Live data from Hacker News

Emotional support across adulthood: A 60-year study of men’s social networks

psypost.org

71–80 of 191 posts

Re: Emotional support across adulthood: A 60-year study of men’s social networks

#71
post #62

Once you're an adult, do you even need one in the first place? I'm 24, I don't go to anyone for help pretty much ever, I just follow my own goals. That's gotten me way farther than most people I know I don't think this talk about "male emotional support networks" is actually intended to help men, it's meant to infantilize them. They'd be better off just buying into the nietzschean "support yourself" type of worldview

You don't think you will want some support when a tragedy befalls you? A child or partner is hospitalized or dies? You develop a potentially terminal illness? A partner betrays you? Are you just going to "follow your goals" in these situations?

> A child or partner is hospitalized or dies?

everyone processes grief differently

> You develop a potentially terminal illness?

I mean, I'm probably going to die anyway. At least if you're alone you don't have to worry about the trade off between extreme medical bills and a few more months of life vs leaving family more money

> A partner betrays you?

I don't really plan on marrying so I'd just replace them with someone else

In all of these situations, you can figure out ways to get through them alone

Re: Emotional support across adulthood: A 60-year study of men’s social networks

#72

"However, generalized responses, such as “family” or “friends,” as well as mentions of non-human sources like pets, were excluded from formal analyses." They excluded everyone that had a large support network from the study.

Oh, that explains it. I was sitting here wondering how anyone has only two to begin with.

[deleted]

Re: Emotional support across adulthood: A 60-year study of men’s social networks

#75
Imagine having someone, anyone, that you felt comfortable sharing your feelings with. Amazing.

I've known my best friend for 50 years now, literally since kindergarten. One person. I probably wouldn't talk about my top 5% of private feelings with him, not sure why. I've been married 28 years now. She doesn't understand me at all, and doesn't want to see or hear any "weakness" from me. So what the f@#$ is an emotional support network? Science fiction, I'd say.

Re: Emotional support across adulthood: A 60-year study of men’s social networks

#76

We get an emotional support network? Nobody told me.

I know it's supposed to be a joke but it actually encapsulates one of the core issues about this already on the language level, men thinking they'd "get" something out of thin air. Do you think women have 31.41x larger emotional support networks out of thin air? Of course not, they put the effort in. Men don't.

>Men don't.

Even the idea repulses me.

Re: Emotional support across adulthood: A 60-year study of men’s social networks

#78

Once you're an adult, do you even need one in the first place? I'm 24, I don't go to anyone for help pretty much ever, I just follow my own goals. That's gotten me way farther than most people I know I don't think this talk about "male emotional support networks" is actually intended to help men, it's meant to infantilize them. They'd be better off just buying into the nietzschean "support yourself" type of worldview

Yes, I don't even know what "emotional support" would look like. I have never wanted to externalize my emotions and the idea of talking to my friends about my feelings seems utterly bizarre.

I mean, I talk to friends and family about stuff that's going on. But I don't turn to them for actual advice because usually my own advice is better

Re: Emotional support across adulthood: A 60-year study of men’s social networks

#79

We get an emotional support network? Nobody told me.

I know it's supposed to be a joke but it actually encapsulates one of the core issues about this already on the language level, men thinking they'd "get" something out of thin air. Do you think women have 31.41x larger emotional support networks out of thin air? Of course not, they put the effort in. Men don't.

> they put the effort in. Men don't.

Or you know, they do, and get used and cast aside enough times and stop.

Re: Emotional support across adulthood: A 60-year study of men’s social networks

#80

I am doing my PhD and occasionally my supervisor and I come across papers that don't have any meaningful results/statistics but you gotta publish somehow. Like, they conclude with "We observed that the latency can be reduced by 2x-300x." I feel like the group that did this research spent a decade, and their supervisor was like, well, we gotta publish something. Choose an age interval that fits the whole data. 30-90.

Agreed. They followed this cohort for decades and this was the conclusion? It reads like an update from the pitch drop experiment.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitch_drop_experiment

Post reply on HN