Earlier quoted context omitted.
Are there blog posts about how someone tried to solve an actual problem in PHP, but couldn't because the language sucked too much? You know, instead of pointing and laughing at things they saw in the manual or newsgroups that hardly matter in practice.
That's not the problem with PHP. The problem with PHP is that its design flaws cause friction that scales at least linearly and probably more like geometrically with application complexity--and it doesn't hit you until a project is of sufficient size that every change comes with more and more pain. "It's easy to start with" is only a virtue if that doesn't come with "it turns into a tire fire a year later".
I have worked with people who make same claims as you resulting in us spending endless hours doing preparing for a scale that never happened.
Guess what our client felt about that invoice?
It's a pseudo problem, a theoretical problem, something that can be solved even though it might not be as elegant as the purists would like it to be. But it can be solved if it has to. Most often it doesn't.