Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The death of partying in the USA

derekthompson.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

711–720 of 756 posts

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#711

Post by 9rx »

watwut wrote: post #704
9rx wrote: post #695

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> People, including teenagers, can and do act in pro-social and non assholish ways for reasons other then fear. It is unlikely a hermit living in the forest, who hasn't seen another human in years, can find ways to be an asshole. So, technically, it is possible to not be an asshole without worry for others. But it would also be unusual to call such a person an asshole given the lack of opportunities to be one. Realis…

> Realistically, to be an asshole is, at least in part, to show lack of worry for others. So, no, worry is a necessary precondition here. Are you sure you are not a sociopath? Your reasoning here id quote off and if trulu fear and worry is the only reason for you to not be an asshole or jerk ... I dont wsmt to be around. And yes superior impulse control can make teenagers behave better amd not do fires where they sho…

> Are you sure you are not a sociopath?

I have nothing to do with this. Ad hominem is a logical fallacy. "Read the thread", as the saying goes, doesn't just mean look at the words on the screen. It also implies understand what is written. Reaching the point of logical fallacy proves that the words were not understood. Why keep replying before reading (meaning also understanding) the thread?

> Your reasoning here id quote off and if trulu fear and worry is the only reason for you to not be an asshole or jerk ...

Fear plays no part in this discussion. It is mentioned nowhere, aside from the inane ramblings that were pointed out earlier, and is unrelated to anything being discussed.

Worry is applicable. It may also manifest as concern. But either way, it is the awareness of others (or lack thereof) that is at least a precondition, if not a defining feature, of being an asshole. Again, the hermit in the forest isn't not an asshole just by virtue of not being unable to act out his assholish ways. It is quite possible said hermit actually is an asshole. But without a situation where worry/concern is applicable, there is no way for an outsider to be able to know, and thus nobody would label said hermit as such. To meaningfully introduce the concept of being an asshole (or to not be), worry/concern about other people also must necessarily be included.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#712

Post by DaSHacka »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #555
ethan_smith wrote: post #433

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Digital socialization has replaced many functions of physical parties - Discord hangouts, gaming sessions, and video calls offer connection without the logistics burden or social risks. The question isn't whether socializing has died, but whether its digital evolution provides the same developmental benefits as in-person gatherings.

I honestly am having trouble believing folks think that digital socialization is anywhere near an acceptable substitute (vs. an adjunct) for in-person socialization. And tons of research supports this. Can't remember the woman who talks about AI meaning "Artificial Intimacy", where you have 1500 "friends" but nobody to feed your cat when you go on vacation. Here is Scott Galloway talking about the significance of ask…

For dating in particular, or socialization in general?

I think it's far better to be able to connect with acquaintances online, to this day I'm still playing games with friends I had in high school that no longer even live in the same state as me. Whereas had we been forced to only meet in-person, we likely wouldn't have talked to each other for years by this point.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#713

Post by throwaway2037 »

snozolli wrote: post #275
yubblegum wrote: post #258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Basically, the kids who were socially marginalized in the prenetworks era also did not get to see the parties the socially active kids were having, and would have wondered at it all. It would have certainly been also 'a new experience' for them! Except back then they didn't have a place like reddit to go to and wonder out loud.

I never went to parties like this. I wasn't socially marginalized, I just wasn't one of the popular kids. Popularity at my school was closely tied with wealth and family status. A relatively tiny group of people lived this sort of life.

Were any of the popular girls physically unattractive? I doubt it. Popular boys can be popular without good looks, but it usually requires lots of money or great humour (class clown) or skill in a popular sport like American football or basketball. Look at a few "visually appealing" Instagram accounts. That will show you what basic popularity looks like, extended from high school.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#714

Post by throwaway2037 »

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #698
torginus wrote: post #354

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not quite sure if smartphones are still all that popular. With the rise of WFH, (and for Gen-Z, having a Covid lockdown college experience), most people are on actual computers and are sitting at home.

Anecdotal, but my 15 and 16 year olds, along with their friends, generally dislike computers and think they're inefficient, inconvenient, and too hard to use for most purposes they associate with devices. In other words, they have no idea what computers can do, and they just want the phone things that are easy to do on the phone. I've tried to teach my kids about computers, but they're extremely resistant. They just…

    > generally dislike computers and think they're inefficient, inconvenient, and too hard to use for most purposes they associate with devices
Hasn't this always been true for the masses for all eras of personal computing? I have been observing since the Apple ][ era!

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#715

Post by throwaway2037 »

Aurornis wrote: post #280
generalizations wrote: post #271

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That should also be true of the Gen Xers replying though. So I think that effectively cancels out.

