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Leave a Trace

jakeworth.com

71–80 of 82 posts

Re: Leave a Trace

#71
post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a fellow introvert, I would recommend that you see it as taking medication. Or getting exercise. You don't do it because you like it. You do it because if you don't, then you'll be worse off years later.

You say this as if introversion is something to be "cured." It's like telling a gay man that he just needs to try dating more women. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. It's not really a choice in the first place.

> You say this as if introversion is something to be "cured."

Not at all what I'm saying. You don't get cured by exercise either. You're never "done" exercising. It's just a thing you do, in order to have a long term better life.

I don't like talking to strangers. It still tastes like medicine. I have no expectation that I'll ever like it. But I still have to take my medicine, or I'll be worse off long term.

And like being sore if you've not exercised in a while, the aversion to being social is stronger after taking a "solitude vacation". But you can't not do it.

So yeah, you completely misunderstood.

Re: Leave a Trace

#72
post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You do it because if you don't, then you'll be worse off years later. This feels hyperbolic. While I would agree that community and remaining connected are very important to overall health, I don’t feel like making a habit of talking to strangers is a prerequisite.

"I don’t feel like making a habit of talking to strangers is a prerequisite." But if you practise that skill, you will then also be able to pick up a conversation with people you do find interesting.

You might not be interested in knitting, but if you keep a pair of needles around and practice a few stitches regularly, you will gain the necessary skill to do any knitting that you do find interesting. Humans are knitting animals.

Re: Leave a Trace

#73
post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You say this as if introversion is something to be "cured." It's like telling a gay man that he just needs to try dating more women. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. It's not really a choice in the first place.

> You say this as if introversion is something to be "cured." Not at all what I'm saying. You don't get cured by exercise either. You're never "done" exercising. It's just a thing you do, in order to have a long term better life. I don't like talking to strangers. It still tastes like medicine. I have no expectation that I'll ever like it. But I still have to take my medicine, or I'll be worse off long term. And like…

I still think when you use terms like "take my medicine" it's like you're trying to cure (or treat) a disease. Why will you be worse off? For me, being social is tiring and uncomfortable, but unlike exercise I don't see a benefit.

Re: Leave a Trace

#75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the context the article intends, the trace isn't really for you, it's for the people you interact with

I don't believe in that definition of altruism. To me, true altruism is selfish. If helping people makes you feel good, then you're an altruist. If helping others doesn't make you feel good innately but you do it all for others then I think there is some self-deception at play. Maybe it's a status or self-image thing? Because being an altruist is higher status and you want to see yourself as high status? I think you…

> I don't believe in that definition of altruism. To me, true altruism is selfish.

A lot of people would disagree (and IMHO, Dawkins is a grade-A asshole)

Re: Leave a Trace

#77
post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> ask the people you're waiting in line alongside if they have any good jokes. I know no one who tries striking up a conversation with strangers, and I feel like the majority of strangers would be annoyed/uncomfortable with this.

Somehow everyone gets friends - which means at some point in life everyone did talk to a stranger.

You make friends by meeting the same people in the same place(s) for a while: school, work, sport club, etc.

Re: Leave a Trace

#78

In contrast: A few years ago I was hiking on the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT). One of the few rules to follow there is to explicitly leave no trace , in respect to nature and others.

I used to go hiking in New Mexico and I actually liked when I came across little signs that someone was there: a small stack of rocks, sticks arranged in a crop-circley pattern, a makeshift bridge over a small stream, etc.

But the worst part of hiking was seeing brightly-colored bags of dog shit right next to the trail, so I guess overall I’m ok with a general “leave no trace” rule. Then again, someone inconsiderate enough to do that wouldn’t care if there was a rule against it, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Re: Leave a Trace

#79
post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You say this as if introversion is something to be "cured." Not at all what I'm saying. You don't get cured by exercise either. You're never "done" exercising. It's just a thing you do, in order to have a long term better life. I don't like talking to strangers. It still tastes like medicine. I have no expectation that I'll ever like it. But I still have to take my medicine, or I'll be worse off long term. And like…

I still think when you use terms like "take my medicine" it's like you're trying to cure (or treat) a disease. Why will you be worse off? For me, being social is tiring and uncomfortable, but unlike exercise I don't see a benefit.

> I still think when you use terms like "take my medicine" it's like you're trying to cure (or treat) a disease.

Well, that's on you. Especially since I also added "Or getting exercise" and another clarifying paragraph after that.

> For me, being social is tiring and uncomfortable

Exactly my point. "But I don't wanna!". Yeah. That's why i compare it with taking your yucky tasting medicine, or exercising.

> I don't see a benefit.

Pearls before swine, I suppose. Shrug.

Re: Leave a Trace

#80
post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I still think when you use terms like "take my medicine" it's like you're trying to cure (or treat) a disease. Why will you be worse off? For me, being social is tiring and uncomfortable, but unlike exercise I don't see a benefit.

> I still think when you use terms like "take my medicine" it's like you're trying to cure (or treat) a disease. Well, that's on you. Especially since I also added "Or getting exercise" and another clarifying paragraph after that. > For me, being social is tiring and uncomfortable Exactly my point. "But I don't wanna!". Yeah. That's why i compare it with taking your yucky tasting medicine, or exercising. > I don't se…

You’re missing the parent’s point.

You’re still making introversion out to be something that you should work at to compensate or fix, because not doing so would be unhealthy.

E.g. you exercise because if you don’t, you risk disease, cancer, and a host of other physical issues.

There’s nothing unhealthy about never striking up conversations with strangers.

There are more natural and organic ways to meet and interact with people you don’t know (many have been covered in other comments).

But striking up conversations with random strangers in public shouldn’t be equated with exercise.

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