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Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

theatlantic.com

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Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#71

Post by rossdavidh »

Just my $0.02: I have a few friends who I meet, on a regular basis, at one of our homes or at a coffeeshop. One, a fellow programmer, also WFH and we meet up at a coffeeshop once a week to spend a few hours at the same table. True, some of the time is not actually typing on keyboards, but it is still work-related in that we discuss how programming works, doesn't work, industry trends, what should be done next, etc.

It started because my friend, on FB, just put it out there that if anyone (on his FB friends' list) wanted to meet up to work at a coffeeshop, at a table with a friend they knew, he was up for it. Someone has to speak up first. If you would be willing to do that, use that "social" network to let your whole friend group know you would be willing to do it. It's not a complete cure for excessive isolation, but it is worth doing. But somebody has to speak up first, to put that invitation out there for somebody else to respond to.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#72

Post by mercer »

alexpotato wrote: post #53

One change I've seen between my parents generation and my generation: In my parents generation, stay at home moms would primarily socialize during the day. Working dads would, in turn, socialize after work with co-workers or male friends who, generally, also worked in New York City. In my generation, the stay at home moms socialize a lot more in the evenings and it's expected that the working dad be around to do the…

Sounds like the problem is too much work.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#73

Post by jeremyjh »

whoknowsidont wrote: post #16
ViktorRay wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s possible that these journalists are in their own bubble or echo chamber. The journalists who write this stuff have become isolated and spend excessive amounts of time doomscrolling or arguing about random crap on Twitter. So they assume that’s what everyone is doing. Meanwhile lots of people are just out here living life. Plenty of places where I live are filled with people hanging out. Hardly anybody glued to t…

The article has data, would you care to comment on that or just speak in platitudes?

It cites a social science study that claims to provide data. Are popular press articles about social science studies considered credible again somehow?

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#74

Post by mercer »

janalsncm wrote: post #64
tennisflyi wrote: post #5

No third space (and phones)

Bingo. Phones definitely don’t help, but people in all countries have phones. The death of third places is a problem in America and correlated with the decline in malls and even decreases in teen drivers license. Almost every third place in America either costs money or (in the case of places like libraries) is noticeably impacted other social problems like homelessness. And on top of that, you have to drive to get t…

speaking from The Netherlands, it's a problem here too.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#75

Post by skhunted »

Dalewyn wrote: post #48
skhunted wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You wrote this: For example, "reduced weekly social hangouts by more than three hours a week" sounds impressive until you remember a week is composed of 7 days, and 3 hours / 7 days = ~0.43 hours a day, or approximately 26 minutes less hanging out per day on average. That's a rounding error. after writing this: The interesting thing about statistics is you can twist them to mean anything you want. That’s ironic given…

If anything, I demonstrated my point quite clearly: The narrative peddlers say the number is significant, I say the number is practically meaningless. If you are interested in getting an educated answer, crunch the numbers yourself along with your own life experiences and come to your own conclusions. My own conclusion is that, no, 3 hours a week or 26 minutes a day is not significant. It's a rounding error. >What is…

When talking about statistics one can not credibly say,

If you are interested in getting an educated answer, crunch the numbers yourself along with your own life experiences and come to your own conclusions….

Anecdotes do not constitute getting an educated answer.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#76

Post by phendrenad2 »

Okay, now compare this to the rest of the world. Surely the US isn't going to dethrone Japan as the king of introverts anytime soon, right? Are there places in the world where "hanging out" is increasing, or holding steady? This article could very well be about a global phenomenon. It would be really nice to know if it is.

EDIT: I've heard that in southern Europe (roughly, Spain, France, Greece), "hanging out" is as strong as ever. What are they doing right? Is it the population density? The social acceptance of multi-generational combined living? Weak GDP? Poor cellphone service? Something else?

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#77

Post by jader201 »

I’ve really taken up board games lately, and have a group of 3-5 people I play with almost weekly, and sometimes twice a week. We’re even doing a quarterly all-day thing this Saturday.

Saying this to encourage people here to try it out, even if that means you hosting. Board games are great way for hackers to get off devices, but still solve puzzles, and hang out with others in the process.

Set the example by staying off your phone. It seems to send the message in our group, and people tend to stay off.

If you’ve not played in a while, there are plenty of lighter (simpler rules, quicker play) that are still fun and require a lot of thinking and strategy.

I’ve been playing regularly since right before the pandemic, and we picked back up after things got mostly back to “normal”.

It also helps to be intentional. Try to be consistent, and find people that are open to regular games to keep it going.

I hear the excuse that people don’t have time, but it’s typically just an excuse — unless you have small(er) kids where they do require a bit more time and energy. But if you have no or older kids, make time to play.

I’ve really enjoyed it, and the connections are nice.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#78

Post by jjulius »

houseatrielah wrote: post #3
newsclues wrote: post #2

Hanging out with people glued to phones is boring

That's what sober people say about hanging out with those imbibing. You're not wrong tho.

Huh? Careful with those absolutes. I've been sober for seven years now and don't find this statement to be the case for me. I enjoy hanging around both sober and non-sober folk alike. Hell, I regularly have a blast on packed dancefloors surrounded by incredibly inebriated folk, both friends and strangers, very late into the night.

Everyone's different.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#79

Post by jjjjj55555 »

hnthroaway992 wrote: post #62

Perhaps it's just the way the algorithm on these sites skew but it does strike me a little odd that there's often articles landing in my feeds lamenting about social connection. Why is there not as much promotion of ways of finding happiness in solitude? It would seem at least as much a solution as any this issue of distressed caused by loneliness.

My Instagram feed is always showing me stuff about how awesome it is to be single and childless.

I think it's way oversold, and they leave out the part that it's only fun if you're youngish and have lots of money and free time.

Re: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out

#80

Post by Dalewyn »

skhunted wrote: post #75
Dalewyn wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If anything, I demonstrated my point quite clearly: The narrative peddlers say the number is significant, I say the number is practically meaningless. If you are interested in getting an educated answer, crunch the numbers yourself along with your own life experiences and come to your own conclusions. My own conclusion is that, no, 3 hours a week or 26 minutes a day is not significant. It's a rounding error. >What is…

When talking about statistics one can not credibly say, If you are interested in getting an educated answer, crunch the numbers yourself along with your own life experiences and come to your own conclusions…. Anecdotes do not constitute getting an educated answer.

If by educated you mean "Following the preachings of powers-that-be.", sure it's not an educated answer, it's a wrongthink answer.

But if by educated you mean taking the numbers and crunching them yourself together with your life experiences, values, knowledge, and wisdom you've accrued, then whatever conclusion you draw is an educated answer. See also: "Educated guess."

Personally, I've been burned far too many times far too consistently by "journalists", "experts", so-called "scientists", and whoever else with haughty titles that I don't consider them any more than cancerous wastes of my and everyone's time.

Grab the raw numbers provided by proper scientists devoid of editorial bullcrap, crunch them yourself, and draw your own educated answer. Statistics can mean anything, don't let others twist them for you.

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