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The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

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Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#71

Post by vaksel »

Xichekolas wrote: post #40
inglorian wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm always surprised to see the extreme bitterness that comes out on these threads. >>Every single married guy I know is MISERABLE. The sex pretty much stops within the first couple of years. And the woman gains mega weight, because now that they "got" you, they don't need to keep in shape. And then the whole bitchy wife comes out treating the guy as a second class citizen. You do seem to know an awful lot of extreme…

> I'm always surprised to see the extreme bitterness that comes out on these threads. My guess (although I don't know vaksel at all) is that he is reflecting somewhat on his parents marriage. I only say this because my parent's marriage was often so. While my mom has settled a bit with age, while I was growing up she used the threat of divorce as a weapon to settle arguments with my dad. She also tended to make stupi…

actually my parents have a great marriage, which is why I'm mainly focusing on the current generation of women

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#72

Post by time_management »

ahpeeyem wrote: post #64
dgabriel wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So how do we refer to the low quality suburban men? Or is this thread limited to woman-bashing?

Bash away. I'm not saying I agree with the phrase's sentiment, it's just funny. Moo.

There's also no reason why the phrase "suburban-bred office cow" can't refer to a man. The word "bitch" is often used to describe an emasculated male, so this use of "cow" is not without precedent.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#73

Post by dgabriel »

vaksel wrote: post #68
dgabriel wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really? He didn't present any evidence, aside from some anecdotal stories about "everyone he knows," and instead presented a series of terrible stereotypes. http://www.bls.gov/cps/cpsaat2.pdf More than half of women work, and while that number is lower than the percentage of men who work (74%), it's hard to tell from the data presented whether or not advanced age affects the numbers. http://www.census.gov/Press-Relea…

what does women working have anything to do with the discussion?

In the course of this discussion, you have indicated that the men you know married women who do nothing, contribute nothing to the marriage, and somehow expected the men to give them half of everything, despite the fact that they are bitchy, lazy, worthless cows who don't put out.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#74

Post by dgabriel »

whacked_new wrote: post #69
dgabriel wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really? He didn't present any evidence, aside from some anecdotal stories about "everyone he knows," and instead presented a series of terrible stereotypes. http://www.bls.gov/cps/cpsaat2.pdf More than half of women work, and while that number is lower than the percentage of men who work (74%), it's hard to tell from the data presented whether or not advanced age affects the numbers. http://www.census.gov/Press-Relea…

I apologize for being unclear and imprecise. Evidence is not the word I should have used. I'm just talking about perspective. What the OP stated was not evidence, and neither did I have that confused. Those were judgments based on Bayesian reasoning. They are efficient and correct, by probability, in his life. I defended him because in asking "how dare you," you seem to think his opinions violate a basic right of dig…

It is difficult to see oneself repeatedly characterized as such without getting one's dander up a bit.

My suspicion is that his friends probably love their wives, and he's using their occasional and exaggerated venting to support his weird misogyny. That, or he knows the two unluckiest and easily fooled men in the country.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#75

Post by rms »

dominik wrote: post #41
rms wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Steven Rudich has a good lecture on this: http://www.cs.cmu.edu/afs/cs.cmu.edu/academic/class/15251/di... http://www.discretemath.com

Good slides; He mentions that the "largest, most successful dating service in the world" uses a computer to run the Traditional Marriage Algorithm. But which dating service is the "largest, most successful dating service in the world"?

the medical residency program

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#76

Post by vaksel »

dgabriel wrote: post #73
vaksel wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

what does women working have anything to do with the discussion?

In the course of this discussion, you have indicated that the men you know married women who do nothing, contribute nothing to the marriage, and somehow expected the men to give them half of everything, despite the fact that they are bitchy, lazy, worthless cows who don't put out.

yes they contribute nothing to the marriage, but that doesn't mean that they don't work. All of them do, except one who got laid off recently

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#77

Post by dgabriel »

vaksel wrote: post #76
dgabriel wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the course of this discussion, you have indicated that the men you know married women who do nothing, contribute nothing to the marriage, and somehow expected the men to give them half of everything, despite the fact that they are bitchy, lazy, worthless cows who don't put out.

yes they contribute nothing to the marriage, but that doesn't mean that they don't work. All of them do, except one who got laid off recently

How does a working parent contribute nothing to a marriage?

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#78

Post by vaksel »

dgabriel wrote: post #77
vaksel wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

yes they contribute nothing to the marriage, but that doesn't mean that they don't work. All of them do, except one who got laid off recently

How does a working parent contribute nothing to a marriage?

By spending all the money she earns on herself.

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#79

Post by wynand »

vaksel wrote: post #24

I think additional part of the problem is that men are starting to realize that they really don't have anything to gain by being married. And they are so afraid of having to go through a divorce that can wipe them out, that they don't feel like trying. I mean a 50% divorce rate in this country, is pretty much a coin toss on whether or not you lose everything. Seriously the only thing to gain by being married is savin…

While we're on anecdotes, I might as well add mine: I was in an almost 4 year relationship. During the last year I thought my girlfriend fit the mold described above perfectly. She was often downright unpleasant in ways that I never was.

I don't believe that in every quarrel, both parties are to blame.

But in the months after that relationship I realized that I had at least as much of a stake in the pain as she did.

It's a mistake to think that bitchiness is the only thing that hurts deeply. Neglect and intellectual intimidation and letting my body go were my sins and having experienced the first two myself (from another relationship) convinced me that there are many ways to make someone feel worthless.

Given that we men are humans who are as prone to irrationality, is there any reason why women should think better of marriage than we do?

Re: The Eligible Bachelor Paradox

#80

Post by dgabriel »

vaksel wrote: post #78
dgabriel wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How does a working parent contribute nothing to a marriage?

By spending all the money she earns on herself.

And you know many of these lazy women! In fact, all the American women you know are just like that! This is so far-fetched, so unlikely a scenario, that you have to see how ridiculous you're being.

Unless you have their balanced checkbook on hand to prove me wrong, I sincerely doubt any mom is spending all the money on herself. Working mothers don't have the freaking time to spend a whole paycheck on themselves, especially with their husbands hiding at the gym, leaving the bulk of the housework and childcare to her. No wonder these women don't want to sleep with your friends.

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