No, the legacy social media platforms are more popular with older generations. Facebook is the canonical example of a social media platform that arrived after Gen X was young, but it now heavily used by Gen X while nearly completely shunned by Gen Z, with millenials somewhere in the middle. Reddit and even Twitter are legacy social media platforms for Gen Z, especially younger Gen Z. The very oldest Gen Z people woul…

In highly developed countries, I think most people under 40 have moved away from Facebook towards Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. I thought the main Facebook users are (1) those in developing countries (messenger especially) and (2) parents in highly developed countries who need to get updates for their kids' school/sports/clubs. Is this still broadly true?

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#716

Post by integralid »

lisbbb wrote: post #671
dlcarrier wrote: post #602

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I swear the more Xanax people get, the more they overschedule themselves and their kids. I think existence of anxiety prevents people from overexerting themselves, and pharmacologically removing it just lets people, and the children they live through, take on more responsibilities, beyond what is healthy.

I think drugs like Xanax are playing a huge, but under-the-radar type of role in all kind of social contagions that we are witnessing. Every time someone does something crazy or even just a bit "off" I ask myself: "Is that person on drugs?" The answer is likely "yes!" Not illegal drugs, per se, but still. I don't overschedule my kids. It's ridiculous what I see going on and I'm not friends with those "driven" parents…

I'm not saying that you're wrong, but I'm on drugs precisely to stop me from doing crazy things.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#717

Post by DaSHacka »

watwut wrote: post #704
9rx wrote: post #695

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> People, including teenagers, can and do act in pro-social and non assholish ways for reasons other then fear. It is unlikely a hermit living in the forest, who hasn't seen another human in years, can find ways to be an asshole. So, technically, it is possible to not be an asshole without worry for others. But it would also be unusual to call such a person an asshole given the lack of opportunities to be one. Realis…

> Realistically, to be an asshole is, at least in part, to show lack of worry for others. So, no, worry is a necessary precondition here. Are you sure you are not a sociopath? Your reasoning here id quote off and if trulu fear and worry is the only reason for you to not be an asshole or jerk ... I dont wsmt to be around. And yes superior impulse control can make teenagers behave better amd not do fires where they sho…

> Are you sure you are not a sociopath? Your reasoning here id quote off and if trulu fear and worry is the only reason for you to not be an asshole or jerk ... I dont wsmt to be around.

per HN rules[0]:

> When disagreeing, please reply to the argument instead of calling names. "That is idiotic; 1 + 1 is 2, not 3" can be shortened to "1 + 1 is 2, not 3."

> Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith.

> Please don't post shallow dismissals, especially of other people's work. A good critical comment teaches us something.

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#718

Post by throwaway2037 »

piltdownman wrote: post #225
arp242 wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know about the United States, but in (parts of) Europe it is the case. "Nobody owns homes any more" is an exaggeration of course, but things are not alright in the housing market, in part because private corporations are buying up quite a large percentage of the housing stock to rent. I think in Ireland it's about half. Like I said, I don't know about the US. It's a big place and you're probably taking too mu…

In Ireland, approximately 41% of young adults aged 18 to 34 live with their parents as of 2024. It was 32% in 2011. This is an economic abhorration that has stolen significant independent adult lifespan from an entire generation. This is caused by an Irish cultural distaste for apartments - as they're generally not setup for modern living, are typified by poor soundproofing and insulation, and marred by fire insulati…

    > In Ireland, approximately 41% of young adults aged 18 to 34 live with their parents as of 2024.
This is wild. Can I safely assume that this is inversely correlated to marriage rates (and age of first child)? I assume that it looks like Italy. "Up next: Demographic crisis!"

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#719

Post by rightbyte »

advael wrote: post #479

I like that this delves into the relationship between "helicopter parenting" and this trend, and maybe I missed it, but I find that it conspicuously lacks economic precarity and the decline of real wages over this time period as an explanation. Hosting social events does cost free time and money and most people have way less of both in real terms than the period it's comparing to

Free time and mental energy is the limiting factor I think.

Personally I observe that social events seem to be most common among students who also are quite poor.

However mental energy and free time is surely correlated with wealth.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#720

Post by DaSHacka »

micromacrofoot wrote: post #408
taeric wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What happened is that everything turned into playdates? When we were kids, the general direction was GTFO, and don't be late for dinner. Who did you go play with? Whoever was at the park. When you got older, you hopefully had access to the skating rink. Or maybe a bowling alley. Before that, kickball at the park. Pretty much every day. Maybe see if you can over shoot the swing again.

I saw a reddit post where a woman was arrested for letting her 10 year old walk a mile alone

What country was that in?
Post reply on HN