The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents • Hacker News Board

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#701

Post by pgwhalen » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:13 PM UTC

scarmig wrote: post #696

pgwhalen wrote: post #659

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This doesn't seem like a fair analogy for a number of reasons. But mostly just that COVID itself is not destroying businesses, whereas a hurricane literally is.

A hurricane isn't directly destroying anything except the building the business operates from; the business still exists. In principle employees could still walk to the rubble to work and customers could walk to the rubble to exchange money for services, but the material conditions make both of those untenable, in the same way the material conditions of COVID make working and buying things untenable.

I'm trying to assume a good faith argument here, but I'm struggling to. So I'll just say that we see the situation very differently.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#702

Post by babypuncher » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:16 PM UTC

tanilama wrote: post #526

munificent wrote: post #464

I really love the quote at the end: > I'm a dad who is happy to have his daughter and fiancé living with me. They pay the utilities and make me nice meals, and it makes it a lot less lonely here. ... I like the multi-generational thing. I know it won't last forever, but it makes life better for now. It's so easy to get into that cold statistical mindset about these large-scale trends, but it's good to remember that t…

I agree. I don't like what the title tries to suggest that living with your parents is something wrong/abnormal? Why is that? I understand for many it is not a choice, but it doesn't necessarily meaning people are suffering as a result.

> The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

The title doesn't suggest anything, it just states an objective fact.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#703

Post by nradov » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:19 PM UTC

kelnos wrote: post #553

munificent wrote: post #464

I really love the quote at the end: > I'm a dad who is happy to have his daughter and fiancé living with me. They pay the utilities and make me nice meals, and it makes it a lot less lonely here. ... I like the multi-generational thing. I know it won't last forever, but it makes life better for now. It's so easy to get into that cold statistical mindset about these large-scale trends, but it's good to remember that t…

It's also useful to note that the "nuclear family" is a very Western thing, and the US takes it to an extreme. In other parts of the world it's abnormal for adults in their 20s to be living anywhere but with their parents, often even with a fiance or new spouse in the mix. The idea that having a multi-generational household means that the younger members haven't "grown up" and need to "learn to live on their own" is…

I was fortunate enough to be able to attend boarding school starting from age 13, and getting out of my parents' home early was a huge benefit in every possible way. I wish more young people had the same opportunity.

My parents are good people, there was nothing wrong with my home environment. But it's more important that youth learn to act like independent adults and take responsibility for their own lives. Staying at home too long causes learned helplessness. When there's no one around to help it's sink or swim.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#704

Post by charlesu » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:20 PM UTC

tstewart161 wrote: post #660

Nasrudith wrote: post #633

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really cost of housing alone doesn't tell the full story without considering the jobs/income sources in the area. I have noticed an irony that if housing in an area is really cheap you probably won't be able to afford to live there unless you are already a retiree who doesn't care about long emergency response time - because the highest paying job in the area is say a resturant manager at the local diner. Before the…

You need to keep looking then. Plenty of cities have great job opportunities while still having inexpensive and great houses

Can you name some? I would gladly leave my HoL city for a cheaper one with great job opportunities in technology (not necessarily at a tech company) and cheap housing. The only city that seems to have all those things is Minneapolis. Even Atlanta is fairly expensive at this point.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#705

Post by lazyasciiart » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:21 PM UTC

nradov wrote: post #703

kelnos wrote: post #553

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's also useful to note that the "nuclear family" is a very Western thing, and the US takes it to an extreme. In other parts of the world it's abnormal for adults in their 20s to be living anywhere but with their parents, often even with a fiance or new spouse in the mix. The idea that having a multi-generational household means that the younger members haven't "grown up" and need to "learn to live on their own" is…

I was fortunate enough to be able to attend boarding school starting from age 13, and getting out of my parents' home early was a huge benefit in every possible way. I wish more young people had the same opportunity. My parents are good people, there was nothing wrong with my home environment. But it's more important that youth learn to act like independent adults and take responsibility for their own lives. Staying…

It's perfectly possible to do that while living at home.I was more independent at 13 than many 20-somethings I met years later living in a shared flat.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#706

Post by user5994461 » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:22 PM UTC

irrational wrote: post #577

scarmig wrote: post #551

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not to dig too deeply into a single example, but... what should they be doing? Are they employed or in school? If not, what is your expectation of what they should be doing? I agree that if they're living with you, they should probably be doing chores, cooking, and getting some exercise in. But if they're financially constrained and have nothing to do, futzing about on the Internet and social media isn't a particular…

Basically what you said, helping out around the house, cooking, helping younger siblings with their school work, etc. Everywhere I go there are help wanted signs, but neither displays any interest in seeking employment (even though they both could really use the money). Both are on a hiatus from school right now.

