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We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

bbc.co.uk

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Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#71

Post by afiori »

tclancy wrote: post #64
moondowner wrote: post #60

> The homeless centre told them Ronnie needed an address to get a job, Rob said, but "to get an address, you need a job". > "That's the Catch 22 that loads of homeless people are in." Breaking this systemic barrier would make life easier on a lot of people.

Yes. I’d like to think having a mobile phone would be enough but there’s still how work can write you a check and how you can deposit it. Not sure if any bank will go without a fixed address.

A reasonable solution is to get a free "address" from the post office with optionally phone notifications for mail

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#72

Post by aleph_minus_one »

catlikesshrimp wrote: post #61
fragmede wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not going to share a personal example, but eg plug "I bought my mom a vacuum cleaner for her birthday. Why did she get mad at me? she keeps complaining about the old one!" into ChatGPT vs find me any human willing to sit down and have that as an actual discussion with me as a human of any age. I'm just supposed to get it? I'm a fucking monster and unworthy of being loved because I need that explained to me? "You shou…

To be honest, that can happen to any kid depending on the background I grew up at a time when a home appliance was an acceptable gift for the woman in charge. I heard women complaining progressively more through time, and now it is not an acceptable gift.

> I grew up at a time when a home appliance was an acceptable gift for the woman in charge.

This is also how I grew up (my parents were a little bit more on the conservative side). This together with the fact that I am not deeply knowledgable in the US-American common practices also made it hard for me to understand why the mother was angry about this gift, in particular considering that she did complain about the old one.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#73

Post by fny »

cogman10 wrote: post #13

Beautiful story but with a sad undertone. A large percentage of the homeless have autism [1]. And that really sucks. If these people don't have support, their lives can turn miserable fast. And unfortunately it's just way too easy for these people to end up in abusive situations. It's a lot of work to care for people with autism (moderate to severe). There is no standard for what they need, their capabilities can be…

In the US, homeless individuals foremost suffer from financial hardship not mental illness. Consider 39% of homeless individuals are in families [0: Page 17] while 40% have a serious mental illness or drug problem.[1] Many develop these problems while homeless.

Homelessness in the US has also increased by 47% since 2018. [0: Page 2] I doubt homelessness or drug abuse has increased accordingly.

People make the mistake to think otherwise because its not the homelessness you often see.

[0]: https://www.huduser.gov/portal/sites/default/files/pdf/2024-...

[1]: https://www.kff.org/medicaid/five-key-facts-about-people-exp...

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#74

Post by aleph_minus_one »

ekjhgkejhgk wrote: post #62
rwmj wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wait, hitchhiking is illegal (in the US presumably)? (Supplemental question: how do you make hitching illegal?) In the UK I've met many interesting people both while hitchhiking myself, and while picking up hitchers. It is a practice that seems to have almost entirely disappeared here, not because it's illegal, but I guess because most people now have cars and some "stranger danger" worries.

You should watch Rambo: First Blood. Great movie.

The (US-American) title of the movie is only "First Blood". :-)

Only from the sequel on ("Rambo: First Blood Part II") "Rambo" is part of the film title, see https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Rambo_(franchise)...

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#75

Post by [deleted] »

aleph_minus_one wrote: post #70
idiotsecant wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The default instinctual reaction of nearly everyone to someone who lets the mask slip and exhibits spectrum behaviours is somewhat like they would react to seeing a large spider. The knee jerk baked in emotional response is a mix of fear, disgust, and 'other'ing. OP isn't making some claim that neurotypicals are consciously intolerant. I would, however, make the claim that regardless of what actions people consciousl…

> The default instinctual reaction of nearly everyone to someone who lets the mask slip and exhibits spectrum behaviours is somewhat like they would react to seeing a large spider. The knee jerk baked in emotional response is a mix of fear, disgust, and 'other'ing. OP isn't making some claim that neurotypicals are consciously intolerant. I would, however, make the claim that regardless of what actions people consciou…

[deleted]

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#76

Post by oulipo2 »

lurk2 wrote: post #69
oulipo2 wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That wasn't the point of the answer. The point is "How well do you really know someone?". You really don't. Many people live with partners who end up killing them, although they thought they trusted them. Besides, "Bayes law" is not on your side on this one, it's well-known that "regular people" are over-represented in homicide, and "autistic people" or even "schizophrenic people" are under-represented and are mostly…

> it's well-known that "regular people" are over-represented in homicide, and "autistic people" or even "schizophrenic people" are under-represented and are mostly harmless It is?

It is, indeed. It's a wrongly-held belief that there is more violent behaviors and crimes from schizophrenic people, etc, but the reverse is true

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#77

Post by speleding »

moondowner wrote: post #60

> The homeless centre told them Ronnie needed an address to get a job, Rob said, but "to get an address, you need a job". > "That's the Catch 22 that loads of homeless people are in." Breaking this systemic barrier would make life easier on a lot of people.

Yes, it's not just homeless people with this bootstrapping problem. When I first arrived to the US in the nineties as a student I needed a social security number, for this I needed a P.O. Box (they did not accept the dorm house as address). For the P.O. Box I needed a social security number. Most international students ended up breaking the deadlock by making up a social security number.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#78

Post by lynx97 »

idiotsecant wrote: post #65
ajb wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Non-neurotypicals can receive bad treatment from neurotypicals. But, it's also a trap to start thinking that neurotypicals are 100% intolerant. The corollary of not knowing when they're offending people, is that they also don't know when they're receiving tolerance - which is actually a lot; although it's understandable that this is not obvious.

The default instinctual reaction of nearly everyone to someone who lets the mask slip and exhibits spectrum behaviours is somewhat like they would react to seeing a large spider. The knee jerk baked in emotional response is a mix of fear, disgust, and 'other'ing. OP isn't making some claim that neurotypicals are consciously intolerant. I would, however, make the claim that regardless of what actions people consciousl…

> initial reaction is hard to hide and is profoundly impactful to the people who see it a million times

I can relate this very much, and I am "just" 100% blind. I believe what we are talking about is not "neurotypicals" vs "non-neurotypicals", it is really the way society treats anyone with a pertceived disability. We are, even though society tries to keep the mask on, outcasts, and we are regularily enough treated like that we learn on a deep level that we are just not part of the rest of society. Sure, there is a "spectrum" of how good a person with a disability might cope, but at the end of the day, if I throw myself into the masses and have random interactions, I always learn the same lesson: random strangers will keep treating me in a very uncomfortable way. Sure, many people try their best. Some even come across as creepy by trying so hard. But the statistics never changes. I will never feel like a "normal" person, they will make sure I never will.

Re: We invited a man into our home at Christmas and he stayed with us for 45 years

#80

Post by broretore »

fny wrote: post #73
cogman10 wrote: post #13

Beautiful story but with a sad undertone. A large percentage of the homeless have autism [1]. And that really sucks. If these people don't have support, their lives can turn miserable fast. And unfortunately it's just way too easy for these people to end up in abusive situations. It's a lot of work to care for people with autism (moderate to severe). There is no standard for what they need, their capabilities can be…

In the US, homeless individuals foremost suffer from financial hardship not mental illness. Consider 39% of homeless individuals are in families [0: Page 17] while 40% have a serious mental illness or drug problem.[1] Many develop these problems while homeless. Homelessness in the US has also increased by 47% since 2018. [0: Page 2] I doubt homelessness or drug abuse has increased accordingly. People make the mistake…

Do you want to fix the typo?
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