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The three year myth

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Re: The three year myth

#71

Post by Majromax »

cardanome wrote: post #68
jtrn wrote: post #54

For anybody that is interested in a clinical psychologist's take, here is mine… This article triggers an overwhelming feeling that something is missing in the story. Of course, being fired is genuinely painful, and the author's emotional state is understandable. But I think there is a much better way to understand this situation that would be beneficial to the author. Please note that this is just a guess, and in rea…

> The OCD mention functions similarly and it explains the overanalysis as a feature, not something that might be creating friction with colleagues. Because it is both and this is a very classic problem for neurodivergent people. As a ADHD person I could very much relate. My pattern recognition allows me to see connections and structure where neurotypical people only see chaos. I am often three, four, five steps ahead…

> I don't really have a solution.

The trick is to be the Oracle of Delphi, not Cassandra.

Make the prediction once, with politeness and humility, and preferably in enough company that your opinion is noted even if (when) it is overridden. Use it as an opportunity to be seen as wise, not just smart.

Then, keep contingency plans. When the problem manifests, have a solution ready as best you can given your limited position. Even when it's too late to avoid the whole problem, you might be able to limit the blast radius. Again, be public but polite about it, and most importantly never say "I told you so" or otherwise appear smug.

You want to cultivate the reputation of "the person who is right but easy to work with, and who always has your back in a pinch."

Re: The three year myth

#72

Post by bluecheese452 »

K0balt wrote: post #46
JackFr wrote: post #40

Losing your job sucks. Typically, there is no silver lining. I’ve been laid off 2x and those were both among the worst experiences of my life. > rawness is an excellent time to reflect on what went right and what I could've done better, before the brain starts coping with the trauma of the event in question. But that isn’t what he’s done in the essay. I don’t think he’s doing an honest assessment of what he could hav…

If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general. It’s not a stable situation, and there is no social aspect in reality. It’s an accounting decision. Employment is almost always exploitation on one side or the other, with the best case being mutual exploitation. Employment inherently involves paying less for your work than it is worth. In an ideal situa…

That is nice but my bills still need to be paid.

Re: The three year myth

#73

Post by begueradj »

> Your performance review is solid, of course, your deliverables unimpeachable, but something begins to feel increasingly off. Your colleagues are in more meetings, but your task list only grows longer. Your progress on said project is appreciated by your boss and team, maybe even your boss' boss, but never really recognized.

Managers sabotage talented employees: https://www.library.hbs.edu/working-knowledge/what-drives-ma...

Re: The three year myth

#74

Post by Throaway1982 »

pipes wrote: post #66
hunta2097 wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know someone who has used this trick to get a pay rise whilst not looking for work. You wait until your boss is in earshot, get someone to ring you and the walk quickly away from your desk saying "yes, yes I'm still interested... Just a sec". It might make your boss actually consider the reality of replacing you.

I'm sorry that just comes across as unprofessional, weak and passive aggressive. If someone started doing that on my team I'd take it as part of the case against them not a reason to fight to keep them. Also presumably that's in ear shot of other team members, it's disruptive to team morale. If you are serious about looking elsewhere, make it clear you want to stay but xyz is making you consider other options. Do it…

Very principled of you. Not sure management would be as ethical.

Re: The three year myth

#75

Post by Throaway1982 »

K0balt wrote: post #46
JackFr wrote: post #40

Losing your job sucks. Typically, there is no silver lining. I’ve been laid off 2x and those were both among the worst experiences of my life. > rawness is an excellent time to reflect on what went right and what I could've done better, before the brain starts coping with the trauma of the event in question. But that isn’t what he’s done in the essay. I don’t think he’s doing an honest assessment of what he could hav…

If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general. It’s not a stable situation, and there is no social aspect in reality. It’s an accounting decision. Employment is almost always exploitation on one side or the other, with the best case being mutual exploitation. Employment inherently involves paying less for your work than it is worth. In an ideal situa…

Being told you no longer have the ability to provide for yourself is also violence, especially when the onus on finding a new means of provision is 100% up to you.

Re: The three year myth

#76

Post by locknitpicker »

krisoft wrote: post #31

If you ask for a raise and they say “maybe in two to three years” thats simply a polite no. > “you know the world outside is hostile to job seekers and a steady paycheck beats the unemployment line” You can search for a new job while employed. Unless you are stuck on an underwater submarine playing hide-and-seek you can always fire off a few inquiries.

> You can search for a new job while employed. Unless you are stuck on an underwater submarine playing hide-and-seek you can always fire off a few inquiries.