What are the prospects behind these "help wanted" signs? Jobs for minimum wage, not covering gas for the car or masks, that will put you in the frontline facing other people?

I'm not in favor of my children sitting idle, but if the alternative is for them to go work outside only to bring back £1000 and COVID, well, that's a pure loss, I'd rather they stay home a couple months doing the chores. University should resume soon enough.

It's crazy when I think about it. Masks can be £1-2 a piece nowadays (the good ones). If my daughter is going to work and has to change masks 3+ times a day, it's 1 hour of bullshit job a day just to pay for the masks. It's insane. :O

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#707

Post by shard » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:22 PM UTC

kelnos wrote: post #553

munificent wrote: post #464

I really love the quote at the end: > I'm a dad who is happy to have his daughter and fiancé living with me. They pay the utilities and make me nice meals, and it makes it a lot less lonely here. ... I like the multi-generational thing. I know it won't last forever, but it makes life better for now. It's so easy to get into that cold statistical mindset about these large-scale trends, but it's good to remember that t…

It's also useful to note that the "nuclear family" is a very Western thing, and the US takes it to an extreme. In other parts of the world it's abnormal for adults in their 20s to be living anywhere but with their parents, often even with a fiance or new spouse in the mix. The idea that having a multi-generational household means that the younger members haven't "grown up" and need to "learn to live on their own" is…

Yes, I suspect that people moving out when they are 18 is an anomaly, due to a special time of increased prosperity, and the recent events are simply just the start of a return to the norm.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#708

Post by buzzert » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:23 PM UTC

Important thing to consider: a majority of 18-29 year-olds also probably normally live in dense cities, and dense cities have lost nearly all of their appeal during the pandemic. So it might not be a financial thing necessarily, but instead people just wanting to go back to having a room in the suburbs to escape their shitty box in the city.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#709

Post by rjkennedy98 » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:23 PM UTC

triceratops wrote: post #474

rjkennedy98 wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Millennials face a very real risk of being a lost generation financially I think it's already a done deal. Millennials aren't as young as they seem (over 30) and as the own a minuscule percentage of US household wealth. The numbers are incredible. "Indeed, at a median age of 35, Gen Xers owned just 9% of the nation’s wealth in 2008 — less than half what boomers had at that age. And millennials will have to triple t…

Obamacare banned declining coverage for pre-existing conditions and allowed Since they don't see things getting better for them as they get older, maybe it's not so irrational to support expansion of Medicare and Social Security. It's not as illogical or against their self-interest as you think.

Except that you skip over the most important provisions.

Do you think that insurance for a 60 year old is 3x as expensive as a 30 year old for health care? The government MANDATES that to be the case. Who do you think pays for that?

Obamacare mandates that a 64 year old get charged no more that 3x a 27 year old.

Re: The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

#710

Post by chillwaves » Wed, Sep 16, 2020, 9:23 PM UTC

irrational wrote: post #506

chillwaves wrote: post #496

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Speaking from the younger generations perspective, this is a great way to destroy the relationship with your adult children. I'm sure it doesn't feel great for them to be dependent on you and face your scorn on a daily basis. I just hope the situation will never be reversed, for your sake.

Scorn? I haven't said a word to them. How could I? I barely see them.

From my experience, feeling constantly judged by my parents is damaging (speaking for myself and my siblings) and leads to avoidant behaviors. This holds true whether I am working or not, whether I live with them or am on my own.

Maybe you can have a conversation with them to reset expectations? Part of this process should communicate to them what your expectations are and then, if they meet those expectations you should try not to judge their lifestyles.

Would you care if they slept until noon if they were otherwise productive?

The fact that there are nebulous unspoken "rules" is a likely source of tension.

Apologies for the judgment in my last comment, clearly I do not know your family and am just projecting my own familial dysfunction. To put it bluntly, your comment hit a nerve but my response was uncalled for.