> Respectfully, if there is one thing that America does well it's caring about its image - the soft projection of power by export of its culture is one thing that no other country has been able to replicate anywhere near as well, maybe except for Japan.
Image and and projection of power are not the same thing. The anticipation of a threat is what projection of power is. As far as the soft project of power and diplomatic reputation, that is just our government taking the path of least resistance. The american people themselves not only couldn't care less (with the exception of the more educated/urban populace), the majority can't even tell you what our government is up to overseas or why they should about people in Europe or elsewhere think badly of the US. You're seeing trump insult our closet ally Canada and dismantling NATO, I'd wager 60% of Americans neither care about that, nor if they were educated on the subject in detail would they care.
Of course we want the world to like us, everyone wants to be liked. But like anyone else, security and wealth are more desirable than being liked. But even if money and security aren't at stake, other countries are just so far away both physically and in relation to the day to day lives of americans, it just doesn't register as a big deal if the whole of Europe hates america for example. As far as I'm personally aware, most of Europe has been hating America for a long time anyways? At least after 9/11.
The reason things like racism, social equality,etc.. are so talked about in America vs Europe is that Americans don't care if the world thinks negatively about us. Europe has all those problems, sometimes worse depending on the country, but Europeans care a lot about their image. I'd say China, Russia, and a few other countries I can think of have similar sentiment about foreign image of their country. We all keep having a negative image of China being a totalitarian nightmare or whatever, but the people love their country and approve of their government, couldn't care less what some westerners think of them.
> And then we grew up and realized that most of it was just a lie.
I think that's just our intel and diplomatic services working really well. You thought America was made up of better people than elsewhere, but you found out we're just humans that want the same things and have the same priorities as everyone else. i wouldn't say most of that is a lie though, even now under trump's nightmarish administration, America is still the best place to migrate to, the best place to prosper economically and seek education, to be tread equally and enjoy a decent quality of life -- for most of the world that is. I think japan and korean entertainment is getting really good, but the US is still the best. The national parks of the US and the national wilderness is second to none, I'd even call it the best feature of America.
Where the US fell short of your expectation is around things like freedom, liberty and democracy, the US did a lot of things under the guise of spreading those things, but in reality it was always for geopolitical and strategic reasons.
The whole "we're the good guys" thing was well intended but came with fine print of "So long as it's in our best interest". All in all the US treated the world better than the USSR, colonial powers of Europe, Ottomans and all the other empires preceding the US. In Korea, the US fought to assist south korea, to contain China. Vietnam had the exact reason (contain China/communism), but a false narrative was given to the public, but still, it was done to assist the southern vietnamese government, in Kuwait, the US kicked out Sadam to assist the Kuwaiti government. Even in the 2003 Iraq war, the US leadership naively expected Iraqis to welcome them for freeing them from Saddam's tyranny (and tbf, many did!), both Iraq and Afghanistan were not for oil or flexing muscles but as part of a strategy to stabilize the region (but again -- false narrative was given to the public). I don't want to make this post longer than I should, but all in all, and with a historical perspective, there has never been a more benevolent and well intentioned country wielding power to invade and decimate any opposition like the US.
I think your experience is similar to kids growing up and finding out their parents are just regular people with many faults. But I think intent matters a lot.
> Obviously all of those things can be obtained elsewhere, but there is a reason why countries have been buying those things from Russia - they have a lot of it and they sell it cheap.
The US has never relied on them at least. Every time western europe relies on russia for trade it comes back to bite them. I don't think they have anything that is so rare that you need them for it. Ukraine for example exports so much wheat/grain that there is a real concern of global famine if they were to cease exporting. Taiwan has semiconductors, China has dominated rare earth mineral extraction/exporting. Even the US doesn't have much in terms of trade leverage on the supply side of things.