financial pressure to make two to three times what I am making now and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Moving just isn't an option because I'm perpetually unhappy with my jobs (due to a lack of pay). I need a lot of options available so I can keep bouncing before I get fired.

Again - I'm burnt out and it fucking sucks. I'm around the 1% of my age (29) and definitely the 1% of where I grew up - but it's not enough to stay sane in this dynamic.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm going to do. How will I ever escape my fate? Ultimately - I have no idea and it's why I'm so frustrated and burnt out. I have no path out and never will.

Mind you - my social life, hobbies, and everything else is practically non-existent. I am miserable every day.

> I continue to live, step over people on my way to work, where I sit and help contribute to climate change, feel the guilt of all of it and wanting to change it but without knowing how.

Sorry for being harsh, but please grow up and stop letting other people manipulate you by making you feel guilty about climate, your relative wealth and other things. Focus on making your own life better, leave the current climate change craze (yes, craze) for politics to address.

No way is that a healthy relationship. I would not stay in it based on your description. Sounds like hell.

You do have reason to have hope since you are smart enough to plan how to move on from existing work etc. Perhaps explore how to get out of your current hell hole and into a better life?