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How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

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Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#71

Post by bustling-noose »

farts_mckensy wrote: post #42
sour-taste wrote: post #38

This isn't at all a rebuttal of the post, more a different perspective. I started a new job while basically deeply depressed. It colored all my opinions of the company and my coworkers. As I'm coming out of that through a combination of medication and intensive CBT I'm realizing that a lot of the negativity I felt towards my job was the result of the depression. As things improve I'm realizing that the job is mostly…

On the other hand, some studies show that mildly depressed people have a more accurate model of the world. So what if you were right about your job initially, and the CBT is basically just gaslighting you into spinning things in a positive way?

I would like to add to this. I have been depressed since I was a teenager. Anxiety Panic attacks, poor sleep, s*ci*l tendencies. I was able to finally get a job at 29 and first 3 months into it, I realized this is not a right fit and the company and its management is chaotic at best. It was a red flag right from the start but I ignored it because I was desperate for a WFH job. After 3 years of therapy, my views had changed that it's not so bad (something that I think the optimistic view changed). I was also looking to move to North America so I kept stalling to find a new job but that was a different thing. After I slipped back into depression a while ago, I again started seriously considering quitting because now in 3 years the company has grown somehow and some of the employees are really toxic. In 3-5 months I seriously want to quit this time whether I switch or no as I will complete 4 years at a company I never planned on working beyond 6 months. So there might be some truth to this. When I am depressed I see all the realistic things going on. When I am doing well I tend to ignore lot of the red flags.

Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#72

Post by hyperadvanced »

mastazi wrote: post #31
parpfish wrote: post #30

i worry that i've job hopped a bit too much and have a series of 2-3yr gigs on my resume. part of my problem is that I get unhappy (or bored) with a job but sit in denial for too long. so by the time I start looking for a new position, I'll desperately jump headfirst into a new gig instead of lining up the perfect gig. Or maybe not. maybe it's impossible to tell if a place is a good fit from the interview.

2-3 yr gigs in 2025 is completely OK, we're not in the 80's and people are not expected to work many years for an employer, especially in the modern workplace where the "normal" way to get a promotion is job hopping. FWIW I have several shorter gigs in my resume. A combination of me being still young and not evaluating things correctly, and employers not being honest about working conditions. I even once stayed at on…

Same company same title for 5 years is slacker zone. Same company getting promoted is a good sign. 10 jobs in 10 years is a never ever.

Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#73

Post by bustling-noose »

Vespasian wrote: post #50
farts_mckensy wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

On the other hand, some studies show that mildly depressed people have a more accurate model of the world. So what if you were right about your job initially, and the CBT is basically just gaslighting you into spinning things in a positive way?

Assuming that is true, does a more negative way of viewing things actually benefit you (even if it would be slightly more "accurate")? If one has a choice (that means if there is no case of clinical depression): At least anecdotally a bit of optimism improves my life quality a lot and results in a higher productivity, proactive solution finding and a more pleasant work environment. Constantly looking at the negative…

I agree. While depression and negativity leads you to see things practically rather than in an optimistic and hopeful way, the quality of life and satisfaction in a little optimistic world is much better. I am yet to read Daniel Kahneman but he talks about optimism a lot.

Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#74

Post by toomanyrichies »

bravesoul2 wrote: post #47
amackera wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you expand on why you avoid Rails? I'm legitimately curious! Edit: I see your other replies, nvm!

I found a correlation between Rails and lower salaries. Not sure why though. I was actively looking to move to Rails for a change of scenery, until I realised it comes with a tax.

What country were you searching in? I'm an American work-from-home Rails + React engineer (admittedly with 12 years of experience), and I'm in the 96th % income bracket for individuals of my age (mid-40s). And I just started this position a month or two ago, so it's not like I got this job during the time of ZIRP.

IMO it completely depends on the company you're working for. I've seen job ads targeting my skill level offering $200k/year, and others offering $130k or even less. There will always be companies out there either trying to lowball people, or who genuinely don't operate in a vertical which is profitable enough to pay top-band salaries.

Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#75

Post by [deleted] »

monkeyelite wrote: post #60
throwanem wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It does cause serious problems if you ever start needing engineers, though, unless you're a better politician than people who imagine themselves skillful politicians almost ever are.

Oh no, where will you find people with some web fundamentals who are able to learn a crud framework.

