This post is very, very strange.
I didn't find it strange; the fact that you do is surprising, and therefore potentially interesting. Would you care to elaborate?
The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
71–80 of 258 posts
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#72So what happens if you don't have a lot of friends, or in my case, if all your friends are engaged or married and have no reason to be on a dating site?
I think what happens is, this model falls flat on its face. It's a good idea though, for a group of single friends.
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#73Earlier quoted context omitted.
I picked my girlfriend[1] of four years up at a bar. After a few dates, she broke it off with a guy she'd been dating casually who she met through Match.com. [1] Ivy-educated, Ph.D.-holding, tenured professor girlfriend.
Do you not count that as her cheating on you?
She became a girlfriend after she broke it off with the guy from Match.
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#74It was creepy the moment it wanted to authorize so much information from Facebook. Got creepier the moment the site asked me to start involving my friends without me knowing whether or not they wanted to be involved. Got super frustrating that my ability to even see how this site worked required me to drag my friends into this mess without their consent.
And from what I can see, there's no way for me to specify which genders I'm actually interested in meeting. (Yes, I know if I make profiles from my friends I can filter the people I'm looking for, but do you give me filters to let people know I'm not straight and therefore not interested in them?) If you're not straight, this type of thing is really critical. I'm not interested in messages from men and on OKC, I use the wonderful checkbox that makes it so that straight people can't even see my profile. That checkbox alone plays a big role in turning online dating from a lousy situation into a bearable one. Your writeup makes it sound like you only considered the dating patterns of straight people and your site doesn't appear to even bother to think about anything else. You appear to have mostly made a better dating site for you and people like you without realizing that dating is complicated and a bunch of people involved in a good dating ecosystem aren't going to be you, or anything like you.
I'll stick with OKC. (Which, by the way, I think is mostly great.)
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#75One theory on why the author might be having a little trouble with OkCupid comes down to this sentence: "Unless your parents are Jewish and they threaten to disown you for not having a Jewish boyfriend...yea, you may not want to message me in that case." I mean, I laughed, it's a funny profile, but ultimately it implies bitterness over your last relationship, which, in my experience, is a turn off for both sexes. Don…
That's actually a common problem, for Jewish people or other people in inward-focused culture X
X person meets a non-X, they get along, and then X's parents turn the screws, ruining the relationship.
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#76The problem with online dating boils down to: guys have no idea what they are doing. I've helped my friends and the secret is to write a three sentence message: an intro about why the message, a funny sentence, and finally a light question. It's pretty simple. I used it on OkCupid and got about a 30-50% response rate. Now I'm 6'8" and in shape which skewed the results but my friends copied what I did and their respon…
Yeah, just be tall, good looking, confident, and comfortable conversing in contrived situations like bar/cafe meetings with strangers.
Wonder why guys can't figure that out?
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#77How about you lie to us too buddy?
The problem is men don't read online dating profiles,
they only look at the pictures. It's not just a difficult
and repetitive task, but it's wasted time.
I really like OKC. I thought it was way better than any other dating site I looked at. I also found a wonderful woman on it whom I love dearly and who loves me, so I'm perfectly happy.
From your post, it sounds to me like you have a rather narrow viewpoint of what people think about online dating. There are many points of view, and if you want to focus on a niche of people who believe what you believe, that's perfectly fine. But don't go making objective statements like "men don't read online dating profiles" when that's simply not true. "A study that used X number of men and Y number women, looked at eHarmony and match.com and found that ... blah blah blah" is way better and way closer to the truth.
(I'm not a shill for OKC btw, I don't work for them, or know anyone who works for them. I'm just really really happy with their site and the results.)
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#78You're completely right, people are lazy, but online dating is also way more work than it has to be. Women receive so many messages that it becomes overwhelming and too much work and men try sending earnest messages for a little while and then concede that it's basically a numbers game. These two phenomena are self-reinforcing. The more messages women receive, the less likely they are to respond. The more messages a…
These points are good, esp. the aided detection of spammers. But what you are proposing is basically some amendments to classic dating sites, nothing about the very premise of this startup helps. And honestly, I believe the idea of having friends writing your profile is very flawed. Maybe it's my own personality, but I cannot see that happening to me or any of my friends. Online dating is never going to be perfect be…
Completely agree. I only read the post. I didn't check out the guy's dating site because I'm in a relationship and I'm still working on trying to make it more open.
The one habit I think still needs to be taught to people on dating sites is the value of publicness and openness. About two years ago I got my mom to sign up for OkCupid (a few years after her divorce) and the biggest problem I encountered was her reluctance to be open. People are afraid to put any identifying information or any information that deviates from the public image they maintain at work and in social circles. This basically sets themselves up for failure because connecting with the right people for you really is dependent on both parties being open enough to find real connections. Jeff Jarvis I think has given one of the best talks on the value of openness. If you've never seen it, definitely check it out.
[0] http://buzzmachine.com/2010/04/22/privacy-publicness-penises...
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#79[deleted]
Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell
#80Earlier quoted context omitted.
Huh? The two characters met with Tom Hank's son called into a radio program. How is that online dating?
I'm sorry, I meant You've got mail . Both films star Hanks and Ryan.
It's OK. Most Hanks/Ryan movies are the same story with different set dressing.