701–710 of 728 posts
I feel like the biggest problem with my attempts to make friends is that I don't have hobbies, interesting opinions, or "personality", put it a little blunt, can a club fix that?
I think we (hacker news community) can make a difference in dating industry by creating an open-source free to use dating app. Same quality as Hinge/Bumble but free of cost and free of algorithm manipulation. I have been thinking about it for a while. I am a software engineer but doing this requires a massive group effort. Maybe let's chat about it. amirhesamyan [at] gmail.com
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Interesting! All of my best friends came from going through the same experience together. Totally agree on that. But that experience was high school or college. What experience can adult men (25+) go through that is enough to build a lasting friendship? That consistent, shared experience what I'm trying to build. But I can appreciate the feedback that it comes across as "auditioning" as that's not the point. The goal…
== What experience can adult men (25+) go through that is enough to build a lasting friendship?== Maybe fatherhood. I’ve had some of that experience with friends I’ve made through my kid’s preschool. This week I read an article about a local club for new fathers in Chicago. Kinda of a similar concept, friendship through shared experience. https://chicago.suntimes.com/entertainment-culture/2025/05/2...
“Solve the straight male loneliness epidemic.” FTFY. Gay men have many more community options. Not sure why, but we just do togetherness inherently. Glad to see this though. It can only be solved by the people in the epidemic but it only takes the effort of a handful of organizers in the community/town/city to jumpstart events and hit critical mass. I’ve organized things on meetup and it takes persistence. Good luck!
> Gay men have many more community options. Not sure why, but we just do togetherness inherently. How much of that is motivated by dating and hooking up?
This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…
pokemon go was a notable example that got people out of the house (and sometimes into adventure..)
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I don't agree. If you choose the right club you don't have to conform and you can just be yourself. Especially in the cities there's a scene for everyone. In the countryside it's slim pickings of course so you do have to conform. Maybe that's one of the reason people in small towns are so different, the social dynamic is stricter because there's just not enough people around to form groups of people that are differen…
> there's just not enough people around to form groups of people that are different. That's certainly part of it, although I think the bigger factor is that people who are different just leave. Small towns are conformist because of survivorship bias.
This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…
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> Men's weekends" just end up with [...] hanging in front of the TV watching boring sports or crappy porn. How many situations are you in where group consumption of pornography is normal? I've been in very few.
Many. And I don't even mind but it's usually really bad porn. Also it's not like anyone does anything, they just sit there and pretend they're not interested or ignore it. It's really weird. Also a kind of macho thing I think. Anyway in Holland this is not uncommon. I have nothing against pornography at all but I do have a minimum quality :) I like the more stylish stuff. Though I prefer watching people in real life,…
Like, not that that's a bad thing- live your lice how you want- but complaints of "my complaint with all-male gatherings is that the collectively viewed pornography is of insufficiently high quality" are not necessarily the most relatable.
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Don't disagree, but some hard things don't get said when the other gender is around, especially with men of a certain age. It takes a lot for many men to even out loud say the word "lonely" or "sad" or "worthless". A lot of male conversation is silent. The whole spiel is to project and feel capable of dealing with the world, to feel useful, to be a Man. To feel otherwise is not "masculine". To admit this to mixed com…
>A lot of male conversation is silent. No it isn't! Men need to talk about their feelings just as much as women! There isn't some major difference in how we handle emotions! We are all human, and humans are emotional creatures. So many men need to Grow the Fuck Up and realize that being vulnerable is not the same as being weak. You need to be talking to your friends or confidants about your feelings. >To feel otherwi…
You are categorically wrong. In fact, you couldn’t be further from the truth.
Men process emotions differently than women do. A real, biological difference. There is a reason why men don’t cry at the end of titanic. And to imply men are somehow emotionally stunted because they don’t emote like a woman does, is not only wrong but is harmful.
> vulnerable is not the same as being weak
Go read a dictionary. Showing vulnerability is the same thing as showing weakness and society shuns and shames weak men. There are reasons for that, and men have every incentive not to show weakness.
This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…