[deleted]

Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#76

Post by mlsu »

farts_mckensy wrote: post #53
Vespasian wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Assuming that is true, does a more negative way of viewing things actually benefit you (even if it would be slightly more "accurate")? If one has a choice (that means if there is no case of clinical depression): At least anecdotally a bit of optimism improves my life quality a lot and results in a higher productivity, proactive solution finding and a more pleasant work environment. Constantly looking at the negative…

It's not difficult to imagine a number of scenarios where that perspective could bite you in the ass. If you have a false impression of a person's character because you've jedi mindtricked yourself into not thinking the worst of people, you might end up trusting an untrustworthy person. If you are in a toxic work environment, and you convince yourself it's not so bad, you might end up staying in a situation that is a…

The counterpoint is that seeing things “as they are” (which is the mind of a depressed person — ask me how I know) can lead you to not give people the benefit of the doubt, it can lead you to be miserly, unmerciful, pessimistic, cowardly. There is always a reason to be distrustful. But the only way good things can happen in your life is to be generous with your spirit and you should seek to do so as a matter of course, even if the rational part of your mind has inhibitions.

This isn’t to say, be foolish. But on the other hand, the mindset that leads to this kind of deprivation can be more difficult to cure, since it always appears from a place of rationality.

Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#77

Post by throwanem »

toomanyrichies wrote: post #74
bravesoul2 wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I found a correlation between Rails and lower salaries. Not sure why though. I was actively looking to move to Rails for a change of scenery, until I realised it comes with a tax.

What country were you searching in? I'm an American work-from-home Rails + React engineer (admittedly with 12 years of experience), and I'm in the 96th % income bracket for individuals of my age (mid-40s). And I just started this position a month or two ago, so it's not like I got this job during the time of ZIRP. IMO it completely depends on the company you're working for. I've seen job ads targeting my skill level…

What's the delta on Rails + React vs Rails without?

Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#78

Post by bigtunacan »

throwanem wrote: post #11
ktbwrestler wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

genuinely curious what your take is here, I have been in security engineering for 5-6 years, then most recently a startup that's using rails. It honestly does not seem that bad even though we're using an ember frontend. What is your thought process here? Is it the notion that you can ship as fast as possible, and that creates a shitty environment given that you're a hamster on a wheel getting measured by output since…

If you mean about Rails specifically, it's that the total lack of discipline in both language and framework makes it impossible to build a product maintainable by more than one person, so every "successful" project has one or a few covert empire builders running it, usually with more political than technical success. That's not a kind of project that pays enough to be worth the trouble, even before we talk about oppo…

Hard disagree. I work on one of the largest Rails codebases out there. Millions of lines of code running in a monolith. I have learned more in this shop about scaling, observability, mature system designs, zero downtime upgrades, deploys, etc…

I been in this field for almost 30 years and have worked with whatever tech the job required. Still I learned more at a Rails shop with more than 200 engineers all working in the same monolith shipping to production multiple times every day.

Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#79

Post by tonyedgecombe »

jll29 wrote: post #70
crowcroft wrote: post #19

You can usually find out if a job is wrong for you within days, sometimes hours. You might never know for sure if a job is right for you though.

A good smell test for a job that isn't right for you is whether you ask yourself if it is the right job early on, or if you even have thoughts of quitting in the first year/month/week, apart from being overwhelmed by all the new faces. The only "bad" job that I had was with a very good company (wonderful people, great benefits, just the code absolutely sucked), so that was making the decision very hard to quit. In la…

I remember finding my predecessor's lunch in my desk drawer on the first day at one job. He had left several months before so it definitely failed the smell test.

Re: How long it takes to know if a job is right for you or not

#80

Post by throwanem »

bigtunacan wrote: post #78
throwanem wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you mean about Rails specifically, it's that the total lack of discipline in both language and framework makes it impossible to build a product maintainable by more than one person, so every "successful" project has one or a few covert empire builders running it, usually with more political than technical success. That's not a kind of project that pays enough to be worth the trouble, even before we talk about oppo…

Hard disagree. I work on one of the largest Rails codebases out there. Millions of lines of code running in a monolith. I have learned more in this shop about scaling, observability, mature system designs, zero downtime upgrades, deploys, etc… I been in this field for almost 30 years and have worked with whatever tech the job required. Still I learned more at a Rails shop with more than 200 engineers all working in t…

I'm well aware there is a large Rails shop with famously strong engineering practices, which I believe deserve much credit that accrues for some reason instead to the framework.
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