I walk slower and talk slower than I used to, and do both way slower than people I interact with. I can appreciate things better by moving slowly, with more intention, conserving my concentration and energy for matters of substance. Why must moving slowly be stigmatised? I am surrounded by people talking at such a high rate, they start responding before the other person's sentence or thought is completely expressed.…
> by people talking at such a high rate, they start responding before the other person's sentence or thought is completely expressed. This is typical of people with ADHD. It also drives me up the wall :)
Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
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Re: Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
#72Re: Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
#73Re: Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
#74I walk slower and talk slower than I used to, and do both way slower than people I interact with. I can appreciate things better by moving slowly, with more intention, conserving my concentration and energy for matters of substance. Why must moving slowly be stigmatised? I am surrounded by people talking at such a high rate, they start responding before the other person's sentence or thought is completely expressed.…
That being said, some people don't like being too slow. I have a collegue who is clearly too slow for health reasons (overweight/unfit). When we are walking to lunch too fast for him, his excuse sounds a lot like what you said, while clearly out of his breath, because of a lack of stamina. So he frames it as a choice where we are wrong, while he is out of breath on a medium tempo walk after 100m. When I know from personal talks with him, that he dislikes being the slow one.
The human body is built to move. A lot more than most modern people move during their typical days. Not moving it, or moving it in ways that avoid effort has serious health effects. That doesn't mean we have to move fast always, but if your reason for not moving fast is an inability to do so, that is bad both for your body and for your mental capacity.
Moving slowly can be very exhausting. Try holding out you arm in front of you for a minute. So for many this isn't about moving slowly, it is about moving lazily.
Talking about responding too fast: Yes listening is a key skill many people fail to deploy. Yet effective communication sometimes works way differently than just listening to the words someone said. Here I have to think about another friend of mine. She talks very slowly and has the habbit of talking in circles. Meaning if you won't eventually interrupt her, you will hear variations of the same thought that has been expressed in the first 10 seconds spread out over minutes. This happens even with things where the first thing she said was a yes/no question you could answer in a second. A surprising amount of people will just talk until you interrupt them. In fact they want you to interrupt them, it stresses them out if you leave them hanging to fill more time. Those people would just have to get to the point, but they seem to have an inability to do so.
Effective communication after the sender/message/receiver model happens if the receiver can quickly decode the original thought encoded into the message (=words) by the sender. Old couples for example will not have to say many words in order for the other to understand what they feel and want to express. It is like they read each others mind, because communication isn't about reading the message and interpreting the words objectively, it is about decoding the thoughts, feelings and intentions encoded in the message made in the circumstances it was made.
That can lead to complications, if person A understands person B quickly, but person B doesn't trust person A to do so. Then person B needlessly insists on elaborating until the point is reached where sufficient information has been packed into the message to get the thought across. That means person B has a mental model of how person A may understand certain words that is way to pessimistic. For bad communicators that mental model is overly broad and unpersonalized ("throw words at the other side at some point they will understand"), while good communicators can quickly form and refine their understanding of how the other side receives messages. In the best case that works like with the old couple. In the worst case someone convinced themselves they can read minds, while all they do is guess and interrupt.
That means being interrupted can mean a person thinks they understood what you were saying. If this happens often and the person opposite gets it right, that is a sign they understand you well. If it happens often and the person opposite gets you wrong, either your thoughts feel more complex to you than they are or you need to work on the way you encode the thoughts into words (e.g. lead with the least obvious thought to avoid them hooking onto the first thing).
Re: Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
#75I walk slower and talk slower than I used to, and do both way slower than people I interact with. I can appreciate things better by moving slowly, with more intention, conserving my concentration and energy for matters of substance. Why must moving slowly be stigmatised? I am surrounded by people talking at such a high rate, they start responding before the other person's sentence or thought is completely expressed.…
I always found it funny the speeches of Alan watts is just how slow he generally talked, and yet that didn't mean the message was slow.
I also find it funny that there are loads of AI copies of him and they are all racing through the script as they cannot grasp his slower cadence.
Re: Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
#76Its because I can hear the noise my knees are making.
He read more into the topic and figured that it is mostly a question of training. Since in my family many do sports, I have seen this many times: have an issue with some joint, back, whatever? Unless you broke a bone or have an open wound that typically means you need to find the right training to get over it.
Usually the worst is not moving at all.
Re: Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
#77Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why strength training, instead of, say, ultimate frisbee or pickleball?
I'm a big fan of strength training, but think it too often gets suggested as the solution to every problem, when really, we need some mix of strength training, cardio (anything from walking, to martial arts or team sports, whatever you'll actually do), mobility, and balance training. Your cardio/activity, depending on your choice could, account for a lot of this.
So just any activity will do, as long as you like it enough to do it regularly.
The rest is refinement.
Re: Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
#78I walk slower and talk slower than I used to, and do both way slower than people I interact with. I can appreciate things better by moving slowly, with more intention, conserving my concentration and energy for matters of substance. Why must moving slowly be stigmatised? I am surrounded by people talking at such a high rate, they start responding before the other person's sentence or thought is completely expressed.…
>Why must moving slowly be stigmatised? Because some of us have jobs to get to, trains to catch, appointments to make, airplane gates to queue at, and just generally need to get-things-done! All for slowness, but not amongst pedestrians.
I am in two minds on that.
Firstly, they should be a little more aware if others around them.
Second, why are we rushing everywhere? Why can't we just take it slow?
I cannot reconcile that other than a middle path between them.
Re: Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
#79When I am with friends, I much prefer taking the time to listen to them, ask follow-up questions. Turns out this is the bare minimum, but it made me appreciate the conversations a lot more.
Talking with family is impossible because, the moment my words are not part of their thought process, they will interrupt me, or just pretend they're distracted.
Re: Walking slower? Your ears, not your knees, might be the problem
#80Earlier quoted context omitted.
>Why must moving slowly be stigmatised? Because some of us have jobs to get to, trains to catch, appointments to make, airplane gates to queue at, and just generally need to get-things-done! All for slowness, but not amongst pedestrians.
People walking much slower than everyone else the crowd are called Meanderthals. I am in two minds on that. Firstly, they should be a little more aware if others around them. Second, why are we rushing everywhere? Why can't we just take it slow? I cannot reconcile that other than a middle path between them.
I assign _zero_ value to walking between the train and my house. When I get home I can play video games / make food / read a book / play music / whatever. Every minute spent commuting is a minute of enjoyment lost vOv