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The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

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Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#71

Post by rambambram »

jmkni wrote: post #40

I love sitting alone in Wetherspoons, and working, it's actually perfect because: - None of my colleagues, and nobody in any of my social circles, would ever be seen dead there - You meet the best people, everyones really nice - Nobody judges anybody, we're all just there go get a bit pissed, lots of people socialising, some people are there doing a crossword, I'm just a guy sitting on my laptop coding, nobody cares…

Apparently Wetherspoons is British? Never heard of it. Now I'm curious to the characters inside, got some memorable anecdotes?

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#74

Post by Tagbert »

cm2012 wrote: post #69
unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

It can be at first until you get used to it. You can observe your surroundings, make up stories about what is happening. Ask yourself questions. Listen to yourself.

This is a bit like excercise. When you first start, 30 minutes of exercise can be torture as your is out of shape and not used to the effort. Keep doing it and it feels better and you feel better.

Work on becoming a source of thoughts rather than a consumer of thoughts.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#75

Post by Tagbert »

8organicbits wrote: post #39
arccy wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

with a modicum of self control, you can turn off your phone when it's not needed.

As a parent of young children I've found that I need my phone on any time my children are not with me. Calls from school or day care don't always come from the same number, so I answer every call when my kids are in the care of others (but none otherwise).

Then practice keeping your phone in your pocket for increasingly long periods of time. You may need to build up to this and to develop some level of control.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#76

Post by phantasmish »

CrossVR wrote: post #10
soared wrote: post #3

This reminds me of the “techbro discovers very common x thing” meme. Going to a coffee shop (that is 75% solo remote workers) without your phone and pretending it’s some divine experience feels conceited. Do things you like, sometimes don’t check your phone. Very well written title though.

techbro discovers sitting down for a cup of coffee doesn't need to be a networking event.

… but does turn it into “content”.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#77

Post by amanaplanacanal »

cm2012 wrote: post #69
unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

When I was younger I used to visit a local zendo, and I think the meditation sessions were 40 minutes. It's definitely an experience. Very easy to fall asleep without external distractions. The idea was to just learn to concentrate on bodily sensations, skin, breathing, sound.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#79

Post by spudlyo »

I struggled greatly with this article. There was something halting about it. Something precious. I felt that the author desperately wanted to elevate the mundane into the realm of the sublime.

I found myself annoyed.

I thought to myself "Are paragraphs a renewable resource? Is it wrong to waste them?"

It doesn't matter.

In neuroscience, there is a thing called the "default mode network" which is best known for being active when a person is not focused on anything in particular. The mind is awake, but at rest, like when you're daydreaming, bored, and have no goal oriented tasks. All sorts of neat stuff happens in this network, things like "shower thoughts", self reflection, autobiographical memories, thoughts about future goals and events, trying to figure out the people in your life -- their desires, intentions, emotions and thoughts. In boring situations like when I'm on the bus, or waiting in line for something, I'll spin it as an opportunity to spend time with the ole' default mode network. It's a good time observe people around you, as they're often completely engrossed in their devices. Occasionally I'll seek out other folks who are also chilling in the default mode network, and we'll sometimes share a knowing look.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#80

Post by Tarsul »

arccy wrote: post #28
moooo99 wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. The annoying part is that this becomes increasingly difficult to impossible. For example, I can't use public transport without my phone anymore, because my ticket is bound to my phone and the provider does not issue paper tickets or smartcards anymore. Less severe but equally frustrating, many restaurants choose to use QR codes for menus rathe…

with a modicum of self control, you can turn off your phone when it's not needed.

Humans are not rational. Even if you are 99% of the time, with a smartphone in your pocket there's a good chance you will use it for your emotional 1% within 2hours (and unravel). Read Rutger Bregman's goal for 2026: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/jan/04/lifes-t...
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