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Obsession

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Re: Obsession

#71

Post by eliasmacpherson »

Joeri wrote: post #66

All through high school, I was this guy. So sure of my own abilities, so sure that all I lacked to achieve was intent. When i went to university, failing my first compsci year badly, this served as a wake up call. Strangely however it was not the one I needed. It showed me that I knew less than I thought I did, but I remained convinced that with good solid cramming I could force into my brain what I needed to excel a…

Had the same experience with working after graduating on what I feel was a 'charity pass'.

Once one's ability to support oneself is at stake, rather than some nebulous concept of 'education' i.e. learning something because someone thinks its important - it becomes surprisingly easy to work. I realised I would not be showing anybody up around the same timeframe as the original poster.

In case it's not obvious, there's a corollary? from C: If you've no faith confidence at all, you will block yourself from the path of self-improvement.

Re: Obsession

#72

Post by 16s »

He/she is a great writer. Good advice too.

Break big tasks down into small ones, practice and train for each small task and then when the big tests (or the challenges of life) come you'll be prepared.

Learning how to study will help you learn how to live and deal with life in general.

Re: Obsession

#73

Post by captn3m0 »

graycat wrote: post #65

My wife was at the top of the class in nearly every course she took in school, K-Ph.D. I was at or near the top of the class in material I liked, essentially just math, physics, and chemistry. From those two examples, here are some lessons on how to make good grades and/or do well. I will start with what my wife did: First, care about making good grades; care a LOT. Second, actually do at least most of the reading an…

Thanks for writing this.

Re: Obsession

#74

Post by graycat »

captn3m0 wrote: post #73
graycat wrote: post #65

My wife was at the top of the class in nearly every course she took in school, K-Ph.D. I was at or near the top of the class in material I liked, essentially just math, physics, and chemistry. From those two examples, here are some lessons on how to make good grades and/or do well. I will start with what my wife did: First, care about making good grades; care a LOT. Second, actually do at least most of the reading an…

Thanks for writing this.

Welcome.

Re: Obsession

#75

Post by trench0 »

OP, this exact thing happened to me in high school then into uni. Well, I actually dropped out because I just could not make it work. I wasn't like the top students either. Hell, I was hardly even average.

If there is any advice I can give, it would be to be _proud_ of every accomplishment you achieve. People use pride to motivate them. The pride of finishing a course, an assignment, a homework problem, getting a paycheck, promotion, a diploma -- I could go on. I can't even count the number of times I thought I was prepared for a test only to end up with a barely passing grade (if I was lucky). Practice and preparation are empty, unfulfilling activities without pride, and I think that's why I could never get anything out of them.

Pride is something that I struggle with even ten years after I packed all my shit into my car and made the long and painful drive home from university. My failures still hang heavy on my every movement, regardless of the good things that I do today. It could have been different, I think to myself. I should have done better. It seems like you are struggling with the same emotions.

In the end many functional, successful people struggle with regret of _some_ kind. You seem to be remarkably introspective about yours, and that is a good thing. Let it guide you, motivate you. It took me ten years (and debt that I am still paying off) to trust those instincts.

Re: Obsession

#76

Post by kombinatorics »

I too share this grand delusion. I know it's a delusion, yet I can't formulate a solution. I'm a first year right now, I share the same story from high school, to rejection from the university I wanted to go to, and finally to the low grades in university. Thanks for sharing the story, it gives me insight on where my behaviour will lead. Thank you.

Re: Obsession

#77

Post by FallDead »

Grades as a metric for intelligence or understanding seems to be broken. I remember in high school and university there were students whom would do vastly better then my self in many cs courses. It bothered myself until learned that they had access to a Drop box that contained many solutions collected through out the years as well as past midterms. If stopped bothering me when they were not getting Co-op placements and had to apply their knowledge. My point is don't count on a metric to define who you are and how intelligent you are.

Re: Obsession

#78

Post by Tycho »

graycat wrote: post #65

My wife was at the top of the class in nearly every course she took in school, K-Ph.D. I was at or near the top of the class in material I liked, essentially just math, physics, and chemistry. From those two examples, here are some lessons on how to make good grades and/or do well. I will start with what my wife did: First, care about making good grades; care a LOT. Second, actually do at least most of the reading an…

In high school, I kind of looked down upon the culture of 'caring a lot' about getting top grades. Partly because I saw much of it as suckers jumping through arbitrary hoops, and partly because I reckoned that my memory was easily capable of holding all the necessary information, if I just put in a meagre number of hours studying (which I hated, so usually didn't bother). I focussed on trying to impress the teachers by answering the difficult questions in class which (seemingly) stumped the 'straight A' students, and also I loved English class because that was the one where disciplined study yielded little advantage. If someone got top grades but didn't outwardly show any flare in any of these areas, I considered them 'not that intelligent.'

Not saying this was justified, but it's definitely how I felt. What I probably should have realized is that in the long run, self-discipline is an extremely important trait no matter what your natural aptitude is. But I also think schools should make more effort to make subjects appealing on an intuitive level, not just a stack of exercises to slog through - I would have done much better in say maths if that was the case. I have to admit though, even though my attitude is different these days, what your wife did in college to get top grades still seems... kind of lame.

Re: Obsession

#79

Post by 6d0debc071 »

The odds that you'll be the best in something very competitive are low. Sorry to say. If that's your selection criteria what are the odds that you got the perfect genetics and a better upbringing than everyone else there? Sure, effort and all that jazz - but everyone else who sits down and thinks similarly is executing a similar strategy, effort isn't that rare. You might get a slightly better study algorithm, spaced repetition vs cramming or something, but that's a thing here and there....

That said, I've rarely found being the absolute best at something to be worth the effort even among a small pool of a few thousand people. Crippling over specialisation I believe is the meme. If you can't be the absolute best, you might want look for related areas you can get better quickly - most of the time, in my experience, it can make the initial problem you were having trouble with easier anyway.

It's also a lot harder for you to get fired if you've got your fingers in lots of pies =p

Re: Obsession

#80

Post by SecretofMana »

Hey everyone, OP here.

I'm sincerely very grateful for all the advice. I wrote this out of frustration less so with my grades, despite the tone of the piece, and more so with the way I had been treating my friends as of late, in particular my girlfriend, because of my grades versus theirs. I have been a jerk to the ones that I love without reason, and that irritates me. I will definitely keep in mind what's been said here, though.

For what it is worth, I also do not believe that I suffer from depression. Although I am harsh on myself, and always have been harsh on myself, I have always managed to work through and overcome my fears, usually by venting like this, although until now I did it privately.

I also don't think that I have ADD, since there are stretches of time where I can focus intensely, such as at hackathons or when I'm more relaxed over school.

Returning to my computer after posting this was really a shock, I didn't expect this much of a response to what I had initially perceived as an immature outburst. Thank you all so much.

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