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Getting Out of a Rut

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71–80 of 117 posts

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#71
You need to see a psychiatrist for diagnosis and treatment. You are showing symptoms of depression. If you have depression, you can't get out of it by yourself -- you will need help. Fortunately, there are professionals standing by who have dedicated their lives to helping people just like you.

There can be biological causes for low mood and energy. I'll mention two.

The first is hypothyroidism (low thyroid). This comes on insidiously, with lower and lower levels over a span of years. Your energy gets lower and lower, slowly over time. Thyroid hormone is needed by every cell in your body to produce energy. Can be diagnosed with the TSH blood test (if above 3, suspect hypothyroidism).

The second is low testosterone, which can also be diagnosed with blood tests. It also develops insidiously. Testosterone has a powerful effect on the brain. A hundred years ago, testosterone was used as a therapy for depression (it worked).

Go see a doctor. You can't get out of it by yourself.

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#73
I felt much the same before my kid was born. I would concentrate on enjoying what time you have left as a free man to tick off any bucket lists that might be tricky being tied to your kids post code.

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#74
I've been in ruts before. Something helpful which has gotten me to the other side of the most recent one is telling myself repeatedly "I'm just in a bad time". The last word (i.e. "time") is really key here. It's imposing a temporal structure of transience on the situation. In this way, I can conceptualize the "end" of the "bad time" as sone (unknown) future point in time which is inevitably approaching, even though I'm not sure when it will be.

The notion of a "rut", by contrast, imposes a physical structure on the concept (think is a person who is literally stuck in a ditch in the ground) which doesn't lend itself to your thinking of it as "inevitable" for you to ever get out of it.

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#75
Sorry if a bit too-much off-topic, but could we all agree as a society that 4DWW (Four Day Work Week) would do wonders to address some of the issues in this post?

My best wishes to you specifically. I am curious if you think a week or few-week vacation would give you time to address some challenges you otherwise can't find time for?

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#77
There is so much complexity here but I do not know where to start but I just want to throw in that the first few months of parenthood are supposed to be difficult and zombie like so don’t get down on yourself if you make some progress in the next few months, then regress. Things get better after the first year and maybe sooner

Re: Getting Out of a Rut

#80

>> In February, I’ll become a father and I want to be there for my son Have as much quality rest as you can and find the best therapist you can. Those are obly advices i wish someone gave mme in your situation

Would you have shared with your wife that you seeked therapist help?

In fact asked her to help me find one.
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