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A Journey Through Infertility

pudding.cool

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Re: A Journey Through Infertility

#71

Post by brabel »

alphawhisky wrote: post #42
rayiner wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You’re correct. All this talk about when people choose to have kids over-intellectualizes that what is a biological function. My wife and I have three kids. I’m not sure you can say any of them resulted from a rigorous analysis. We had our first in law school as a happy surprise. We theoretically planned our second and third, a six year gap after the first. But that the timing coincided with moving from an apartment…

"Less able to persuade women into doing so" is crazy. IMO the single biggest factor preventing kids right now in the US and other developed countries is the effects of COVID on the global economy along with the most significant period of global economic uncertainty in at least the 21st century. The amount of energy put into fertility is a waste, and by just enabling everyone to afford children the population problem…

Your theory is easily disproven by looking at other countries with far more volatile economies than the USA. They almost always have much higher fertility rates no matter how bad their economies are. But don’t feel bad: every single theory people have come up to explain decreasing fertility rates in nearly every country on the planet can be shown to not match reality one way or another. Whoever comes up with an explanation that matches reality is going to get a Nobel Prize.

Re: A Journey Through Infertility

#72

Post by skissane »

brabel wrote: post #70
skissane wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Wife does not even want sex for a few years. I have no idea what the problem is. If you know, please let me know!!! Have you talked to her about what the problem is? It doesn’t sound like you have. In which case, that almost certainly is at least part of the problem

Oh what amazing advice! Never thought to ask her why! Seriously: she is really good at evading conversations like that. I have done all I could imagine to get her to actually talk about kids and our non existing intimate relationship. She always either gets angry or silent or changes the topic. Without knowing anything about me, some people are always inclined to believe something is wrong with me, not her. That’s so…

You don’t sound happy. If you don’t have kids, why stay together?

Re: A Journey Through Infertility

#73

Post by Timwi »

prodigycorp wrote: post #28

pudding.cool articles are very neat, but the ergonomics of this particular article is really bad. It's been a long day, my wrists and fingers are tired, and i cant be bothered to fight to scroll down.

I found it very comfortable to read on mobile. You only press a Next button (and occasionally a pop-up link for extra info). No scrolling and certainly no fighting.

Re: A Journey Through Infertility

#74

Post by Timwi »

randyrand wrote: post #10
hydrox24 wrote: post #8

This is a beautifully designed website. But I also think it's quite... problematic that the child's journey begins with the egg, as if the unfertilized egg is the child — and skips any mention of the sperm and the father. It feels like this site is almost erasing the father from the IVF process.

Perhaps it was a sperm donor? There doesn’t necessarily have to be a traditional father.

That is a good point, although if that is the case the story should have mentioned it for perspective.

Re: A Journey Through Infertility

#75

Post by Timwi »

63 wrote: post #49
63 wrote: post #48

There's many reasons why this piece wasn't made for me, so I don't want to begrudge anyone, but I wonder how much we can do to alieve this as a society by normalizing childlessness. I never wanted to have kids, but if I did, I doubt I would've been willing to endure what the author did for it. You can (and honestly I think most people should) live a long and fulfilling life without having kids. Myself and so many of…

Another quick thought - so long as we live in a world where children in need of adoption exist, I hope we can make adopting more normal too. If you're in a position to become a parent, why on Earth would adoption not be the default? It seems much better for everyone involved. The fixation on breeding and having children whose genetics perfectly match your own is strange and mildly alarming to me.

Although I agree with your sentiment, it should be remembered that the fixation on breeding is fundamentally baked into our psychology by evolution. We can argue against it logically, but we can't tell people to just stop feeling a certain way.

Re: A Journey Through Infertility

#76

Post by Timwi »

imtringued wrote: post #69
63 wrote: post #48

There's many reasons why this piece wasn't made for me, so I don't want to begrudge anyone, but I wonder how much we can do to alieve this as a society by normalizing childlessness. I never wanted to have kids, but if I did, I doubt I would've been willing to endure what the author did for it. You can (and honestly I think most people should) live a long and fulfilling life without having kids. Myself and so many of…

> hope someday having children becomes the exception rather than the norm, because it doesn't feel like something that should be taken lightly. Doesn't this seem extremely selfish? The fewer mothers there are, the more children each mother will have to give birth to. If one in two women decide to become mothers, then each mother needs to have four children. If one in four become mothers, then it means each mother nee…

I'm confused. Your second to last paragraph implies an anti-capitalist stance, and yet the rest of your post reiterates capitalist propaganda. All of your “has to”s/“needs to”s fall under this. Needs to for what? For the grass to grow and the birds to sing? No, it's for the capitalist machinery to chug along.

You also talk about selfishness but at same time are implying that you want children to work so that you can have your cushy retirement. Our society should just stick together in solidarity; to paint this as “leeching” is also capitalist propaganda.

Re: A Journey Through Infertility

#77

Post by jacquesm »

skissane wrote: post #72
brabel wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Oh what amazing advice! Never thought to ask her why! Seriously: she is really good at evading conversations like that. I have done all I could imagine to get her to actually talk about kids and our non existing intimate relationship. She always either gets angry or silent or changes the topic. Without knowing anything about me, some people are always inclined to believe something is wrong with me, not her. That’s so…

You don’t sound happy. If you don’t have kids, why stay together?

Do you specialize in asking rude obvious questions?
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