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Don’t Waste Your Twenties

artofmanliness.com

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Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#71

Post by rohansingh »

jasonkester wrote: post #21

Here are three of my decades thus far. I'm trying to decide which of these was "wasted" according to the article: Phase I, 21-30: "Work hard/Play hard" mode, socking away retirement savings, building skills & reputation to prepare for Phase II, nights & weekends packed with climbing trips and going out. "I think I can get a full night sleep the weekend after next". Phase II, 30-40: "Semi-retired nomad" mode, working…

Well, I'm only 24, but my life seems to be taking a pretty similar route already :)

Mind if I ask where this beautiful bouldering near Paris is? Are you referring to Fontainebleau? I've really been meaning to take advantage of being in Europe and heading down there but haven't had the chance to yet. Perhaps this summer.

Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#72

Post by timinman »

I'm nearly done with my thirties - a time when many of us start to feel uncomfortable about how much time we have left to make our mark.

I didn't make a ton of money or change the whole world in my twenties, but I did marry a great woman early (at 20), and begin to raise 3 great kids. I feel good about those decisions, but won't settle, I still feel that I've more growing up to do and greater days are ahead.

Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#73

Post by stdbrouw »

jessriedel wrote: post #20
acabal wrote: post #5

I hate these kinds of articles because they can put tremendous pressure on people. There isn't a "right" way to spend your twenties (or thirties, or any decade) and comparing yourself to Einstein and Newton and Kepler like this article does is worse than counterproductive. The only way you should concern yourself with living is to try to be happy every day, whatever that means to you. Listening to pundits showing you…

> The only way you should concern yourself with living is to try to be happy every day, whatever that means to you. Barf. There's a lot more to life and human flourishing than just making yourself happy.

Do read beyond the comma: "whatever that means to you".

Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#74

Post by snake_plissken »

god damn stop it with these articles! they are based on pointless and handpicked quips, and frankly they just drop my brain chemical levels and depress me until i go out to lunch for tasty burritos in 3 hours.

and the god damn brain formation things PLEASE neuroscience is at the most 10 years old we have no idea what the brain is doing and won't until we monitor brains the way we do now for a generation.

Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#75

Post by saryant »

michaelochurch wrote: post #49

Not buying the article. I agree that no one should waste 10 years of his life-- that seems obvious-- but the article itself is a mix of pseudoscience and anecdote. In fact, the people who seem least to be "wasting" their 20s-- the ones in IBD analyst programs and MBA programs-- are the ones losing their creativity the fastest. If you play the corporate game, creative atrophy sets in, and it's a rapid process.

This is what I realized. I did what a "successful" college grad is supposed to do: I joined a large company right after college and started a career. Problem was, I got screwed around by them and quit after six months (finishing up my two weeks notice right now).

Part of this is that I picked a bad company to join (they had me filling out dozens of meeting invites in Outlook and doing SAP data entry when I was supposedly hired as a developer) but I also spent those six months really thinking about what I wanted to do on a day-to-day basis and where I wanted to end up in 5, 10, 20 years. I realized that I wasn't creating anything, I was just following a process. Filling out database table request forms and bashing my head over trying to explain a cursor to a supposedly senior developer.

So I quit after saving up about a year's living expenses and I'm going to use the next year to figure something out, not sure what just yet. I've been kicking around a few ideas and we're going to start talking to potential customers at the end of the month.

I'll probably end up burning through my savings and going out to find another job a year from now but at least I'll have tried. If I don't do something creative I feel like I'm going to forget how. Five years from now I think I'll regret not trying more than I'll enjoy the fruits of a five-year-old career.

Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#76

Post by kingkawn »

As long as you're willing to go through the early phases of sucking at things during adulthood you'll be fine. Most people are uncomfortable sucking at things any other time than childhood. Get rid of that limitation and your whole life is time to grow not just coast.

Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#77

Post by graeme »

acabal wrote: post #5

I hate these kinds of articles because they can put tremendous pressure on people. There isn't a "right" way to spend your twenties (or thirties, or any decade) and comparing yourself to Einstein and Newton and Kepler like this article does is worse than counterproductive. The only way you should concern yourself with living is to try to be happy every day, whatever that means to you. Listening to pundits showing you…

Some people do need to hear this though. I spent ages 15-23 playing video games for hours. I could have learned programming in that time. (Probably would have, if someone had told me that programming existed)

It was fun at the time, but not really fun to reminisce on (unlike partying, which I don't regret). If I could say two things to my younger self, 'ditch video games and do something with more value' would be the second.

Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#78

Post by prawks »

return0 wrote: post #67
decasteve wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Similar trajectory here. Probably a number of HN'ers in the same boat? Phase I, 18-29. "Work, train (athletics), travel, and save money." Started working at 18. Never settled down anywhere, after 21 I started saving money. Also building contacts that will carry me into phase II. Phase II, 29-34 (now). "Husband/father/freelancer/student/athlete/coach". Pursuing studies in Math (my passion) getting ready for Grad schoo…

Clearly the lives you describe are interesting. And probably happy. Many middle-class-and-upper people strive for such a life. But these lives also seem quite photoshopped, like a packaged tour version of life. Not judging or anything, but i'm wondering if, given its utmost uniqueness, a life should be lived on a predefined plan.

You need plans (however rough) to achieve goals.

It's also quite unlikely that they summarized the entirety of their lives in ~6 sentences. Nuances and changes of plans aren't mentioned. These summaries are in retrospect. The plans are plans, and subject to change.

I think it just so happens that when you look at comfortable people's lives from 30,000 feet, they look similar. "I was young, did a bunch of fun stuff, thought about the future", then "I started a family, or got less risky", then "I know what I want to achieve next".

Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#79

Post by bluekite2000 »

jasonkester wrote: post #21

Here are three of my decades thus far. I'm trying to decide which of these was "wasted" according to the article: Phase I, 21-30: "Work hard/Play hard" mode, socking away retirement savings, building skills & reputation to prepare for Phase II, nights & weekends packed with climbing trips and going out. "I think I can get a full night sleep the weekend after next". Phase II, 30-40: "Semi-retired nomad" mode, working…

Hi Jason, I looked at your business http://www.expatsoftware.com/ why does it have to be " staffed by a number of expatriate Americans."??? Good developers don't depend on citizenships. The world is flat now.

Re: Don’t Waste Your Twenties

#80

Post by saryant »

jacques_chester wrote: post #45

I lost my 20s to depression and to the aftermath of depression. I used to be grumpy about it. However there is a thin thread of causality that leads me to the life I lead now. It's pretty good and I think it will get better. Also: The Art of Manliness is played-out schtick. Manhood doesn't come from reading about manhood on a website whose incentives are skewed to making you read more.

> However there is a thin thread of causality that leads me to the life I lead now.

While I'm still early in my 20s this is what I've realized as well. I spent much of 2011 battling depression. That year sucked and I used to wish I hadn't had to go through it and that the events which led to it hadn't happened.

Then I realized if that wish came true, I wouldn't have the friends I have today, I wouldn't have had the experiences I had in 2012 and I wouldn't be where I am right now. There's no way to see that line of causality until it's said and done.

Life is strange that way.

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