Why do you hate chatting? I can understand if one of your neighbors is annoying, but my point is that if you weren't driving, you'd certainly know more than just the annoying one next door, and you almost certainly get a kick out of dogging him with the person on the other side of his house. If not, hey, there's always one or two annoying neighbors, and if you can't find them, it's probably you.
I really don't know! I just get this deeply uncomfortable feeling when I see that I'm going to have to have some kind of unplanned interaction with them. I'm not a terribly shy person, there's just something about the neighbor encounter.
If you get to know them better, will you feel less anxious?
Honest question - why would you wait until the next draught or plague to get to know your neighbors well? Why not start getting to know them today, before you "need" them?
Honest question - why is it considered so inherently important to spend time with your neighbors? I don't understand why I'm supposed to have a natural connection to certain individuals just because we chose to live in the same area. If my social circle consists of people who don't happen to live on my street, is that so bad? We don't really need to worry about having someone to come check up on us from next door bec…
It's not supposed to be a natural connection. But it's much easier to kill time with people who live close by.
I don't know about you, but I find watching a movie or sitting around a fire with my neighbors far more therapeutic than text messaging on my phone.
Good to see they finally point the finger at what is fairly certainly the culprit: the automobile. When i lived in NYC, i knew most of my neighbors. Why? because we literally bumped into each other coming in and out of the building. When you have a common destination (subway, bus, market, etc), it's nice to have someone to chat with, but when your commute is in an automobile, you never get a chance to ask. Living roo…
During my 7-year stay in Singapore (a city with very low car ownership and where almost everybody commutes with the public transport) - neighbours don't typically chat either. People commutes at different time, and people who wait in bus stops or train stations usually prefer their gadgets/phones/iPads to talking to strangers
Good to see they finally point the finger at what is fairly certainly the culprit: the automobile. When i lived in NYC, i knew most of my neighbors. Why? because we literally bumped into each other coming in and out of the building. When you have a common destination (subway, bus, market, etc), it's nice to have someone to chat with, but when your commute is in an automobile, you never get a chance to ask. Living roo…
My suburban neighborhood consists of single family homes on roughly quarter-acre lots. I "bump in" to my neighbors a lot when we're in our front yards. But I hate the "stop and chat", so when I see a neighbor outside I employ the following strategies to avoid neighbor contact: - Driving into the garage and lowering the garage door even when I really wanted to park in the driveway - Peeking through blinds to see when…
That's kind of pathological. I also don't care for ad-hoc social interactions, but you can learn a few routines to manage them, like wave but don't engage, or greet but say you had a long day and you'd prefer to talk later. It's probably not worth seeing a therapist over, but a little work on dealing with the small talk is much less stressful than the anxiety of skulking around hiding from eye contact. If you can't get past this then you should see a therapist, letting it stress you that much is unhealthy.
https://nextdoor.com/ is trying to help bring back that sense of community that this article talks about us losing. I think if something like this can help us get a cursory relationship with our neighbors, then that could potentially develop into something deeper and more meaningful and facilitate more offline interaction as well.
looks like it could be beautiful, but I'd really prefer being able to at least browse some of what's being talked about in my neighborhood before signing up.
Are you suggesting that people shouldn't have the flexibility to move easily if they get a new job/partner or have a change in circumstances? That's what happens if every home must be owner-occupied and there isn't a liquid rental market. I moved to China a few years ago. I am glad that I was able to let my flat (to responsible tenants who have paid the rent on time for >3 years) and that I was able to rent an apartm…
Your parent post is not talking about some schmuck moving abroad for a few years. He is talking about the type of person who buys up property with the sole intention of making money by renting it off to others.
Where the hell else will rental properties come from?
Why do you hate chatting? I can understand if one of your neighbors is annoying, but my point is that if you weren't driving, you'd certainly know more than just the annoying one next door, and you almost certainly get a kick out of dogging him with the person on the other side of his house. If not, hey, there's always one or two annoying neighbors, and if you can't find them, it's probably you.
I really don't know! I just get this deeply uncomfortable feeling when I see that I'm going to have to have some kind of unplanned interaction with them. I'm not a terribly shy person, there's just something about the neighbor encounter.
It's because you don't know them well enough. Or maybe because you haven't been "formally introduced". This makes you nervous of the impact that an accidental disclosure of information might have.
Invite them around for a BBQ (if you're American).
Even better, if you notice one of them having a minor problem, offer to help with it.
My entire adult life, I haven't known any of my neighbors, until recently. One day about 8 months ago, we got a note on the door from new neighbors. They were having a "floor party" and invited everyone on the floor to their place. Almost everyone on the floor, reluctantly went to the party expecting it to be awkward. We all ended up drunk and hanging out until 2 am. Turns out, pretty much everyone on the floor was a…
To me, this is the key - someone has to take the initiative. Once you realize that everyone is in the same boat; being that person can be uncomfortable but incredibly rewarding. Invite everyone over. Someone has to do it, and everyone else will be grateful.
A UK perspective: over the past decade there has been an enormous growth in the buy-to-let market and the UK is now overun by the worst type of property owner: the buy-to-let (buy-to-rent) landlord or "property investor". They treat housing as a pure profit-making exercise. When more and more homes in your area get bought by property investors and buy-to-let landlords it can have a detrimental effect (I've seen it ha…
Are you suggesting that people shouldn't have the flexibility to move easily if they get a new job/partner or have a change in circumstances? That's what happens if every home must be owner-occupied and there isn't a liquid rental market. I moved to China a few years ago. I am glad that I was able to let my flat (to responsible tenants who have paid the rent on time for >3 years) and that I was able to rent an apartm…
The economic middle road is to penalize the externality. If a community is concerned about non-resident property owners, they might consider taxing them at a higher rate and longer-term full-time residents at a lower rate. I don't know if there's anywhere that actually does this, however.
My suburban neighborhood consists of single family homes on roughly quarter-acre lots. I "bump in" to my neighbors a lot when we're in our front yards. But I hate the "stop and chat", so when I see a neighbor outside I employ the following strategies to avoid neighbor contact: - Driving into the garage and lowering the garage door even when I really wanted to park in the driveway - Peeking through blinds to see when…
Why do you hate chatting? I can understand if one of your neighbors is annoying, but my point is that if you weren't driving, you'd certainly know more than just the annoying one next door, and you almost certainly get a kick out of dogging him with the person on the other side of his house. If not, hey, there's always one or two annoying neighbors, and if you can't find them, it's probably you.
you almost certainly get a kick out of dogging him with the person on the other side of his house
Well no, not everyone enjoys that kind of behavior. To me, it's one of the repellants in neighbor relations. I'm happy to help them out, but that kind of shit talk is poisonous.