Technically you can, but there are recruiters who tag you as unreliable and a mercenary for trying to jump ship. I had the displeasure of interviewing with a hiring manager who seemed to have booked an interview just to criticize the audacity of an applicant for having applied to their open position while still employed. I'm talking about a tone such as presenting gems such as "how can I defend your application to other hiring managers" and "why would we invest in you if you're likely to switch roles in two years".

Re: The three year myth

#77

Post by matsemann »

massysett wrote: post #52
ozim wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am doing that but I also got annoyed by recruiters or HR or whoever that was in last 2 inquiries I sent out. They would call me out of the blue in the middle of the day expecting I pick up and have time to talk with them like I would be jobless person waiting for them to call. I didn’t pick up at all because I was busy. Earlier I remember I would get an email to at least give me heads up they will contact me next w…

With a mentality like that no, you’re not going to get another job. Job seeking while you’re employed means you have to subjugate the needs of your current employer. When an opportunity calls? You pick up the phone! You’re the kind of person who is so dedicated to your job that you will have to lose it and then be unemployed before you get a new one. That is absolutely ok. Job seeking while employed takes a ton of en…

I don't think signaling that you're disloyal to where you work is a good way of landing a new job.

Re: The three year myth

#78

Post by jtbayly »

K0balt wrote: post #46
JackFr wrote: post #40

Losing your job sucks. Typically, there is no silver lining. I’ve been laid off 2x and those were both among the worst experiences of my life. > rawness is an excellent time to reflect on what went right and what I could've done better, before the brain starts coping with the trauma of the event in question. But that isn’t what he’s done in the essay. I don’t think he’s doing an honest assessment of what he could hav…

If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general. It’s not a stable situation, and there is no social aspect in reality. It’s an accounting decision. Employment is almost always exploitation on one side or the other, with the best case being mutual exploitation. Employment inherently involves paying less for your work than it is worth. In an ideal situa…

I challenge you to think about the implications of if you were right.

If employment is violence, we should end it. But then almost everybody would die.

If paying for labor is violence, paying for a product is violence. Nobody should be allowed to buy or sell (or trade). But then everybody would die.

In a good economic transaction, whether purchase of product or labor, both parties end up happy with what they got out of the transaction. What is your time not working worth to you? If that value is higher than the money you get paid for your time and labor, then quit. Nobody is forcing you to work. But then, if you don’t have anything to eat, the value of your empty time might decrease in your own judgment. You might think, actually, I’ve got an excess of time and energy, and I’ve got a need for money and food.

I think it’s a pretty sweet deal to be able to work and get paid. Not violence.

Re: The three year myth

#79

Post by bko »

krisoft wrote: post #31

If you ask for a raise and they say “maybe in two to three years” thats simply a polite no. > “you know the world outside is hostile to job seekers and a steady paycheck beats the unemployment line” You can search for a new job while employed. Unless you are stuck on an underwater submarine playing hide-and-seek you can always fire off a few inquiries.

Exactly. A lot of this reads as a coping story about losing a job. If you were laid off, chances are you weren't valuable enough. Pure layoffs happen. But from my experience useful employees almost never get let go. Doesnt mean theyre bad, just they weren't productive in the organization.

Another thing I will note is that most startups start w very little formal process. If someone wants a promotion you can just do it. But w more people you need to manage expectations. If you start dolling out promotions ad hoc, others will try to ask. And most employees are just mediocre and its difficult to be upfront w them and tell them. So it opens up the floodgates of requests

Re: The three year myth

#80

Post by locknitpicker »

K0balt wrote: post #46
JackFr wrote: post #40

Losing your job sucks. Typically, there is no silver lining. I’ve been laid off 2x and those were both among the worst experiences of my life. > rawness is an excellent time to reflect on what went right and what I could've done better, before the brain starts coping with the trauma of the event in question. But that isn’t what he’s done in the essay. I don’t think he’s doing an honest assessment of what he could hav…

If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general. It’s not a stable situation, and there is no social aspect in reality. It’s an accounting decision. Employment is almost always exploitation on one side or the other, with the best case being mutual exploitation. Employment inherently involves paying less for your work than it is worth. In an ideal situa…

> If losing your job is traumatic, I’d suggest reviewing your relationship with employers and employment in general.

This is a rather clueless and ignorant opinion to have. Your job is what pays your mortgage/rent and your bills, and it's a key factor in where you chose to live. Your job has a fundamental impact in your personal life and your family's experience.

Once you are fired, odds are your life will change radically. And not on your terms.

You should refrain from commenting on things you know nothing about. In occasions such as these, you are clearly both talking out of sheer ignorance and downplaying someone else's traumatic experiences.

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